**** OFFENSIVE CONTENT ****** I spanked my kid ..... and I would spank your brat too if they were misbehaving in my home.
Okay everyone. Apparently once again I have missed some highly dramatic interplay in our community. My intro line was designed to get attention and induce cerebral activity regarding personal attacks, differences of opinion and any other discussion that anyone may take exception to.
Parenting is like any decision based activity. Nearly everyone would do something different in any given situation. So, why do some take extreme exception to a different decision??? Huhh????? Huhh?????? Tell me, tell me!!!!!!
Here are some things that some may take exception to:
1. I spanked my kid for misbehaving and I would blister your brat's ass if they were misbehaving in my home. However, the odds of that happening are slim and non since if you had an incorrigible child I would not allow your brat on my property.
2. If your kid is being incorrigible in public I will say something. Keep you kid under control or muzzle them and lock them in the dog cage (Figuratively of course). Just don't expose the rest of the world to your failure as a parent. I don't. If my kid was having a meltdown or having a brain fart day the kid stayed home alone of we all stayed home. If he had a meltdown in public I took the kid to the Men's room and there were consequences once we got there. I respect you and myself to much to let my kid ruin your meal, your movie or your day at the park with your family.
3. I am a hyper fiscal and personal accountability conservative. If you don't earn it you should get nothing. If you break the law you suffer the consequences. You have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness only if you abide by the law of the land (whichever land applies to you). Equal opportunity does not mean equal outcome. If at first you don't succeed try and try again. If you quit trying don't expect me or anyone else to support you. The best help you can get is from yourself.
4. No religion is ideal. All religion offers some value. All fundamentalists are whack jobs regardless of which religion they profess to follow. God is good and expects all of us to be good to each other. God told me. 
If you don't believe in God I respect that and support you. Believe or not we should be good to each other.
5. The job of government is to protect the right of self determination. Tax me but only for Defense, Law Enforcement, Basic Infrastructure, Protection of National Interest and Subsistence for those Physically or Mentally incapable of providing for themselves. Over breeding, lack of education or a sense of entitlement does not prevent you or anyone else from earning your way.
6. Any other perspective that you may not agree with or will piss you off.
The point of this post is that everyone has a perspective that will piss off someone else.
If you don't agree with me you may be wrong. I may be wrong. We can discuss anything as respectful adults without having to respect the person we don't agree with. Being respectful is what any adult should to when conversing. Being respected is earned and the joice of the one giving the respect.
In the words of the immortal George Carlin to Bill and Ted. "Be excelent to each other ....... and party on Dudes".
Best disagreeable regards,
- Rags's blog
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Comments
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! So you
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
So you know I will be using this line
"don't expose the rest of the world to your failure as a parent".
I was at lunch the other day and some woman was there with her child around 3 I would say. He started screaming and crying about something and she put him on her lap and said are you having a bad day? After reading what you put and me agreeing with you on EVERYTHING I need not say more.
WRONG!!!!! I will have to
WRONG!!!!! I will have to give my two cents. I do not spoil my child, I try to correct him when he acts up But he is a "brat" he is a 2.5 year old and is definitely the child that screams while you try to have a nice meal. Just recently my child was referred to be evaluated for Autism...
All I want to say is that, people need more empathy than that. I try not to go out with my son, but I cannot lock myself at home just because I know he will misbehave outside. I still need to run some errands, etc... My son has not formally been diagnosed as autistic, and I honestly don't think that he is autistic, but I just want to say that sometimes kids DO have problems, and is hard to tell the difference between a genuine brat and a kid with a problem. Is just easy to judge and think that the parents lack the skills to handle and discipline their child.
When I see a kid screaming in a store, I try to have as much empathy as possible. I've been there, done that type of feeling.
I agree sometimes children
I agree sometimes children have other issues. In this case he got upset because his mom told him it was time to leave. I have a SD3 and we dont go out to dinner while she is with us, we dont take them to movies and if we are at a park and she is acting up we leave as to not subject people to our screaming children. Its a difference of opinion I guess. I hope things turn out well for your son. What happend with the evaluation?
I totally respect your
I totally respect your opinion and can totally see how someone would not want to have kids. I mean parents love their kids, but kids are very annoying for sure. I just want to say that kids with problems is not as "rare" and maybe you are not aware. I try to respect others while I am out, and that is why there are many places I would just NOT go at all, because I have NO ONE to watch my son, as I live in a different country as my family. If I need to go to the pharmacy, grocery store, post office, etc, I have to take my son with me. DH and I have to take him when we go out too, but we don't go out to fancy quiet places either, just out of respect for others. I don't expect people to "have" to deal with screaming children. It is not fair to go out to have a relaxing diner and be sat next to a table with an uncontrallable child. I can't tell you how many times we just leave places because of my son's behavior. I am not just going to sit there and pretend my son isn't throwing a fit, if I can't control him, I will take him out for sure. All I was saying is that don't just put the BAD PARENTING label on the mother or father's forehead when you see a child (especially toddler) misbehaving after different attempts of calming him/ her down. We don't go out because of my son, but at the same time, It is not my fault my son behaves the way he does, you know what I mean?
