Then SD16 tells me BM is thinking of coming to Canada next Christmas. She is currently living in Italy. SD hasn't seen BM for over a year now as BM can't afford the airfare and/or time - despite the profit she made from the sale of her house - apparently she needs that for new house etc.

She is talking of renting a cottage nearby.

I just said that it would be cheaper for her to pay for SD to visit her.

The last time I said much to BM was to yell down the phone that I was sick of spending my money on her kids while she spent hers on cosmetic surgery. That outburst got a little more pocket money for the kids, but not much. We don't get anything for their keep.

I struggle enough with the skids. The thought of having to face BM fills me with such anger that I feel like inviting an ex boyfriend over for an all expenses paid holiday with us at the same time. Although I will probably just fly off to my parents in England for the duration and leave them all to play happy families in my home - not sure if that would work - to come back to the thought of her having been around.

Yes, I'm extremely resentful towards BM for quite a few reasons. I haven't mentioned it to DH yet. I've heard him tell the skids to invite their mum over. I never thought she'd take him up on it, so never pulled him up about it - he invites everyone over.

It's a year away, so really I shouldn't worry. Then again, if I do nothing and I end up with a horrible situation, maybe I will regret having just left it.

Any suggestions?