Get out of the relationship? How long have you been in this funk? Funks come and go with anybody and in any situation, but if you are having more funks than not, you may have to determine what it is you need to eliminate from your life that is causing the consistant funks.

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“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”

Ditto Middlemom...

Why isn't he working? What does he do all day?

and I hope it gets better soon!

Have you talked with your BF about all of this? If he isn't aware of how you feel, he really needs to be told.

Your situation is so difficult because you just had a baby & have to go back to work while your BF is unemployed. I can't jump all over this & say he really needs to find work because I know how bad the economy is right now. The whole thing really sucks.

The only thing I can suggest is taking time for yourself & taking time to bond with your baby. Keep in mind what is important. And definitely open up this discussion with your BF if you haven't already!!!

Maybe someone else on here will have better ideas?!

Honey... take some time and sit and think about what you're showing your baby.

That man needs to contribute or get out.

Ugh. Hugs to you. What a crappy situation.

Then what are you thinking???? lol...if it were me, I would make a list of pros and cons (like I do anytime I am in a "funk" about something) and weigh them out.

Do you love your BF enough to deal with this for the rest of your life?

What if the "not having a job for a while" becomes a pattern and you are always the one working and taking care of the kids?

Do you want the stress of the BM bitching at BF about child support being late or not paid at all? Then BF coming back and complaining about it, even though it's his own fault?

I don't know, I would say get out. If your not married yet, why get stuck in the situation that most of us are in? We CAN'T get out without a lot of nasty paperwork and war wounds.

Hmmm...Love

It's worse to keep around a man that sets a bad example than to go through two to get your Prince, in my opinion.

You aren't being selfish, he is. Have you expressed any of this to him? Your frustration?

In the marines, it's called a blanket party. When he's asleep, duct tape him to the bed. Then you take a few bars of soap put them in a sock........ok..I'm kidding. Not seriously advocating you beat him...well, not REALLY, REALLY seriously advocating a beating but to each her own..

Seriously, hon. No wonder you are stressed and in tears. You have a huge leach sucking the lifeblood out of you. If you are going to be a single mom, it's better to do it without the 200 pound loser eating all your food, running up your bills and adding to your stress. He is contributing nothing and taking all he can. What are you gaining from the relationship?

When my DH was laid off, he made finding a job his job. He still got up at 5, put out his resume, called contacts and headhunters, scoured the want adds. Then, he picked up side jobs mowing and junk just to have some kind of income coming in. He found a job within 4 weeks, wasn't the best job but it was a job. That's is a real man that loves his family.

There is nothing worse than a triffling man. You can do better.

"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." General George S. Patton

If there is anything I regret, it is not making more demands. I did far too much and finally the resentment corroded our marriage. I did not respect him.
He should at least be watching your daughter so you can save the daycare money. And do housework and fix dinner.
You need a sit-down discussion and negotiation of who does what. In my case, I had the kids so I took on more of the burden, financially and in the house. I ended up taking care of another kid--a grown man. Don't do it.

Is your daughter in daycare or school? Is he at least watching her/picking her up while you work? Look if he wants to stay home then he needs to be more productive. In the meantime, while he is "looking for work" he should be cleaning, cooking and taking care of the kids.
When FH's job closed for the month of August he was home. He watched my son everyday and kept the place clean. He would take the kids to the pool and stuff and run errands that I couldn't.
He needs to pull his weight, working or not.

And give him some concrete info:

1) What are the things you like about the relationship, the reasons that you would like to stay in it\

2) The things about the relationship that you don't like: broken into two categories: The ones you can live with, and the ones that are deal breakers.

3) Tell him that you would like to work with him to find some concrete solutions and deadlines for those solutions to the deal-breakers (e.g. him sitting around all day not doing any work; him not looking for a job, etc.)

4) If he does not want to do that, then end the discussion. Come up with a list on your own of things that need to change for you to stay in the relationship, and how long you will give them to change, and give that list to him.

5) Be prepared to leave if he does not make the effort to make the relationship better for YOU. It seems to be working fine for him: Get up in the morning, go to the couch, sit there until bedtime. Go to bed. Repeat the next morning. If he doesn't care about how it's working for YOU, then honey, you aren't in a relationship. You have a bum with a kid living in your house.

BB

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

How long have you and your BF been dating, and living together?

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“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”