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how did your skids handle your wedding to their mother/father?

Mich811's picture

Submitted by Mich811 on Wed, 05/19/2010 - 2:29pm

we are having a party to celebrate our wedding this weekend (after getting married a while back). stepkids know we are married, and know that this party is just an after the fact celebration. SD5 and i are very close, she is wearing a pretty flower girl outfit and SO excited about the party, she talks about it nonstop.

anyway, SD5 has been having major separation issues at school in the last few months. it seems to have increased recently. DH is traveling a lot more often for work...and we have this wedding party looming this weekend.

I'm worried that SD's issues relate to the party, even though she seems really excited and happy about it.

Anyone have stories to share about how their skids handled their weddings?

Comments

iwishyouwould's picture

Submitted by iwishyouwould on Wed, 05/19/2010 - 3:43pm

SS5 went to preschool the next day and told everyone that he got married LOL. He was very excited, wouldnt stop talking about it, very happy.

Z's picture

Submitted by Z on Wed, 05/19/2010 - 4:14pm

I just got married (I have three children 7, 6, 3) and they absolutely loved the wedding. My husband made promises to them during the ceremony and they were happy although I think it was more profound for the people watching who need to accept that he will be acting/living/loving as their father now. If your SD seems happy I would look for other reasons why she might be having those issues. But make an effort to include her, reassure her and look for signs that she is struggling. Good luck!

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Wed, 05/19/2010 - 4:16pm

She loved it. SD has never had an issue with me. I never had to deal with "I hate my SM" crap, thank GOD!

She was the flower girl and she had a blast.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 05/20/2010 - 9:21am

My skids didn't handle it well at all. They refused to attend because DH refused to invite CrustyBits & her then-boyfriend. CrustyBits seemed rather offended when she realized the date was nearing & she had yet to receive an invitation. DH expressed that he felt it would be inappropriate to have her there, not simply because she's his ex, but because she has been nothing but a menace to our relationship & to the relationships between him & his kids. They have been through battle after battle in court, & she has made our lives hell! She expressed her disappointment to the skids & they decided they would only come if she could. So, none of them were there.

Last we heard from CrustyBits about SD13's reason for being angry, it is because when CrustyBits walked out on them, DH was left with SS5 & SD2. They were worried about never seeing their mom again & he assured them he wasn't marrying anyone else. Yeah, he said he wouldn't, & then did. Thing is, CrustyBits left him, then skids left him to be with CrustyBits. They've all moved on. Do they really feel like he doesn't deserve to move on too??? Maybe she'll get it when she's older. Maybe she won't.

Far as SS16's anger about the wedding, he felt DH should've asked him to be his Best Man. Really??? After 5 years in court with the 3 of them teaming up against him so they wouldn't have to spend time in a home with discipline & rules, after SS stood in front of a judge & flat-out lied saying DH was abusive & angry, he felt entitled to the title of Best Man??? DH blew it off. I told him I felt he needed to explain to SS exactly what it means to be a Best Man...someone who is supportive of you, someone you can count on in good times & bad, a best friend. I felt DH should've explained that SS has been NONE of these things. He has been a lying, back-stabbing thorn who will say ANYTHING to please CrustyBits. I feel SS is old enough to understand & needs to know he wasn't asked because he didn't deserve it.