Couldn't have said this
Couldn't have said this better myself.
KGB
Formally known as Dani (RIP Baby Girl)
I agree, Rags. When I was
I agree, Rags. When I was growing up, my parents made it clear to other adults that if I acted out, they were free to discipline me as they didn't take it to extreme levels. DH also does this with SDs (except for the spanking because they were sexually abused).
You are so in my head! I
You are so in my head! I agree with every single thing you said. I wish everyone could either agree with each other or agree to disagree and leave it at that. I have apparently not been party to the drama that is causing so many problems on here lately, and I would like to keep it that way.
Yuppers. All good indeed. My
Yuppers. All good indeed.
My mom used to make us sit in the car where we could see the rest of the family enjoying a restuarant meal if we acted like rude little buttheads in the restuarant. (Times were safer back then and she could see us). Surprisingly, I learned in a damn hurry that it sucked big time to sit in the car but I sure learned to behave out in public.
Rags... You totally
Rags...
You totally ROCK!!!
If there were more parents who thought the way you did, there would be fewer problems in the world. I especially love your #3 and #5, BTW!
Excellent post Rags...my only
Excellent post Rags...my only issue maybe that in certain cases i've seen first hand a meltdown or two where it was not a case of failure of parenting but an issue with the child having autism. In that event I know that its hard to tell the difference sometimes but I was in a restaurant when one of these episodes happened and a child was literally running from one end to the other going nuts. One of the patrons said somewhat nastily to the parents, learn how to control your child or maybe you shouldn't bring him to public places until he's able to act accordingly. The father stood up and apologized to the lady and explained that it was not because they let him do whatever they wanted but because this running up and down actually prevented him from having a meltdown and said he understood why she felt that way and apologized again. Everyone was a little more understanding knowing the issue afterwards.
Nomi...this was something I
Nomi...this was something I witnessed and so I know that I feel like you for the most part as well. I would limit when and where I take my child if I knew he/she was prone to these types of issues. Just throwing it out there that in some cases it's not JUST an issue of failure of parenting
WOW!!! I just haven't
WOW!!! I just haven't gathered up the courage to tell ostrich that because his brats don't know how to behave they cannot come to my home. He knows I don't want to be around them; at least i don't thik he's that dense. When my teens were younger and they acted out I always asked if we needed to have a discussion with the Tidy Bowl man (my brand of toilet bowl cleaner at the time)they learned early on that this was not a "discussion" they wanted any part of. I also turned heal-full cart-and marched them right back out of the store and back home when a fit came on. And it only took one to spoil it for everyone. Their dad drove over the road and so when I took one I had to take the other when I went out to run my errands. My favorite was when they were 3 and 5--playing in the clothes racks at Walmart. I called their names, waited a ew mintues called again then proceeded to walk away. I didnt go far and kept looking behind to see if either had caught on. They both finally did and then there was this awful crying fit that ensued because they thought I "left" them. I explained why it is we stay together, that they had wanted to be "big" kids and not be stuck in the cart and I had said there would be a consequence if they took off. After we gathered back together I then asked what would have happened if it hadn't been me that found them? Then of all things they ask if they can go pick out a toy? Umm, no no you may not--remember consequence? They proceeded to throw a large fit right there and I got down eye-level and asked what would they do if I just laid down right there and started screaming and throwing a big fit? The look on their faces-to this day I wish I had had a camera. You see I was already squatting on the floor to talk to them and they could see it wasn't much further to the floor and mom throwing her own "fit". They never tried that again-as a matter of fact they insisted on riding in the cart until they were too big to do so
Good point, fedup, but we do
Good point, fedup, but we do know that THOSE cases are few and far between.
Moreso than not, the out-of-control kids we usually see are the "typical" kids- snotty, bratty, entitled, ones who are only acting so because the parents are too lazy or apathetic to parent them effectively.
The difference, if you will notice, with an autisitc, or special needs child, is that usually, the parent is right there with them, TRYING DESPERATELY to control the behavior.
(From a parent with a child who has Down Syndrome, and has been to fair my share of "Special Needs" events with other parents of special needs children- I've seen it all after 20+ years!)
"I miss the days when parents
"I miss the days when parents were parents.........not trying to be your best friend!'
Absolutely Windee!! Kids have plenty of friends, but their parents are the only ones who can be PARENTS. It's about teaching kids personal responsibility, morals and values, not befriending them.
