Like clock work the previsitation idiot virus has flared up in my Son (SS-17).

Sleeping through his alarm. Missing school. Failing to turn in assignments. Getting lippy with his Mom and I. Not doing his chores. Not doing his laundry. Not showering or effectivly cleaning himself. Etc ..........................

He starts this crap exactly 3wks before each and every SpermClan visitation. He has been doing it since he was 1yo (age appropriately of course). Grrrrrr!

This time we have changed our tactics on how we are dealing with it. When we find a Skidiot Virus issue we hammer it immediately and hard.

Mom and Dad: "DO YOUR CHORES NOW!" and we make him do them to completion rather than the half assed effort we usually get out of him.

Mom and Dad: "Get your lazy butt back to school and turn in your assignements NOW!.."

Skid: "But it my teacher is not at school"

Mom and Dad "The school is unlocked until 7Pm for sports practice. March your lazy butt back to school and slide your homework under his classroom door!"

Mom and Dad: "Our whole house smells like your sweaty socks. GO DO YOUR LAUNDRY IMMEDIATELY!"

Mean while, two days later and back at the stinky house.

Skid: "Dad can I talk to you?"

Me: "Sure"

Skid: "Dad, there is something wrong with my, ummmmmm, m, ummmmm my parts"

Me: "What are you talking about son?"

Skid: "Umm, my nutts hurt and the skin is all dry and pealing on top and red and weepy underneath. And my whole body itches."

Me: "Have you washed your clothes or are you wearing dirty clothes".

Skid: "Daaaaad! I have washed my clothes".

Me: "Uh huh .... sure you have. Take off your underwear and let me see them."

Skid: "Daaad! I don't want to take off my underwear"

Sheepishly dropping trou and giving me his underwear as I give him THE look while holding out my hand for his underwear.

Me: "Son, these are very dirty and if you get them too close to your face you will notice two very distict odors. What do you smell?"

Skid: "They stink and, ummm, I think they smell like Lysol too."

Me: "Your Mother told you to clean your room and do your laundry. If I had to guess, she probably hosed down your bed and dirty clothes pile with Lysol so that the house would stop smelling like your dirty sox and underwear. Lysol in your underwear that is in contact with your scrotum would explain the painful rash son."

Me: "So, when you told me that you were not rewearing dirty clothes that really was not the truth was it?"

Skid: "Daaaaaaaaad!"

...........

So far the symptoms of Skidiot Virus are:

1. Forgetting how to use the toilet because your SpermClan is too damned lazy to take you to the toilet when you need to go and would rather put you back in diapers that you have not had to wear fo 6mos. This usually affects the 2.5-5yo Skid demographic.

2. Not following instructions on safe bicycle use resulting in smashing your front teeth out of your head because your BioDad told you that only woosies wear helmets or worried about those things when riding bikes.

..................................................

257. Painful testicular rash.

258. Extremely unpleasant odor in the living space of the Skidiot sufferer that when left unresolved can permeate an entire house.

Next intallment:

Fun with post visitation detox. Another three weeks of hell during the Skidiot Virus recovery cycle.

Best regards,