hello and help

I finally joined and feel so confident that you all can really provide some much needed support and that I can maybe find some peace and clarity here....btw, you ST bloggers are so real, honest, funny, intelligent women and I am happy I got the nerve to sign up. But enough is enough, and I need some help

I already deleted my first giant blog on accident, so this one is short and sweet and to the point. my bf (boyfriend) of almost 2 years has 2 daughters ages 7 and 9 from previous marriage to BM. While BM is a good mom and loves her girls, she is childish, irrational and very moody. My issues are not with her right now and i try really hard (man its hard) for them not to be about her. She is not a part of my life when I have the choice...anyways, that can change in an hour (ps she just had a baby that the girls call "mommy's baby" and just got married too) We just couldnt be anymore different, but enough about BM, she is a whole other story-right now I'd just like some advice or insight on a few other things that directly affect me...

1. bf bought a new house for us and it needs some re-decorating. I own a condo and we do not live together yet, but it's our home that we will god willing raise a family in. of course its his kids home too, but what about all of the tacky, poorly framed, OLD pictures of his kids that he claims to "love" where do they belong? I cannot turn every corner and see them up on the walls...not very homey or comfy or tasteful for that matter. His apt was a different story, I never said a peep about the cheesy pics b/c it's his place, but this house is our, "my" future too.....

2. nighttime visitors....2 reasons it is BAD. 1. they should be in their own bed, esp come a certain age and 2. I WAKE UP and it's so annoying. A plane could land on his chest and he'd stay asleep....

3. The cute little pet names he calls me....And THEM....(etc. baby, honey...)

Thoughts?? these things really wear on me and I don't know if I am being irratioanl/insecure myself. they may not seem major, but I am literally faced with situations I have NO CLUE how to deal with. And it makes me feel ridiculous, misunderstood, and tired (PS I am a guidance counselor for kids, an only child myself from a divorced family, and was never sure I wanted kids myself...so basically I just feel crazy b/c I SHOULD have this in the bag and know how to deal, but I just don't. I can help others (kids/parents) know how to handle life's challenges, but not myself? ughhh

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I know it is hard. The

I know it is hard. The issue it seems lies with your bf. It seems that BM has moved on, and that is a BIG positive.

And you have some very valid points. Yes, the kids should definately be sleeping in their own beds!!! Me and dh have our bed, in which no kids are allowed in our bed. They have their own bed, and a bedtime. Your steps need to have their own beds - ESP. with them being girls!!!!

And the pet names. I do see dads do it to their little girls more often then with boys. Maybe you could talk to him and tell him that you would like a special one just for you.

The pics... Maybe you could tell him that you would like some new ones of them, and maybe you could reframe them. Men generally don't know to take new pics or to reframe. My dh has pics of his kid at age two, and his kid will be 7 this year.

To be honest... it isn't easy!!! I wish someone would have bitch-slapped me with complete honesty and told me - that I would be expected to be around kids every weekend that my DH had with another woman. And on top of this, that other woman is a mean vicious, vindictive troll woman who doesn't like me because I am wife number two, and doesn't like my dh because she is so judgemental. Oh yeah!!! great!!!

1.) Someone has said this

1.) Someone has said this before, but I can't remember who it was. Make him a scrap book with all those pictures in it. That way he will have them when he wants to look at them but you won't have to look at them everytime you turn around.

2.) Wake him up. Make him put them back in their bed's. They do not need to be coming into your room at night. Let him know that this is not okay with you. Or you could have him tell them that if they don't stay in their own bed's at night, then there will be consequences. BUT he has to stick with them, he can't say he is going to do something and then not follow through.

3.) I have no advice for this one. I have the same problem. It's really weird huh? I never know if my SO is talking to me or her. He also call's the dog baby too...

****"She had his past. I have his future." The Lovely Belleboudeuse****

great advice!! The bed thing

great advice!! The bed thing I think is first to improve because I DO wake him up and he puts them right back. There is no rhyme or reason and I understood because it was a new big house, but now it's done. We are having a talk now that I heard back from you guys...thank you! What I didn't mention, or forgot (poor guy) is that bf is fabulous....so I know I can talk to him about this and he will understand b/c I've hit a wall. Now it's just annoying cause I'M the one awake and then I wake him and really the conversation just needs to be had and that will be it. They are pretty good when we lay down rules loud and clear ...and in broad daylight and NOT in the middle of the night haha

love the scrapbook idea and the special pet name (my fricken hilarious friend told me to have it be "sweet tits" can't mistake that one haha. Seems so simple, so why is it so hard? thanks for the honesty...the issue is with him and it has to start with me communicating and not internalizing. I could still use that bitch slap now!!

Everything I am not, makes me who I am

And by fabulous, I DONT mean

And by fabulous, I DONT mean perfect!!!! If that were the case I wouldnt feel so unnerved discussing his kids....just sayin....

so IYO, is better to post blog's for advice or a forum general discussion post?

thanks!!