And you're correct about the differences of opinion as well. Everyone has their opinion, that's what makes us all different.
Windee - I agree - I miss
Windee - I agree - I miss those days as well. My parents didn't have that foolishness out of me or my siblings and there were 7 of us growing up. AND i didn't have it out of my daughter. I took care of it right then and there at a young age. When she got a little older she was well behaved and thus was rewarded for good behaviour.
Totally agree....I didn't act
Totally agree....I didn't act like that and my kids don't act that way. I think it is a simply that if you demand respect you will get it.
It seems that many here are
It seems that many here are jumping on board with the parenting/discipline aspect of this post, but NOT recognizing the actual intention behind it...
What Rags is saying is that we must RESPECT others opinions and beliefs if we want them to respect OURS. Even when their opinion differs from ours. Even when it's the antithesis of what we believe, we have to respect their right to not agree with us and give them the freedom to express their opinion, in the same way we are given that freedom.
That doesn't happen much here any longer. Mostly due to some people's inability to have any sense of self-control in their rush to demonize someone who might think or believe differently.
There is now the option to censor others differing beliefs and opinions in order to form a false sense of solidarity.
I may not agree with it, but it is here. I may even find this response deleted because the author disagrees with me. I don't believe that does anyone any good, but... in the words of Amadeus, there it is.
I agree with you, Rags. Not all the time, and not in many of your convictions, as they pertain to discipline, federal responsibility or religion, but I agree with your right to speak about them freely.
Sheesh, Rags, I'm very
Sheesh, Rags, I'm very politically liberal and I agree with every single thing you said. I must be slipping in my old age...
Awesome post, Rags! With you
Awesome post, Rags! With you 100%!
I needed a haircut yesterday
I needed a haircut yesterday and took the boys with me.Normally they get their hair cuts at the same place but lately, mine is growing out of control and super fast.
The boys started fighting while I was in the chair. I asked the hair dresser to excuse me and then I dealt with them ... the murderous muttering under my breath seemed to fix them for the rest of the time in the store.
I dealt with them out of respect for others. I could have let them yell at each other but that is just embarassing for me and awkward for those around them.
Consideration of others.
I agree with Rags ... "Don't expose the rest of us to your failure as a parent."
Clarification. I absolutely
Clarification.
I absolutely understand the the difference between an icorrigible child and a child with a development issue.
What I was referring to was the kid that throws the "I WANT MY ICECREAM NOW ......" and is rude, etc ...... while the parent(s) ignores them while everyone else in the restaurant cringes.
I worked at a Special Need summer camp one summer in the late 70's with kids will a broad range of special needs. I absolutely loved it and those kids were great. All of them, even the ones with loud and unpredictable issues like autism.
And, my motivating point was that you may not agree with me, I may not agree with you but I will make every effort to be respectful when I present my counter to your opinion.
Thanks everyone. I have enjoyed this thread.
Best regards,
Well done Rags!!
Well done Rags!!
I agree to a point. I would
I agree to a point. I would hate to think as parents we judge each other so quickley. My kids have had tantrums on planes, in malls and at resturants. Its uncomfortable and nerve racking. But hell thats life.
My kids were not bad or undisiplined but they are kids and their emotions can be all over the place.Being a parent is the hardest job, and like all jobs you have good days and bad.
I was on a airplane and a little girl in back of me was singing the entire flight. The parent kept telling her to lower her voice. She was thrilled to be going to Disney and could not contain herself. It was annoying but as a parent I it just went in one ear and out the other. The lady next to me was freaking out.
Maybe Im off topic, but I guess my overall feeling is , that as parents ourselves we have to understand, its not as clear cut displine as it may seem. We all have circumstances with our kids.
I do not believe in being friends with your kids, they have friends, you need to be a parent. ]
I just dont think parents should be labeled as failure when things get crazy.
That said their is always going to be parents, that take their kids to expensive , not kid friendly resturants, PG 13 movies etc.
JMO
Lilly, Yep, all kids will
Lilly,
Yep, all kids will have a meltdown periodically at various stages of childhood. I am good with that. I am better when the parent of the molten child takes the kid to the rest room to calm the situation down rather than ignoring the tantrums and ruining everyone elses day.
I respect the parent that will take the crying baby to the restroom, back of the plane, to the car, outside, and otherwise do what they can to decompress the kid and return some level of calm to the situation.
As for annoyingly happy kids (the airplane Disney vocalist)...... I am actually good with that. Those people (adult or child) actually make me smile.
It is the obnoxiouse brat who's parents cater to their every whym that I take issue with.
I absolutely agree with your statement "I do not believe in being friends with your kids, they have friends, you need to be a parent."
My thoughts on parenting is that as parents we are our kid's Example, Mentor, Advocate and Disciplinarian. We are not their buddy.
Best regards.