Am I wrong???
Need opinions, I'm a little confused with BM. DH and I register (with consent from BM)SD for softball. At the time BM's work hours were 3pm-11pm which made it impossible for her to transport SD to and from games, we totally understood, therefore SM and DH not only offer to provide transportation (it would be me most of the time, my schedule is the most flexible), equipment and cost for everything pertaining to softball. Before the 1st game BM changed jobs. She now works 7am-3pm. Games are once a week and after 6pm. BM's new job is literally 2 min from her hm. She get's hm around 10 after 3 now. Being her schedule is now compatible with SD's softball games SM and DH has asked if we can meet her there with SD at ball field. Is that wrong being initially we offered because of her schedule at the time? BM and SD are in a band, they practice once a week, which is great! But why does BM not want to go to or take SD to 1 softball game a week??? BM and SD don't ever miss band practice!!!!!
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I've just had it! Honestly,
I've just had it! Honestly, I was the one that suggested softball. When hubby and I talked about it, I called BM to suggest it. She was thrilled telling me it was a great idea, she and her hubby wanted to get SD in softball however, their schedules at the time prevented it, in which we understood. She even bought SD all the softball stuff, which I give her credit for that, she didn't have to buy the stuff being we had offered, but she did. The 1st 2 games, BM was there. By the 3rd,I guess she was bored with it???? Same thing when SD was in soccer 2 years ago. BM was there for the 1st few games, by the way SHE put SD in soccer, after the 1st few games, she started asking one of us every time to bring SD and never attended another game. I don't want SD to miss out because BM won't bring her. I guess I'm just gonna have to "suck it up" and be there for SD. I just hate it when BM makes excuses especially when I have had to cancel my own child's events, etc. I'm blessed to have a D who tells me "mom, don't worry.... she loves her SS so much and is willing to put her first! I have such a wonderful, thoughtful caring daughter! I'm thankful for that but as a mom and sm, how do you choose? I love them both the same and it's ashamed BM doesn't care not only for her own, but that I have sometimes had to "put off" my own child for whatever "lame" excuse she pulls this time around!
"I just hate it when BM
"I just hate it when BM makes excuses especially when I have had to cancel my own child's events, etc."
This bothers me. Don't miss your own kids stuff. Have DH take her or tell BM she will need to or SD will miss the game.
BM here HATES sports and
BM here HATES sports and pretty much any other extra-curricular activity SDs are in. DH and I have driven hours and hours to attend SDs activites but BM cannot bother to drive 15 minutes when SHE has custody.... I will simply never understand what kind of parent doesn't want their kid to have a life!
She probably thinks this is
She probably thinks this is your twos deal--you wanted to sign her up, take her and pay. If it is that close what is the big deal to pick SD up, if you are going anyway?
I could see if you couldn't make it one week and BM refused to do it--then I would understand your frustration.
initially, BM was all for
initially, BM was all for softball and wanted to be involved. As I said before, after the first few games, she showed no more interest.... My problem is this: why doesn't BM want to be involved in SD activities? Maybe I'm different. My ex and I NEVER asked someone else to take OUR kids to games! But then again, we understood our role and responsibility as parents and actually WANTED TO BE INVOLVED!!!!BM puts her own self first, if we couldn't fill in, she would tell SD no!!!! She's done it before...
OK so it was a joint
OK so it was a joint decision then. I think she should be responsible for half the driving, whether or not she attends is on her. I hate it when parents are uninvolved with the activities....she sounds self centered.
And if I say "no" your BM
And if I say "no" your BM can bring you, BM will not, this happend to SD last week. I rescheduled my childs appointment because SD started crying because BM would not take her! What should I do??? What if the time comes when I cant reschedule my childs events??? I can't choose but I can't be in 2 places at once either!!! What's the right thing to do????
IDK. Either way a child is
IDK. Either way a child is hurt. This is BMs fault and she is the only one that can fix this issue. Even though I can tell from your statements she doesn't give a darn....
Some moms on here would say "you have a responsiblity to YOUR children, not DHs"
Some moms that are like you (myself included) would say " the psycho, self centered POS now I am put in a position to choose. SDs are like my own!"
I think you are backed into a corner.....maybe let SD know and Bkids now that they are all important to you and if it comes down to it you will switch every other time. To be fair. I would sit them down together to be sure there are no hurt feelings. Thats what I would do, I guess.