Can't handle it anymore!!!
My husband and I have been together for almost 13 years. We have a 9,6 & 3 year old together and he has a daughter who will be 15 in 1 1/2 months. I cannot stand my SD who has lived with us for the last 3 years. Her BM and SDad, along with their 3 children live in another state. She argues all the time with my children and has even left marks on my 6 year old when she either pushed her or drug her out of her room. She is lazy, sneeky and thinks she has it all. She is very developed for her age and likes to walk around in tank tops with them almost hanging out. I don't think that is appropriate for her to wear especially around her dad. She seems to have to have all of his attention and will but in when he is playing with one of our children. I could go on and on about her, but I am new to this site so I think this will do for now. I am to the point that I don't know what to do. I was honestly put on anti-depressants 4 high blood pressure and I know the exact reason why. There are days that I don't even want to go home.
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welcome to the site honey...
welcome to the site honey... sounds like your SD could use to teen bootcamp. I can completely see why you would have blood pressure and depression issues with a child like that in your home. Why didn't she move with BM? What does your husband say about these things mainly what does he say about the marks on your 6yr old?? I'm really sorry you're having a hard time...15yr olds are tough to begin with but this one sounds like her own special brand of pain in the butt.
~Why run away? I know who I am...you know who I am. Just let me be~
This child is not worth
This child is not worth ruining your health over.
Purpleflower
First of all welcome to the
First of all welcome to the site...... There is a group of great stepparents here. and then I second barbie on her comments.
I think teenagers are difficult sometimes at best. Maybe there needs to be some stiff consequences for her actions....like taking away recreation, phone, cell phone, tv, computer until she learns how to be a part of the family and not disruptive.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
She doesnt have to love you
She doesnt have to love you or even like you but she WILL respect you. talk to your hubby.....and with the shirt thing...my mother told me somethin wonderful.."you are too pretty and have a cute body and when you dress like that it will give unwanted attention, so cover it up a little bit or try some layers.
We as mothers can complain
We as mothers can complain all we want but in the end its your dh that needs to take a stand or you give him the ultimatum.
If i were personally on antidepressants and dint' want to come home and ESpecially her leaving physical marks on a 6 year old i would tell my dh, get her out , make other arrangments or leave with her so i can raise the other 3 in my peace and quiet.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your insight and relating to the situation. I have told her many times to pack her bags and get out. As for the marks on my 6 year old, her and my SD fight the most. My 6 year old can be a little sassy pants and just agitate, but she is 6. He really didn't say anything. I told my SD that if I ever saw marks on my 6 year old, that it would be the last time she left anything on anyone. When I do ask her to do something, I am told I am picking on her. If she wants to live in my house, she will do more that eat and sleep there. I can somewhat see where she is coming from. She had just turned 2 when her dad and I got together. Her mom was 17 when she had her. She has never seen her mom and dad together or them as a family. She has been moved around quite a few times and really didn't have any stability. Then she only came to our house on the weekends, but there was almost a year where she did live with us. I pretty much raised her. She was with me all the time. Moving out of state was just to big of a move. I too should have listened to my dad when he didn't want me to get involved with a man who had a child. I love him and he has been sick for the last year, so that too puts a damper on things. She plays all of us against each other. Good thing Thanksgiving is coming up. I will have a little break from her for a week.
Yes, I do get those
Yes, I do get those responsed. Especially that I am being too hard on her and that I am picking on her. I think the reason he is like that is because he is afraid that she will go live with her mom.
I am so sorry you are going
I am so sorry you are going through this...however, please keep in mind that provided your husband is a good father to YOUR CHILDREN, she should not destroy that and you should NOT let her destroy that. Eventually, she'll be out of the house...
I would make very specific rules and if she dares touch your kids, I would send her to her room or tell my DH that I was calling CPS, the cops or whatever because of her abuse of the other children.
As far as the clothes she wears, I went through something similar when my DH would see his daughter...she was only 9-10 at the time, but VERY developed and it's almost like their moms make them think that they have to "seduce" their fathers...it is just plain SICK...It made me very uncomfortable...She would sit by my husband to watch TV, and next thing I knew she was rubbing his chest...WTF??? He would of course tell her to stop, but it always seemed that she was trying to be his "girlfriend"...it is just plain sick...I put a stop to it quickly and so did my DH.
There MUST be rules in your house. If you do not agree with how she dresses, you need to speak up and your DH needs to back you up...but at the end of the day, know that she'll eventually leave and you will have your family back...
Not only is the tops she
Not only is the tops she wears a little too revealing, but a little embarassing when any of my family members come over. I don't wear those tops and I am 32. I do believe it is how her mom let her dress and I have seen some ot the tops that her mom also wears.
Its scary to see children
Its scary to see children act like people that children should not even see without parental guidence. It is a hard thing to deal with and I know how mad you can get thinking about it. I am a reserve officer in the Canadian military and because of dumbass BM I have had to walk around town with a daughter with bright pink hair. Very embaressing. I've attended swimming lessons where her hair has been styled into a mohawk because its "cute". These kids/teens are in a dangerous situation. They are very impressionable and will do what they can to be like some one they admire. The worse part about it is the fact that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing you can do. You can try to enforce a dress code in your house but it will just cause more drama. I would suggest just trying to ignore it. Its not your fault, and if anyone says anything to you, tell them that.
PS - about the clothes deal,
PS - about the clothes deal, we eventually did get tired of the hoochie clothes...we got her 3 outfits for our house...a nice dress (a couple of sizes big, but dresses are great cause it takes a while to outgrow one), a pair of shorts w/t shirt...again, big baggy cheap t-shirt elastic waist/shorts and big t-shirt, and a pair of jeans w/sweater...
NEVER did we go out with her anywhere unless she came over in decent clothes...in the unfortunate occassion we had a party or family gathering, etc...she had to wear something from our house (we picked) or we just would not go...period.