I have a good relationship with my skids, it hasn't always been like that b/c I suppose they didn't feel comfortable "liking" me since at one time BM didn't like me and made it known, and I'm sure that they wanted their natural parents back together and saw me as being in the way of that. However, I don't have that connection where I feel like they are mine, I care deeply for them and I love them, but not on that level. Maybe over time that will come.

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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

My SS is 6. He and DH have lived with me since he was 1 1/2. It was rocky at first because what kid @ 1 1/2 understand WHY all of the sudden MOM and DAD aren't living in the same house... and shortly after this new "mom" type woman is changing my diapers, feeding me, putting me to bed. It took some time for him to warm up to me. And we had our battles of BM filling his poor little head with horrible things about me. It was about age 3 that things really turned around. He has always been a REALLY good kid. He is rarely disciplined because he doesn't do anything to get in trouble. Now we are to the point that he cuddles with me on the couch, he kisses my arm for no reason... he loves me, like any kid would love a parent. I am truly lucky in this aspect. He is a great kid and I adore him. And for now... the feeling is mutual. I pray that he stays this way as he grows older.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

My SD is 10. We have a great relationship, it can go up and down but mostly good.

I would say 90% of the time we have a good relationship and the other 10% is when they are being typical teenagers and I can't stand the way they are being; talking back, giving attitude, talking with a tone and whatever else teenagers do.

CP

I believe that I have a good relationship with SD and SS. Do I feel like they're my children? No, but I feel comfortable talking to them and offering perspective on whatever issues they bring up. It took them a little while to warm up to me but they've never disliked me. We always have a good time when we get together for quality time. SS has actually referred to me as "part of the family" a couple of times. It warmed my little black heart!

Sometimes I worry that all this will change once they get into their teen years but honestly, what teenager likes their parents at that age? Whether bio or step you're bound to get a load of attitude from them on a regular basis since that's just how teens are. As long as there's no real issues that come up I'll just write it off as teen angst and hormone imbalance lol

I have a very close relationship with my SDs... I dearly love them. I honestly do treat them just like they're mine. 99% of all issues I have and the reason I sought out this website was due to BM. SDs are just great kids and have been for the 9+ years I've been in their lives now. I'm very very lucky and I know it!

I'm so lucky to have my SDs in my life. For all the hard times we've had (due to BM), I wouldn't change anything about them for the world. I love them like they're my own. After my miscarriage, I couldn't have any more kids, so I decided to pour my heart & soul into these kids and I've never regretted that. I'm so glad they're able to deal with the PAS inflicted on them by BM in a mature way due to counseling. IMHO, PAS is child abuse. I'm so glad that I can help them do the best they can in life. They are such wonderful young women and everyone in their lives loves the cr*p out of them. Yeah, they have their teenager days/moments, but we all did at some point, right? I'm so glad they live here now as opposed to living at the unstable environment that is BM's home.

I feel for kids who are stuck in the middle of an unpleasant situation between their parents, no matter how old they are. I feel that, no matter how old the kids are, if a parent is bashing their other parent to them, that's abuse, especially if said kids are minors. I feel like some kids know that what the PAS-ing parent says isn't true, but abide by it out of fear of not wanting to get in trouble with that parent. That was the case with my SDs and I've become more understanding of that as time has marched on.

So that being said about PAS, I have a great relationship with SDs and the work we all had to do to get to this place has been so worth it.

I have a good relationship with my skids. SS and sd like me depite their mom trying to poison them. There are bumps we've had but mainly with sd.
Now she is in her teen years and she've become quiet and doesn't come around alot. I think she just finds our place boring cause daddy doesn't take her out and entertain her....but hey, who has the money! My dh pays heafty CS and there is nothing to left to take them out and i wont foot the bill on every weekend...dont mind once or twice a year to split going out..i take payment for one and he the other but i'm not the bank for him to delve into my funds when he is short of his...sorry, that is life.
I'm very lucky....veeeery lucky because we nipped bm a long time ago and she also has given up to some extent due to us ignoring and just not playing her games. If she kids dont come...ok...we are fine with it..lets see how long she lasts without her party weekend free days....doesn't last long. By the sixth or 8th week they come..or one comes and she ships the other one to a friends house...seems sd is doing that alot on any weekend now...just sleeps over to friends.
Either way, its not a bad relationship..there is no fighting or badmouthing or attitude towards me when they come over. I've been truthful and straight and they know it. They have stated to their dad they like me and evne sd said if i ever leave her dad, she wont come to visit at all....she even has protected me against her own mother at times this year.
so as much as i dont like her attitude at times, she's not bad as all. She's got alot on her plate and that is bm's fault.
My house is light, calm, no screaming and laid back...ss loooooves comgin over. He's complimented every food dish i have made in 3 months now.

as I read all the posts above I feel sad but glad for you all. I do not have a good relationship with my step kid nor does my wife with her step kids. Every day sucks as a blended family...

I have a great relationship with SD 15. I don't consider her my bio child because she isn't......she's my step child. I would walk through fire for her, do anything to help her, and I love her very much. If something did happen to DH and I it would be in the DD that I have visitation to SD! That's how much I love her, and weather I'd win that or not I'd fight for it. She is someone that will never be out of my life. No matter what.

When she gets married I'll be right beside her, weather BM wants me there or not. When she has her kids I'll be in the room screaming and pushing with her. I'll be there for her forever, and I'll love her until the day I die.

I'm a parent to her and she's a child to me, it's just step parent and step child though.......she has her mom and dad and I.

I know my husband loves my son very much to. I know he'll protect him with his life......but he's not his bio son.

I'm right with you Harvard.

I have a good relationship with SS, but it was a journey to come to this point.
I think he respects me, and Im happy with that. I wish we were closer but he tends to put a wall up, perhaps loyalty to his mother.

Ive learned not to let my relationship with BM effect my relationship with SS. THey are 2 different people. It took me YEARS to figure that one out.

I think my relationship is strained with my SK because of my husband. He doesn't reprimand them for anything and they get away with things that my kids aren't allowed. So while my kids are being punished for certain things, the older sk's get off. My 14 year old ss has been hitting my biological son, who's 8, on a regular basis. My husband has done nothing to rectify. I finally told him, keep him away from my children. I'm too the point now I don't want to talk to the sk's or my husband. there's a big divide and it's growing.