I would let your BF send it. From my experience, schools are usually very reluctant to discuss children with non-bios (even married step parents). I personally see no issue with boundaries but they will probably not discuss the child with you even if you try.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

If your spouse is interested in this information then he should request it. Girlfriends, fiances, and even stepmoms generally have no legal rights to school information. If your spouse want to gain that information he can share it with you or give you his log in.

No, you shouldn't send the email. This is a battle for your fiance to fight, not you. Although your fiance has legal rights to this information, YOU do not. Sorry, but this would be a huge overstep.

Let the BF or the courts deal with this.

“Every truth has two sides; it is as well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either”~Aesop

SD's school has that same system. TheFrizz emailed her login to us but then once I praised SD for her awesome grades as in, "OMG SD I was online today and saw your grades and you are kicking butt girlfriend!!"
Then SD went home and likely said something similar to this, "Mom Barbie saw my grades and told me I was doing really good!! isn't that cool??"

Then the next time I went to login, the password was changed and I couldn't get access anymore. So I had DH email the teacher for our own. And I STILL praise SD for her kickass grades.

I wouldn't send the email personally. I'd let the father do it.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland

Let your FH send the email to the teacher. My FH introduced me to SS9's teacher during the open house before school started, and he told her that I mostly oversee SS9's and my DD11's school stuff. He told her to not be surprised to see emails from me. Even at that, there are some emails that I insist that FH send. I'll email the teacher about upcoming absences or doctor's appointments but school related, homework and progress stuff, I insist the FH initiate email correspondence.

I would let you FH send the email. he can share the log in info with you but he should be the one communicating with the teachers. This will eliminate many issues..

I think that BF should definitely send the email but then like Katrinkie said, you'll be able to monitor it with the login and password. Coming from a family of teachers, I can tell you that it's hard enough for the teacher to deal with 2 parents when the parents are divorced, 2 report cards, 2 conferences, etc. It would confuse the issue to have anyone but the biological parents dealing directly with the teacher.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

Ours is a strange scenerio. There was a time when the skids were in my care and DH was working on the road. I had to deal with school stuff, so the school told me to get a notarized affidavit from DH naming me as a guardian which I did and they have on file. So I go in and do whatever needs to be done schoolwise. Also, we live in a small town and I know the technology coordinator so when our schools brought the Internet gradebook online, I just emailed her and got the login and password. DH and BM have never been on it or shown interest. I fill DH in on what I find there.

If the school does not have permission to release info to you from a bioparent don't ask them for it. Have DH send the email, but you'll be able to use it.

If you want to be more involved than that, talk to your FH and see what is required for the schools to give you more access.