I think I know, At least in part anyway.

I tend to put the onus on picking a partner of substance, character, honor, and quality.  However, I do not often reference THE key part of the discussion. Being our best regarding substance, character, honor, and quality for ourselves and for a worthy partner.

We must be as worthy of them as they are of us.

Unfortunately that balance is often hard to land on.  As SParents we have chosen a partner with elements of their past that move into our lives with our partner.  If our partner cannot maintain worthiness by effectively managing their kids and X(s) we maybe should consider a different choice. Of course that necessitates that we have kept any history we bring in the appropriate place.

We are all the sum of our lives at any given point.  Those experiences in large part make us who we are and the person that our person chose.  

Every day the choice to make a journey together has to be renewed.  That means history has to remain where it belongs.  Life's challenges have to be navigated effectively together or it will have to be navigated ... not together.

IMHO of course.

Just waxing philosophical(ly).

Thanks for the read.