bm constant calling and now sd9 constant whining about "missing her mom"
What is this all about and how do I deal with it?? Trying soooo hard to control my emotions and not let them control me but this is hard. She calls so much now since having a baby that its like everytime bf's phone rings sd9 is thinking its her mom. We are going on an overnight trip tom morning till tuesday and she I misses her mom so we have to take her home tonight now. Bm can't come cause she's feeding the baby-why is bf allowing this? I just need to vent cause she is 9 is this ridiculous...sd7 is staying with us, so why can't sd9 ....he just said to her what an inconvenience this is and she just smiles wtf!!??
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i think dh has the right
i think dh has the right approach. same thing i do with the toddler - he tells me his tummy hurts and he cant clean his room so i put him to bed, no matter how much he kicks and screams, and i am nice about it (my poor baby is sick and needs to sleep. night night!). if she misses mommy so much she cant function without her, and you think this is a manipulation tactic, then take her on her word! she misses mommy? ok - bye bye! i love you, gonna miss you, so sorry youre gonna miss out on all these fun things! see ya later aligator!! then let sd7 tell her about all the fun stuff she missed out on. SS5 didnt use the im too sick excuse after two "ok night night!"'s from me.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
I agree. There were many
I agree. There were many times when my SDs were younger and wanted to go back home to BM while they were visiting us. But not both of them at the same time. It was as if they were taking turns. LOL! My DH just left SDs cry about it and after a little while, they no longer wanted to leave. After a few times of this happening, they realized that we were not giving in and letting them control what was going to happen. The only way that they got to leave was if they continued to cry about it for more than an hour and only if BM came to get which ever SD was crying & wanted to go home.
With my kids when they want
With my kids when they want to go to my exes house I just flat out tell them that I am sorry they are upset, but right now they HAVE to be with me. And that is that. I tell them its ok to be upset, and to go ahead to their room and hug a special animal and cry or throw a fit, or write about it or whatever until they are ready to come back out and be with the family. They usually do just that, they cry a bit, get bored and come back out and join the family with a perfect attitude.
Sometimes my SDs 13 and 15
Sometimes my SDs 13 and 15 do this. They have been sorely neglected by BM, though. I think they're crying mostly because they want her to be a mom , though.
I agree with the other posters. Let them hug a special animal, write about it and have some space to themselves in their rooms until they feel better and can come and rejoin the family.
Awesome advice guys-i was in
Awesome advice guys-i was in the car typing on my bb when I was venting for help. Sunday nights they go home but since we are leavin in the am it was best for them to stay-anyways their mom was up for either way, and sd9 who I feel DOES feel neglected by her mom cuz of the new baby opted for home during the drive home from the mall....no tears just a I miss mommy and this as I was saying is happening more and more...they seem so co dependent on each other since baby came in feb. she bawled and hugged her animals friday nite, but we donlt let her call ther shots and after a little while she fell asleep. Its just sad and irritating, but I love ur posts about "bye bye nite nite" or here's mommyy see ya later bc u are soooo right. We just put sd7 to bed and she said nighty to her sis and told her all about the manicure I gave her and the dinner we had.. I pray it gets better bc bf is farrr from a jerk and playing his cards quite well-its the sd9 and bm bond that has us BOTH concerned. Does it get better when mother daughter relationships seem so needy and co-dependent?
Everything I am not, makes me who I am
im the oldest of five.. i
im the oldest of five.. i went thru a little bit of what your sd is going thru every time a new baby came on the scene. transitions are tough for kids. i think its pretty normal and should get better as long as bm and sd find a happy medium eventually - emotions are running high and it might take some time but im sure things will calm down eventually. i actually LOATHED my baby brother (almost twelve years younger than me) when he was born but after a couple months i wouldnt let him out of my sight and now we are super close. it'll be ok.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
In hindsight bf should have
In hindsight bf should have made bm come get sd9-this is being discussed as we speak lol thx iwish and other posters!! Everything I am not, makes me who I am