I know! I see what you guys are saying. But it is so hard. We are both on the lease. My family isn't here, they are in Orlando, 4 hours north of here. I live in south florida. He says that he would "support" whatever decision I made, but support doesn't mean financially support. And he makes it seem like he is such a good guy bc he says shit like, I'm only going to school so I can get a better job for us. So he literally thinks he is the good guy and I'm psycho. Well that and his mom thinks that he is God's gift to mankind and chooses to tell him so all the time. She had the nerve to tell him that she had an abortion and it didn't effect her emotionally which means that I should do it to so he can still focus on his goals. YA RIGHT! HIS GOALS AT MY EXPENSE! Not only that, I'm not a heartless person like she is apparently.

I have worked so hard at keeping my credit okay. I bought my first car when I was 18 and haven't missed one payment yet. I have perfect credit bc I work hard at it. I can't just give all that up bc of him. So if I don't pay his half of the bills, then my credit goes to hell.

Next, if I am a single mom. Look, all of us are on this website bc of how tough it is to be in a relationship with stepfamilies. No matter which way you look at it, it is so much harder to maintain. I would pretty much be giving up any future relationship I could ever have by becoming a single mother. I can't even be excited that I'm pregnant and it sucks. I want to be excited and talk to it and research, but I can't, bc I don't know what's going to happen. I hate this. And you all are right.

Good Idea, thought of it, but he wouldn't be able to afford his half, thats why I'm paying his half too. So even if I sent him my half, it wouldn't do any good bc he couldn't come up with his half. And we can't separate it and send it to the landlord bc that's just silly. So even if I payed my half, he wouldn't pay his so it would still end up effecting my credit. And how am I supposed to leave my fss? I love him. And believe it or not I still love the asshole too. I wish I didn't. Trust me. But at one time he loved me and put me 2nd. I say that bc my fss is always #1 and I have accepted that. Now he's not even #1 anymore. School is. Then its his son, then work, then me and if I decide, the baby. He used to be such a good guy. I just don't get it. How are you supposed to leave someone you love when you have invested so much into them?

