I think we're risking Contempt of Court charges......
***Before I begin, after what happened last week, I have some concerns about UberSkank or step-demon finding my posts. So I'm making this as vague as possible when it comes to names and places.***
A close relative of DH's is getting married in a few months. Step-demon (SD stb14) found out on MySpace (UberSkank let her open the account) about this relative's upcoming wedding. DH and I were not planning on taking step-demon with us, as the wedding is out of state and we were looking at it as a little get-away for ourselves. Heavy sigh 
Anyway, step-demon also ran into this relative recently and was very excited about attending and had picked out her dress and just can't wait to go. ***Editor's note - we were unable to get this kid to brush her teeth, wash her hair or her clothes and she's excited about wearing a dress?? :O ***
DH and I discussed it and I said, if she's excited we may be lucky enough to have her be on her best behavior. We don't have to buy her anything except travel and food. DH agreed, though he still wasn't too thrilled to have her around us for an extended weekend. Long story short....step-demon did some pretty horrible things to us in the last few years. At first we thought it was because of UberSkank's PAS marking the trail for her. We ultimately found out step-demon came up with the plan and executed it all on her own. Hence....being referred to as step-demon. 
At my urging, because he does NOT want to deal with UberSkank on any level, he sent her an email and said "I understand you all ran into my relative recently and talked about their upcoming wedding. It's taking place at X in another state. Step-demon will need to be out of school an extra day. I will need your approval (in writing) to take her to X city, and take her out of school an extra day by X date because we need to make reservations. If I don't get confirmation in writing I will not take step-demon with us and will forfeit my time that weekend"
And what do you know.......complete silence from UberSkank.
So he tried again.....and nothing from her. So DH sent her a text. No reply. Another email went out and still nothing from her. About 8pm last night his phone rings and it's UberSkank's mother. :? So he let's it go to voicemail. Voicemail message was from UberSkank letting him know that he can get a hold of her on her mother's phone from now on (WTF???). And she already discussed this with him (ummmm, no you didn't), that she was okay with step-demon going to the wedding AND taking an extra day off from school.
Okay....so here's my concern.......
1) She apparently lost her cell phone or they are holding her account. She is unemployeed and very irresponsible. So this is no surprise.
2) She obviously saw the email from DH and chose not to respond via email.
3) She instead leaves a VM from her mother's phone, stating it's okay for him to take step-demon out of state for the wedding AND allow her to be out of school for an additional day.
This dumba$$ loves to go to court. Especially now that's she unemployeed and has nothing better to do. I have a vision of the future and it's this.....DH getting hauled into court because he's taking their kid out of state AND she's missing a day of school. He has no responses directly from UberSkank via email or by phone. She called from her mother's phone. Even though DH kept the email, I'm not sure that will protect him in court. I see him getting slapped with contempt of court charges in December or January.
And the kicker? DH will not listen to me about this. He said the VM is enough and will protect him. Grrrrrrrrrr. UberSkank has sole custody (physical and legal), so I believe there is an excellent chance of seeing Judge Judy (nickname for our judge) again.
Am I wrong in thinking this way? DH is stubborn and wants to limit contact with UberSkank. I keep telling him this is going to bite him on the A$$!
"Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
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Comments
Keep the voicemail
I think it will protect him, mom will look pretty stupid trying to say it wasn't left by her.
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards
In my opinion the voicemail
In my opinion the voicemail is sufficient.
I under your skepticism. I
I understand your skepticism. I would insist on BM responding via email though. I know that we're not supposed to put the kids in the middle but since step-demon is the one wanting to go to this wedding, can't your DH tell her that he can't take her UNTIL Uberskank replies to the email? That way she can nag Uber to do it? Or is that a complete no-no?
i would want more
i think that if sd wants to go that badly, bm will write the email she is just being difficult.
i think the vm most likely might be enough, but you never know, i like to cover my butt as much as possible.
can you explain to sd that bm HAS to put it in writing?
Get it in writing
Some judges won't listen to voicemail or even look at text messages - trust me we learned the hard way. If she won't give it in writing then she's probably up to something anyway
Follow Up
Do a follow up email to the effect of : Per your voice mail message in response to my previous email which you chose to answer verbally and by voicemail, this is to confirm that you have agreed to take our child to ........ date time, and the part about missing school. do a return receipt. That should cover you.
You you can leave the tart with a sitter for the weekend.
I would be nervous about
I would be nervous about that. Our BM would love for us to take the 2 skids away for extra time (no one can stand them) but I would want safe guards myself, as she has called the cops and CPS on us in the past.
Our BM has also called from relatives phones cause she was out of minutes (don't know what she has and don't care).
BF used to give her CS checks a few days early, but I keep track of when the bills need paid and it is on the exact day, unless a Sunday. She calls alot a few days before b/c of some 'no money' excuse...luckily BF hates her enough to not care.
Shaman, voicemail will
Shaman,
voicemail will protect him but that doens't mean he wont get his ass hauled into court for the heck of it and for her trying.
I would write a letter for BM to sign and if she doesn't return it by a said date then sd will not attend and dont bother picking up sd.
Present this letter to your husband and tell him or you can mail it. Its an added precaution. And its basically thrown back on her plate and if she doesn't sign it and then takes the fall completely.
SD can come an argue with you guys and you can say, sorry its your mothers fault for not signing the document , end of discussion.
Your dh may argue but you can also put your foot down too shaman. Write the letter and mail it. Do another copy for her mother's house too. Send it registered. This way you know they have received it. Its 8 bucks ...but well worth the price.
btw, in our case we always
btw, in our case we always make the letter. clearly stating the kids names, the dates we will be out of state, the phone number where to reach us...all details. And the kids make a phone call when arriving at destination.
And if bm is acting up, we phone the local authorities to tell them in writing as well where we are going, in case she makes a false accusation.
in the end,
COVER YOUR ASS.
Your dh can limit his contact. Its a damn letter. No contact there and if it doesn't come back , he wont call or pick up sd. Just leave.
I VOTE FOR.....
get it in WRITING!! I saw it written above and in my experience it is true that a judge will not listen to a recording (voicemail or otherwise). Honestly.... I know it sounds a little f'ed up but.... tell bm you need confirmation in writing or sd is not going.... sd wants to go REALLY bad so if bm can't manage to comply with this one simple request then it is HER fault that sd doesn't get to go! And if I were you.... I'd be praying that bm doesn't comply!
Voicemail is better then
Voicemail is better then email. Email can be tampered with. Save the voicemail... and take her.
"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours" Wayne Dyer
Do you think...
maybe she used her mom's phone so if it does go to court she could say it wasn't her making the call? I don't know, just sounds a little "iffy" to me. I would definitely get it in writing. Like Angel72, when we leave DS with relatives, we also include dates, location, contact number, doctor's numbers, etc. Always better to CYA!
Thank you everyone!
You've all pretty much mirrored my feelings! I spoke to DH last night and he said...."Let her take me to court, you know Judge Judy is just going to tell her to stuff it!"
UberSkank is up to something and a control freak. She's working very hard to piss off DH. He's getting back into the grove of not letting her bother him. But it's taking some effort.
If I can convince him, then I'll try and get it in writing. I would love to respond to her directly but she still refers to me as "That Woman!".
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine