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The end is almost here..I think..

overit4tenyrs's picture

Submitted by overit4tenyrs on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 2:20pm

I have posted on this topic before but now we are down to the wire. So SD17 turns eighteen in six weeks. I think DH and I need to sit down with SD17 and have serious conversation letting her know that time is up. If we don't, I can just see her saying, well you didn't let me know etc etc and she will go nowhere and it will drag on and on. She has told BM that she wants to graduate with her BF, so she is trying to butter up DH into letting her stay until graduation. Meanwhile MIL has already told her to come live with her and she would buy her a car. With everything that has happened (I have posted before) I have no intention of letting her stay until graduation. Why should I give her the convenience of graduating with her BF and be expected to foot the bill for Prom, Graduation and all this crap in between. DH still has no job, so we are talking completely footing the bill myself. BM refuses to pay anything as well because she wants SD17 to get responsible. SD17 recently got a job but uses the money strictly to load up cell phone so she can talk to BF. Even knowing the financial situation at home, she has not offered to help at all. Much less my sanity! I have had enough! So what do I do if DH says no, he wants to let her stay until graduation? I don't want to give him an ultimatum...BUT I am sick and tired of the chaos SD17 creates in our home by involving BM, MIL and DH...every time she doesn't get her way. I have two biokids of my own to worry about. What about if I let her stay until end of semester before winter break (one week after birthday)? This will allow her to still obtain all credits if she changes schools and look like I am at least giving in on something. What do you guys think?

Comments

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 2:31pm

I don't think SD is the problem, I think DH is by allowing her to do that.

If I was back in high school and my grandmother offered to let me live with her, I'd take her up on it. I do think she needs to complete her education. She's down to the wire too as she's a senior. Does MIL live in your area? Even if she doesn't, I think SD can still go to her current school as long as she has 1 parent living in the school district.

ChaiLatte's picture

Submitted by ChaiLatte on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 2:50pm

Hi OverIt,

BM may be onto something here. She is refusing to pay so SD will become more responsible. Maybe you should do the same. If she has a job, she can pay for graduation, prom, etc. If DH doesn't like that, he can get a job and foot the bill. Doesn't seem like he has much of a choice though, since he's not working. You have the right to refuse to pay for their lifestyle.

buttercup123's picture

Submitted by buttercup123 on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 5:28pm

Agreed with ChaiLatte. DH can either get a job and foot the bill but you shouldn't have to. Not if SD is a pain and disrespects you.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Mon, 11/02/2009 - 11:29pm

What are the CS rules in your state? If it's like Texas, where you have to pay until 18 OR until they graduate highschool, whichever is LATER, I think you will end up with a bigger issue...if it's 18 and that's it, well, I would also tell her to get out...just know, your DH will probably be ticked off...which he can then find himself ANY job, babysitting, cleaning toilets, whatever it takes to support his own daughter after she's 18...