Wow ok so let me jump on here and clear the air a little bit. I am the BF if that is the term you all are using on here and this is all quite wonderful information you have been given but here are the facts of the situation because as usual the person who is angry always has a side they want everyone to hear.
She is right when she graduated i did have a full time job doing something i absolutely hated. I was working crazy long hours and the pay wasn't that great. In September they cut the pay in half for the job i was doing and wanted more work to be done with it as well. I had always planned on going back to school and i saw this as the perfect opportunity to do that to not only better life for myself financially, but for her and my son as well.
She looked so hard for 10 months to find a job in her field and stay down here and i paid for her to stay in my old apartment with my shitty roommate who didn't become that way until the end. We moved into a beautiful place and have lived here since September. I know this isn't what she wanted but she told me a long time ago that she would rather stay with me than go to California and that she couldn't bear the thought of being without me. She had a chance to go and she didn't want to. I would have done the same for her.
I had a college fund my parents had set up for me when i was younger. My Ex drained quite a large portion of that and blinded me with a bunch of crap so i ended up spending a good amount of that during my time with her. I wish i could get it back because our financial situation here would be much better.
Yes i am in school full time and it is to make a better life for her and my son. I want nothing more in life than to be with this woman. It is hard with some of these class schedules to get everything going to where i can work a full time job and go to school at night. She and i both agreed that the best thing to do would be to get school done as quickly as possible and in order to do that with decent grades day classes were the best option for me. My beginning college career wasn't that stellar. I screwed around and spent more time partying and smoking weed than i did concentrating on my studies. Since i have been back in school i have a 3.4 GPA and am doing quite well. I am on track to graduate in May which is a year and a month, not a year and a half like she says. With my schedule and limited skills for jobs i have had experience doing cable installations for five years, and being a server. I had a great job serving and my boss was a total jackass and did anything he could to get me fired and did in the end. He just didn't like me. Since then i have found a new job and the money is not that great. We live in a county with 13% unemployment right now and just the fact that i have a job is a blessing.
She had to carry me for a month. That's it. She never paid a cent of my child support and i have never asked her to. I got a tax return check for 2400 dollars, took my child support out of it and put the rest in our account. She took 1400 of that and put it in her own account. Now granted that's money that was to pay her back for helping out and i did spend some money on some stupid things, but this is supposed to be a long haul forever thing and the amount of money she spend on bills and me i put back in to spend on bills and herself. I am not the smartest person when it comes to funds and managing money. I have had a privileged lifestyle and am not used to being broke.
This girl is not an easy person to be with. She will openly admit it to you that she is crazy, and also tell you that i am the only one who can handle her, so as far as everyone saying she can find someone else yeah maybe, but she knows that she needs to change the way she deals with things and i need to make improvements as well. One day she loves me and I'm the only person she ever wants, the next she hates me and can't stand me and wants to leave. I know you are going to say it's the hormones well this has been going on for a while.
I am a guy, we do stupid shit without thinking sometimes and anyone who says otherwise is a dam liar. I am not going to sit here and say i have no faults because i do. I act impulsively, irrationally at times and i have a temper. I am not a piece of shit however and there are so many things i wish i could do for her right now. I want to be able to be the one who provides for her and our baby and my son. I want to be the man and it sucks that i can't right now. She expects miracles in a shitty economy with no degree from me. Yes when i came back down my ex did have the option of staying at home and i worked my ass off doing a blue collar job that i hated. Some of you try going in attics in 100 degree weather for a living and not being compensated properly for it. It loses its appeal trust me.
Her moving up to her parents after the baby was born was her idea. She will need help and she doesn't have the patience to deal with a baby. I will be working and at school and she will need some help and her parents are baby crazy and they would love to help her. It won't be an easy situation right now at all and it will be stressful and tiring and I won't get to see them accept at night when she is already in bed from a long day with our child and the baby is asleep. The way this is supposed to work and the way i want it to work is me working at a good job and being able to come home at a normal hour and spend time with them. So my mother is heartless because she got an abortion? My mom gave up everything and stayed in a shitty marriage with an alcoholic piece of shit to make sure we were all ok. I don't expect my FW to be my mother trust me and she always compares herself to my mom, or to my ex when she is a person all her own with her own qualities and faults that i love. She tells me now she wants to keep the baby and move away and never see me again, right like that is going to help. Regardless of what she tells you she gets overwhelmed and pissed off when my son is being a two year old, which is fun (not!), and the puppy is peeing in the house or pooped in his cage. She has openly admitted to not having any emotional connection with this baby inside of her and told me just 3 days ago she didn't want it and wasn't ready, but now today all of the sudden she wants to keep it again. I have told her all along i will support whatever decision she wants to make. She has cancelled 3 abortion appointments already. Will life be super wonderful with a new baby right now? No it won't. I have two choices. I either go back to work at the only job i can that i hate and make school take a hell of a lot longer by only being limited to a few nights maybe a week which would mean we stayed here longer which we both do not want to do. Or i grind out as many classes as i can, work nights and try to make ends meet as much as i can. I have offered to take out student loans to help us out or anything i can. I am selling things just to give her as much money as i can. I have given her a thousand dollars this month. 300 she put towards the rest of the money owed for the puppy and the other 700 has gone into our bank account. I know it isn't as much as she is making but it certainly isn't nothing. I have to save the rest for the next few days to pay my child support or as we all know i go to jail. So to clear that up she has not paid a dime of my child support EVER!!! nor would i ever ask her to.
Things aren't great right now, she is working a shitty job. Her boss is a dick and makes her stay late and i constantly threatening her job. I want to beat the crap out of him. But it's the only job that pays well and is full time that she has been able to find. We don't get to spend a lot of time together with her work schedule and my school and work schedule. I am only home on Thursday and Saturday nights and both of those nights my son is here and she is either exhausted or we can't even go anywhere to have time for ourselves. I know i have gotten a little stagnant on the romance department lately and i've been stressed out just the same as she has. I feel like a piece of shit since i can't help out as much as i should but all of this will come back in such a great amount once i get this stupid piece of paper and can actually get a job that i am qualified for. She will be the first to tell you i am a very smart person and i have great charisma and abilities. I will be a success and she knows it as well as me. It will just be a little while before it happens. We all make decisions in life and me going back to school was and is the best one for everyone involved. I am not trying to put school ahead of her or my son, but it is important that i go and do the homework and between working late and rarely having time for anything it isn't easy. This is life. You go to work, you come home, you spend time with your family, you go on vacations etc. etc. You may hate your boss but unless something better comes along you suck it up and go with it and do the best you can. I hate this job she has especially with her being pregnant but it is the only one she has found.
Look I'm sure you guys can all formulate your own opinions on this matter and most of you will side with her, that's fine. I'm not asking for you to jump ship all I'm saying is that this is a little convoluted and there are so many more details that i can't even go into right now. I have come home on a break from school to take the dog for a walk, change into business attire for a presentation today at school then i go straight from school to work until probably 10 tonight. So life isn't that great for me either. But it is life and you do what you have to do. I wish i could fix all of this. I wish i still had some money left over to make this transition in our life easier. If she leaves she is leaving someone who loves her deeply, wants to make the best life he can for her, and she is also leaving a little boy who adores her and though he may not listen all that well, he will still have known her pretty much his entire life from memory and look to her as a friend and parental figure. I wish my life was simpler. I wish my sons BM wasn't such a bitch and i wish my fiance would just calm down a little bit and realize that this is going to be give and take. She has to give more right now than she wants, i am willing to give all that i can as soon as i am able. That's how a marriage works. You have each other's back no matter what.
I hope she stays because having a child is hard enough but making the decision to have that child be in a split home is even harder. I am going to be that child's father if she keeps it no matter where she goes. I will not sign a dam thing saying i don't want rights and i will live in a box if i have to in order to pay for it. But there is an ideal situation here and that is putting aside anger for an inconvenient situation at this time and realizing that there are two people who still love each other and need each other. Regardless of what she says she loves me and every time she would look at our child she would second guess what she did. Especially when six months after it is born, i will be on my way to a better future without all of this bullshit to go with it. I hope everyone has a good day and please make your comments.
P.S. sorry if this is scatterbrained but I'm a little pissed off right now and i don't have time to proofread and organize. What else is new, there is no time for much of anything these days. Yay life!

