I let FH get the skids ready for school this morning and it ended up being a disaster...
So, FH doesn't think I do anything all day even though I get his kids off to school, make their lunches, clean the house EVERY day, take care of the dogs, do everyone's laundry, make dinner every night, truck skids around for sports or after school and do outside work, run errands, grocery shop and make sure the bills are paid. So, FH was home this morning when skids got up and went to school so I decided I'll let him deal with the morning routine including dealing with the skids arguing and all... So, I got to sleep in till 9:30am till I had to take FFH to pick up his work vehicle. When I got up I just asked the normal questions any BM, SM or guardian would ask...did they get off to school on time, get their lunch, backpack, homework, etc. Well, apparently FH sent his son to school WITHOUT a sandwich (which by the way FH KNOWS I make a lunch the night before) and without a juice box for lunch! So, on the way to taking FH to get his work vehicle we drop off the rest of SS lunch at the school and as FH is getting out of the truck he asks me what SS's teacher's name is... ARE YOU SERIOUS is all I can think because apparently it's 25% to 75% parenting with us so I would think that a BD would know his own son's teacher's name and actually in the first place check to make sure the kid's lunch is packed properly! I actually had to tell FH what SS's teacher's name was....now why would I know that?!?? Because I care too much and keep up with their schooling and activities?!?! Yet, I don't do anyrhing during the day? Why are men so clueless sometimes? They think they don't need a woman but apparently they do...his son wouldn't have had a sandwich or drink for lunch today if I hadn't questioned it!
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I don't think they're
I don't think they're clueless. I think they just don't appreciate what is being done. I don't see how a man can not know, because he knows HE'S not the one doing it. He knows his life would be a lot more complicated if he had to do these things himself. I'm convinced my DH just feels like it should be natural for me to do to these things, and I'm supposed to like it so it's not work to him, it's leisure.
You need to disengage
I used to get the skids and my son off to school. I now stay in my bedroom and just use the intercom to ask two questions. Did you eat something and did you make your bed? That is it. I ask for them to yell up when they are leaving for the bus. When I was getting up with them, it was all arguing. Now no arguing and they are probably lying to me about the questions, but I don't care. It is working and it is helping me start my day off right. If they forget their lunch which happens a lot, I won't take it to school. That is their problem. I am not their mom. My son - yes, he is my responsibility. Fortunately, he doesn't forget anything and prefers I stay out of his way. If they need something, my answer is call your dad. Let him deal with it. It is working about 85% of the time now and my stress level has diminished.
He recently got up with them and they (his kids) missed the bus that day. Now since he drove them to school, he is more aware of what the mornings were like for me. Hysterical.