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Now that we've come to the end of the road...

overit4tenyrs's picture

So yesterday SD17 tells DH that she is moving in with grandma when she graduates from high school in June becasue she can't handle our rules, we are horrible etc. DH and I already agreed that SD17 would move out when she turned 18 in December, so I was confused. Now he is pretending we never had that conversation, even though we had it MANY times. I just want my house back, our lives back etc. I am so sick of putting up with SD17's bs and her influencing the younger ones. I even asked DH if that meant we were just supposed to put up with the disrespect, lying etc... He asked me what he was supposed to do, I cant ground her he says, I cant take anything away blah blah blah. (Ya right...if that was my kid)

So honestly I need you guys opinion. Do I tough this out for another six additional months until she graduates high school or do I stand my ground and demand she move out when she turns 18 in December?

FYI - BM will not take her, already had that conversation and she refuses.

Comments

arbiecat's picture

I doubt if your dh is legally bound to support his child until they graduate from high school but I feel a parent is morally bound to support their child until graduation. I believe this is why most Child Support orders are up to age 18 (OR) until after the child graduates from school. You may want to check into your local laws in your area. I know a child is allowed to move out of their parents home at age 18 but I'm not sure if a parent can force them out or not. My dh would never stand for me stamping my feet and forcing his child out of the home. My SS was actually 19 wen he graduated from high school. I was sad to see him go at that point, lol. My dh is a wonderful father and his kids are great kids.

arbiecat's picture

I doubt if your dh is legally bound to support his child until they graduate from high school but I feel a parent is morally bound to support their child until graduation. I believe this is why most Child Support orders are up to age 18 (OR) until after the child graduates from school. You may want to check into your local laws in your area. I know a child is allowed to move out of their parents home at age 18 but I'm not sure if a parent can force them out or not. My dh would never stand for me stamping my feet and forcing his child out of the home. My SS was actually 19 wen he graduated from high school. I was sad to see him go at that point, lol. My dh is a wonderful father and his kids are great kids.

Constantly_guilty's picture

If she has a plan to move out at the end of the school year then you have a light at the end of the tunnel. You'll always be the bad guy in her eyes and possibly in your husband's eyes if you force the issue. I could understand forcing it if she graduated and still wasn't leaving but like I said there's an end in sight.

Totalybogus's picture

You have to live in this situation as well. I would demand she move out if she is not respecting the house rules or the people in it. Once she is 18 she is legally considered an adult. If she wants to park her legs under your kitchen table after that, then she has to tow the line. Since this topic has come up, if I were you, I would tell your husband now so he is not blindsided. However, he will still be responsible for her financially until she graduates in most states. Call your local bar association and ask what your specific state child support obligation is.

Conflicted's picture

I agree with Totallybogus.... if she cannot respect you and the house rules then as soon as she turns 18 I'd tell her to move the F out! I'm sorry but when I refused to abide by my parent's rules and refused to respect them in their home (my parent's are both bio btw.... still married to this day).... they kicked my ass out! I think the rules are so grossly stretched in step families because no one wants to be the bad guy.... I think that if this were a family with both bio's the kid would be told to show respect or get out!

overit4tenyrs's picture

Funny you guys mention the child support obligation...we get the child support by court order until she graduates from high school or becomes married emancipated etc...so I seriously am wondering if this is one of the reasons DH is holding on...TACKY I know but I said it! DH lost his job earlier this year so has no income but unemployment and things are tight. I am really thinking he just wants the mula for another 6 months! SAD Sad