she leaves it posted up on her computer.

See what I mean about making himself seem like the good guy?

I just just got home from work and read this. Let me clarify a few things on his story.

1. When he "paid for me to stay in his apt." it was for 3 months. And the rent was split 3 ways so you can imagine how small that was.

2. I can handle a baby and I do have the patience. I would develop the patience, that's what first time moms do. BUT... I can't handle having a baby and working a full time job.

3. He has never said anything about me being "overwhelmed and pissed off" with his son. This is the first time I have ever heard of it. I tell him when he does and doesn't listen to me when my fiance isn't home. Because I feel that is something he needs to know. Yes I get stressed out, but who wouldn't? in fact, he does it more than me. I have done it like twice. The last time is because I spent $100 on tickets to go see disney live for my FSS. He freaked out when we left (as expected). But he freaked out the whole way home too. Yes, I was stressed and disappointed that he couldn't see the good in the situation and decided to scream bloody murder the whole way home. NOW.. looking back, I get it. He's two. What else would you expect? But in the moment, YES it is stressful and disappointing.

4. It has not just been one month that I have had to carry him. He isn't making that much money now and he plans on staying in this job for a while.

5. And yes, going home was my idea, because the only people who are excited about my baby right now is my family. I can't get excited. I have the father telling me how terrible it's going to be all the time. Who could get excited with that?

6. I can't get attached because I had a miscarriage less than a year ago and that baby was my everything. I only knew for one week. I found out I was pregnant 3 days before I graduated. Then I lost is 3 days after I graduated. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and I was depressed for... well, come to think of it, I'm still not over it. Which is one of the reasons I fell like I can't get attached.

Overall, I am really upset that he wont even try to man up. He is making excuses before he even tries. Thats what he does. There is an excuse for everything and I'm just plain sick and tired of it.

I actually just minimized the tab. Not so smart. But I'm kinda glad he read it bc now he knows how I feel.