BM WANTS TO CHANGE HOLIDAY SCHEDULE**I COULD SCREAM!!
Well my last blog was about 5 weeks ago with the whole BM being jealous over SD calling me MOM and her MOMMY. Hmmm....
Anyway, now we have another issue.... Seems like once a month....
BM sent an email this morning with a new Holiday schedule attached. We have a LEGALIZED holiday schedule in the papers that were finalized with the courts almost 5 years ago. Do we always stick to this papers?? NO. We have worked it out amongst ourselves and when I say that I mean BM having every Christmas and Thanksgiving morning until 2:30 etc since. We are to rotate holiday mornings and have yet to do so being BM feels that SD is to be with her. Ok. We have not had a problem and have just worked around what BM has wanted being SD will be put on a guilt trip or the emotional rollercoaster from BM depending on the day, time and which personality BM has coming out that day. It is horrible! Now she sends us this stupid little schedule she has made up and wants my husband to sign it along with her this weekend when we pick SD up.
Basically she is making sure that Christmas and Thanksgiving morings are hers. I really could just scream. I want so bad to say "You are an idiot!" Oh and that is being nice. Why is it that all the sudden there is some stupid little schedule to sign that she has made up when there has never been an issue in the past? What is the problem!!! I am so over the petty crap and am waiting on the day SD turns 12. Gosh there are 7 long years to go! I pray this mess will get better and not worse.
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Well.......for the first
Well.......for the first line, I support my son having a relationship with his step mom. I do, I hope it's great and she's a parent to him. I don't want him to call her mom though, even if he is comfortable with it. He doesn't call DH dad, and if he asked to we'd tell him no out of respect to his dad. But that's just us and how we roll!
Next....what in the hell is wrong with the BM about the schedule? Seriously, why act crazy now. There must be something up.......does she have a new BF and don't want you guys to know? Something is underlying here.
And why do you say you can't wait until shes 12?
As for the "mom" issue, BM
As for the "mom" issue, BM was fine with it, then almost a year later she has a problem with it. Why I don't know, I guess simple insecurities. We have told SD she can call me whatever she wants, my name, mom, scooby doo if she wants. She still calls me mom and my DH and I can't see demeaning SD and making her uncomfortable when that is something she has done on a regular basis and decided to do on her own. My DH has no problem with SD calling her stepdad "dad". Stepdad is there for her daily when DH isn't and takes responsibility for SD. He has as much right to be her "dad" being he is there and loves SD very much. When dealing with a child who is almost 5, but being there from the time she was born and forward it is hard to not have a connection with them. Now Stepdad and BM were recently married so he has only been around for a short time, but I myself have been there since she was born, actually before she was born. I have a great relationship with SD and wouldn't change it for the world; no matter what BM says or does.
My ex was like this, always
My ex was like this, always wanted things in his favor. He would ask for changes and never make the ones I wanted. I grit my teeth for 15 years, until my DD was 18. It backfired on him, she is much closer to me.
What do you guys want? Why not alternate so she can have Christmas morning with you at least every other year. I would go by the court papers if she won't be reasonable. Just say, sorry, we've given you all the mornings, now we want some. Fair is fair.
She really is pathetic, trying to "hog" SD and then have you sign. She's probably paranoid that you will, gasp, follow the court and exercise your rights. But your DH has to have the nads to tell her this.
We have given her the
We have given her the mornings every year and we are not even asking for this year. Our papers state to rotate the mornings, but she doesn't want to do that; however she did sign the papers in agreement. I think it is just something else to cause drama. I just hate the drama too. I try to be civil and sometimes it is just hard. DH is going to say something, but being she won't get her way there will be some smart comment come back. It happens everytime......
BM is married, which is
BM is married, which is great being SD loves her Stepdad and yes newly married. I don't know what it is. It's just an argument for some reason about little things that really don't make much sense being we have never had issues before now.
When SD turns 12 she can start to voice her opinion on things and I just hope that she will be heard and not just seen. I hate that any child is in this type of situation, but it does happen. I had to vent earlier, but feel better. I guess there are a few things that I shouldn't have said about BM and her personalities, but it does kinda seem strange to me that one day she is happy and the next she seems depressed.
I would definitely NOT sign
I would definitely NOT sign it, no way, no how. It's great that you guys have it worked out amongst all of you, but things change year to year and you never know when you guys might actually want to utilize the holiday mornings. Doesn't sound like she would be so accomodating as you guys have been to her.
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
DH said he is not signing
DH said he is not signing her schedule. We have a court order that states specific visitation, even though we have not argued with her on what she wanted in the past and have given in to her wants. We would love to have SD on Christmas morning every other year, but BM puts SD on guilt trips, etc and the if anything doesn't go BM's way SD is stressed out. That is not right to do to a 4 year old child, so we do our best to not have that happen to SD. There is a line that you have to draw though so I am in total agreement with you. Thanks!!!
Yay for DH. Don't sign it.
Yay for DH. Don't sign it. And tell her to back off and behave herself or you will enforce the court order. You're doing a great job of dealing with BM's BS!