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Why, Why, Why?

M.Kabe's picture

Submitted by M.Kabe on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 6:50pm

I had such a wonderful weekend 'cause the step kids were with their mom. It's so messed up because of the little brat, this weekend was the first time EVER that I got to slow dance with my husband.
it was so wonderful and now they are back and things are back to normal. everything being annoying. the brat crying and screaming for everything. I wish that I could make him see how it really is.
how bratty she is, what an attention whore she is. he says he sees it but he does nothing about it.
I hate being around her. the boys are fine sometimes. they are much better than her. the girl just takes after her real mother too much. they could have been twins. actually its more like a reincarnation. sometimes the girl is nice for moments and then the evil bitch breaks out.
she's only nice to people who give her stuff. I feel like I hate her. I feel like I can never love her as my own. I am to the point that I don't even want to try with her anymore. I just want to have my own daughter. I wish I would get pregnant. I want my own kid. someone who would really love me and not only come to me when they need something. me and my husband can't do anything fun because of them. and his stupid niece wont babysit anymore. his family just wants and wants and wants but wont give. I can count on one hand how many times me and my husband got to go out and have real fun with out whining and bitching and attention whore being bitch.
I have a smile on my face all day when they are gone. then I am all mad when they are here because I can't have 5 minutes alone to talk to my husband. how can I make things change? do I just have to wait it out? there is no time to wait it out. my husband is going to die soon and I wont ever have enough time. 1 day alone with him is not enough. I wish they made it that the birth mother could have the kids and they would come over every other weekend. but no its not like that. it sucks.
It wouldn't be so bad if i actually had friends, but I don't. I don't have anyone here to talk to.
all I need is one friend in this town, just one and I'd be fine.

Comments

Kb3Hooah's picture

Submitted by Kb3Hooah on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 7:01pm

Couple of questions just to get more insight on your situation.

Do you think your anger for your SD stems from the fact that you don't have your own child, or could it also stem from relating her so much to her Mother?

How old are the skids?

How long have you and DH been married, and is he terminally ill?

______________________________________
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

M.Kabe's picture

Submitted by M.Kabe on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 2:56pm

I don;t think it has anything to do with the fact that they are sk and I want my own, nor the fact that she's like her bm. to tell you the truth at first I didn't want kids. now I just want a kid so I could feel like someone loves me like a real mom. I want to be able to do things with my kid that my SK wont allow me to do. I want to have a daughter who will let me play with her and dress her nicely and do her hair in cute ways.
my husband was hurt at his job. his lungs were chemically burned we've been married for almost a year. we've been together for 4 yrs

Constantly_guilty's picture

Submitted by Constantly_guilty on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 7:08pm

I would ask the same. How old is your SD and what percentage of custody does DH have? It sounds like a lot.

Constantly_guilty's picture

Submitted by Constantly_guilty on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 3:22pm

Wait. You've been with your DH for four years and he has a four year old? That's gotta be tough. Sounds like there would be some weird dynamics and potential for discomfort on all sides.

newlymarried's picture

Submitted by newlymarried on Mon, 03/22/2010 - 7:18pm

I can honestly say that i know how you feel. My husband has a son from a previous marriage and I feel the same way sometimes. It is really hard being in a relationship with someone who has a child from a previous relationship. Especially when the child is a spoiled brat. You have to take time for you and your husband. Even if its putting the kids in a seperate room while the two of you cuddle up an watch a movie. I even understand the whole thing about not having friends. I socialize with my husband,kids and my mom. Being a stepparent is more complicated than i could have ever imagined, but because you love your husband you have to find ways to deal with what comes along with him. It would be so easy if we could just erase everything from their past,but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Because seriously i would erase the last 6 years of his life before he met me if I could. Because his son is just like his ex-wife, a whiny helpless brat. I love my ss but i can't handle the neediness and crying all the time. so do like i have recently started doing, i have stepped away and let him fend for himself and let his dad take care of him some. after all i am not his mother i am his stepmom and thats the role i plan on playing.it may do you some good

coySM's picture

Submitted by coySM on Tue, 03/23/2010 - 12:09pm

gosh I'm so sorry you are in so much pain! I agree with Tammy; maybe DH isn't doing enough parenting? or maybe you aren't? that was my problem; if something skids were doing was pissing me off I wouldn't do much. I just figured DH was ok with what they were doing. now I step up and say please stop doing that or I tell them what I want them to do(go watch a movie in your room while dad and I talk) it also might be the age and gender. when my SD was younger she was so annoying. now she is not bad and SS is the annoying one at that annoying age. I truly hope you feel better soon.