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Can I just run away to anywhere but here!!

package deal's picture

First let me say I am soooo stoked that I found this site!

I have 2 DSD 13 & 10. My DH is deployed to Iraq currently. Our situation is so messed up! Technically his parents have custody of the girls, because BM didnt want them at the time...long story on that one. SO...my (sarcasm) dear wonderful & absolutely insane inlaws live next door and the girls stay with them. I thank GOd for this because I would have ran yelling and screaming to the insane asylum a long time ago! Where do I begin...oh, I am the wicked evil step monster & my DSD's hate me. I have had the oldest actually tell me to "get the f*%# out of her house", "she will make her daddy divorce me", "she hates me & has never liked me", "she doesnt have to listen to me", etc, etc etc... Now..my MIL has convinced my FIL & my DH that all this is just hormones, and will stop soon.. Secretly..I think the MIL tells her things to make her not like me..I have (in the past) confided in my MIL about things with the girls. I never say bad things about them, I have just voiced concerns that I never wanted them to feel unwelcome in our houise, or to think I am trying to take their dad away, etc. These have come back to bite me in butt, but turned around to say that I am taking their dad away & I dont want them in my house...
I am a child of divorce, so I do know some of the things the girls are going thru. However with that being said, I NEVER disrespected my SM. I never manipulated or lied the way these girls do. And I have asked my BM, SM, & dad if I did. They all say no. Not to mention ALL kids love me! I have never met a child that didnt!

The entire family has tried to "make up" for the fact that the BM didnt want them. Oldest DSD uses this to her advantage all the time! BM never bonded with the oldest, so there is really no relationship there, she just uses her BM to get what she wants, and only at times that suit DSD. The youngest does have a relationship with her BM. But at what point does someone say enough is enough. You cant change the past. I have tried to explain to DSD her mother loves her in her own way, and she should try to give her a chance. This falls on deaf ears, cause again "she doesnt have to listen to me"

My DH doesn't want to face the truth that his kids are little lying brats. He blames all this on me, cause "You are the adult you should try to get along with the" SO I TRY...& I crash & burn. The minute, NO THE SECOND DSD doesnt get her way...all hell breaks loose. And here we go again on the great rollercoaster ride! Ultimately, they go behind my back and tell DH they are mad at me & want him to divorce me. WHen he asks why, they lie ...here is one of the best ones so far! "she tried to run over me with her car!" to my defense, I had 2 of her friends in the car with me, and DSD was walking in the MIDDLE of our road.

I can go on & on & on & on...like most of you can...this is only a few episodes...stay tuned

Comments

Most Evil's picture

Since MIL gets on so well with them, can you just stay away from SDs? until Dh comes home. That way they have nothing to complain about, although I am sure that will not please them either.
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Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.

William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2

package deal's picture

Yes they are staying with MIL, but that has yet to deter them from complaining. MIL can't control them, she will try to discipline them, then just give in, this is usually only with the 13yo though.. I have just learned from DH that 10yo DSD is mad with me, yet no one can tell me why she is mad. That is the hardest part, they make up things, and I am unaware anything is wrong, but they tell DH, MIL & FIL this crap, and they believe them. Because these precious little girls would never lie. And DH fusses at me because "I cant get along with his girls and they are a package deal". At times they are a true joy to be with, and I do love them, I do HATE their lies, bad attitudes, manipulative behaviors, and their rudeness.