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Divorce Article

MiseryNMissouri's picture

Submitted by MiseryNMissouri on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 7:38am

Ladies i read something last night that bothered me....a couple got a divorce and when they asked the lady what finally made the couple split she said it was the BM......Supposedely the BM was a vendictive, jealous, mean , straight up B.....The lady went on to say how the BM has lied repeatedly on her and DH, tried to break them up, brainwashed the child, alleged abuse, manipulated etc etc (you all get the picture)...the lady said she felt like she didtn have an outlet to get things off her chest (steptalk.org is here)...she did admit she took a lot of frustration out on her DH and they argued all the time about the BM and how to handle her, the DH stated from his perspective that the BM was crazy....I am saying all this to say, that today we all need to tell our DH that we love them and internet sisters we need to take a stand and not let these BM's destroy our marriages....LOOK THAT IS ALL THEY WANT TO DO, THEY WANT US WALKING AROUND TALKING ABOUT THEM, ARGUING WITH OUR DH'S ABOUT THEM, why do we give them the time of day, the best thing we can do is to love our DH and support them no matter what....BM a lot of them are goign to continue to do things to get at us and to put our DH in an bad situation but ladies we know how woman can be so when they act that way how come we get mad....Make today the day you say i will love my DH inspite of that crazy B....I dont want to see any of you divorced or even arguing with you DH about a person who will stop at nothing to break you guys up....sorry i am just venting....but it burns me up to see how some BM are only out to break us up and when i read the article it just made me think about all of you on here...Ladies take a stand against the BM, not against our DH....we can piss them off the more we love our DH ...they hate that....

Comments

MiseryNMissouri's picture

Submitted by MiseryNMissouri on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 7:51am

Thanks, i just mean we know all claim we know that BM are crazy, if that is the case why do we then let it come between our DH's and us....We have to understand that most of them dont want us in the picture and most of them as women know what would piss other woman off and those are the things they do...so my question is if we know this why do we let it affect our marriages...they would hate for us to be happy....they want us to get to the point where we cuss them out, or lash out at them....i used to be that way too with my DH's ex, i would get on my DH for not putting her in her place but i learn they more he did that the more this chick did...and i noticed that if we just let her be childish and didnt pay any attention to her, then it eventually went away, and when things came up we stuck together....his BM still hates me but who cares because i have the man that she wants...LOL

terbear9's picture

Submitted by terbear9 on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 8:24am

I honestly don't think BM is "crazy", I just think she is unhappy. She's the type who will control DH by using the children. I would ask my DH not to give in to her demands. I starting to see the more I nag or complain, I just look like the bad guy.

MiseryNMissouri's picture

Submitted by MiseryNMissouri on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 8:46am

yeah i understand that, somehow we are always the bad guys in this one...i just dont want it to come between us and our DH's

terbear9's picture

Submitted by terbear9 on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 9:09am

That's hard to answer. I think for me, our marriage is new. I've never been a SM so I'm in the learning process. I'm insecure right now. That is why I'm so happy for this site.

MiseryNMissouri's picture

Submitted by MiseryNMissouri on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 9:18am

Keep coming on here it will help to vent....welcome to the site, we are here for you...i just want you to know since you are in a new marriage what BM can try to do or their motives...Just love your DH and try to do the best you can about the insecurity...

Amazed's picture

Submitted by Amazed on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 10:23am

Maybe Im just being a bitch but why let BM have so much power in YOUR marriage?? Who gives a shit if she's manipulative,vindictive,etc...? Don't argue with your DH about some stupid wench. You both deserve better than to let some other woman take up valuable mental real estate in your marriage. To let another woman's manipulative ways be blamed for the reason you became divorced is weak and pathetic in my opinion. She only has as much power as you let her have.

I'm saying "you" in reference to the woman in the article about divorcing bc of BM. Sorry but I think it's ridiculous that she's actually blaming her divorce on the man's ex. There were obviously other problems contributing to the demise of that marriage and they had nothing to do with the ex.

If your marriage is strong meaning no one is stepping out on the other, and you're truly,solidly in love with each other than no woman BM OR NOT can break you apart.

Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha

prayerhelps's picture

Submitted by prayerhelps on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 10:28am

so tru BBB---my DH and I choose instead to laugh TOGETHER at how crazy our BM is. It is ridiculous---so crazy that it is funny, and sad. We can almost predict what stupid inane thing she will try to throw at us next---up next, nasty email about how SM(me) is lying.

Amazed's picture

Submitted by Amazed on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 10:32am

That's what I mean...LAUGHTER is sooooo much better than saying, "I can't handle this psycho ex of yours...I'm going to blame my inability to cope on the reason we're getting divorced."

PUHLEEZE!!

Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha

PnutButta's picture

Submitted by PnutButta on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 10:47am

Second marriages have a much higher rate of divorce than first marriages. I think BM's do play a role in a lot of those divorces too. Having someone constantly trying to destroy what you are trying so hard to build and keep together...well, it can take a toll on anybody. I'm pretty mentally healthy and yet still have to see a therapist due to the stress. I just said this to someone, and it's true....A blended family, even with the most perfect of circumstances, is much more challenging than the ideal non-divorced family. We have to deal with things that the initial family did not have too. Between the emotions, skids, bio-kids, a new DH, trying to get everyone on the same page, yada yada yada...exhausting.

We are a strong lot of women, that's for sure.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." ~Robert Frost

Angel72's picture

Submitted by Angel72 on Sat, 10/17/2009 - 8:37am

I've always made it a point not to argue in front of skids and not give them any negative force....But i do love my dh and i definitely understand and agree to waht you are saying.
Many woman here are strong to stay in the situations that they are in. And yes , many bm's are vindictive..some more than others..and some are not really all that bad....But if you have an ex that is mean spirited and miserable, even after 10 years of a divorce...they have serious issues and those must be blocked out ofyour loving homes. Dont allow bm's misery to rule your lives!