Step-demon once again pulled the wool over my trusting eyes. And this time I really wanted to believe in her ability to change and feel remorse. I'm an idiot, a fool and so damn dumb. I was even ready to come up with a nice nick-name for her here on ST because of her actions over the last few visits.

And I'm a fool for believing in DH and his ability to get past his stubbornness and selfishness. His inability to show me an ounce of kindness or to swallow his pride long enough to apologize for his bad behavior is deeply disappointing. Instead I'm to accept his harsh words, lame excuses and allow him to jam a knife in my heart because he doesn't beat me, lie to me, cheat on me or drink.

When I said goodnight to step-demon (sd14) last night, I told her I would be home early from work and thought it would be fun to bake some cookies to take with us when we went to go see the Christmas light display across town. I was so excited to do something fun for once with her, especially after all of the hurt and anger of the last few years. Finally, we would have fun together. My excitement quickly deflated with the following words.......

"I'm not going with you guys tomorrow. I don't want to see the lights or hang out with my cousins. Me and my mom (UberSkank) planned Grandma's birthday party for tomorrow night, so mom's picking me up in the morning."

The visitation schedule for Christmas was from the first day of winter break until 7pm on Christmas Eve. She'd be leaving a day early, while were both at work. I asked her if her father knew about this and she said "Yeah, I told him what I would be doing when he got home."

I cannot get over this turn of events. I want to strangle both of these people. After all the heartache and turmoil from the last two years, I cannot believe the only thing DH and step-demon learned to do is hurt the people they claim to love.

I was so excited about the way things went over the weekend and what I thought was real progress in our relationship with step-demon. I truly believed there was real change going on for all three of us and that we were putting the past behind us. I was so very, very wrong.

My Christmas present to myself this year is change for me and ambivalence. If the two of them want to destroy their relationship and each other....then they can fricking have at it. I won't stop them and I no longer give a crap what happens. I have decided that three long years of tears, frustration and heartache are quite enough thank you very much.

The change - I'm going to free myself from this miserable family unit. They can have it. I was much happier when I was single.

Merry Christmas to all of the STers. I appreciate your support this last year and I wish you all of the best.