I think some BM's keep their ex's names so they have the same last name as their kid(s).

A friend of mine was divorced over 13 years ago, and she kept her ex's name so she had the same last name as her daughter. She remarried about 6 years ago, and kept her ex's name instead of taking her new DH's. Now THAT'S wierd.

I didn't do it to be spiteful.... But by the time we actually got divorced - had to wait a year - I had already purchased a new car and a new home. My bills and cell phone were also in that name. My work email and accounts were in that name. My home loan and car title were in that name. Everything was in that name as it was my legal name at the time......

So it was just easier to keep that name. Hell my x got remarried 5 months later and asked me. I just told him it was easier to just keep the name then refianance my house and changing everything.

Had nothing to do with his sorry butt at all. Hell if i had not purchased things or used the name at work with what was my "legal name" at that time that name would not have showed up on anything. He was not worth keeping that name.

I don't think all BM's do it to be spiteful, some may want the same last name as their kids, some may have things in that name and some may want to be spiteful.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

For the same reason as the others--to have the same last name as my BDs. Ex and I have a friendly but distant relationship. We rarely talk but have always been on good terms. We live in differently towns.

What makes me mad is that BM kept DH's name and she professes to hate him and harrasses him and me constantly. It's a very unique name and only 4 people have it in our small city. DH, BM and skids. If I change my name, I know everyone is going to ask me if I am related to BM and skids. BM is a crazy angry white trash witch and I don't want to be associated with her and I don't want to be peppered with questions about the evil Skids so I never changed my name to DH's name. If she hates him that much, she should change her name. Did I mention they haven't been married for 15 years and she had two more illigitmate children since they divorced???

"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"

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I do not believe it is truly done as a means of being spiteful. When there are kids involved a lot of times it is less confusing, especially for children (& their friends) to have the same last name as a BM.

I know from personal experience of dealing with different last names---as a child and adult.

As a child---
My mom reverted back to her maiden name shortly after her divorce from my father was finalized. However, my last name remained the same as my father's. That is until I requested through the court system (while still a minor) that I have my last name legally changed to match my mom's. I did this mainly because my father was an absent father---terrible, never saw/called me, and was even thrown in jail for back child support.

As an adult---
I legally changed my name to my husband's after we were married. This has caused some confusion, especially for school/medical and my child's friends. Of course, most people automatically assume that if my son is Little Johnny Doe then I'm Mrs. Doe. I am constantly having to correct people, but sometimes I don't for the sake of explanation.

So I can see where a BM would keep a last name that is as same as the child's. I can see where a child would want to share the same name as a parent.

However, I know if my DH and I ever divorced I would revert back to my maiden name. Personally for me it would simply be a constant reminder of a part of my life that went sour.

I hope that helps you understand why some BMs choose to keep the name of their former spouse.

Take care,
Anne

"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."

but got the other as a bonus. she kept her name for snowshyte but then she also makes a point of flaunting it to me everytime she sees me(not often that we meet THANK GOODNESS)...last time she flaunted it to me in my very own driveway I had my german shepherd maul her ass til she got back in her car }:)

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.

back to my maiden name. While I understand the bm's who maintain the ex's name for the sake of their children, I personally wanted that reminder gone for me. Dh's ex, however, has maintained my dh's last name for one purpose and one purpose only, to let everyone know that she is Ms......Very early on, I let this bother me, until I googled her first and last name, and then my first and last name, and found hundreds of women in the U.S. with both of our names. So I figure that she can keep it,lol, as hundreds of other women have the same name anyway. It has not bothered me since.

Four years later and she still has his name. Why? Because she will never let go that's why. Oh how I hate this topic!

Shouldn't a man be legally entitled to take his name back? If we took it to court and asked to judge to make her change her name would he? seriously, it's HIS name!

~all you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust...and sometimes a machine gun~

me too. I even gave Daffy a business card of this lady who caters weddings and has bridal wear in her shop. She lets you lay-a-way stuff. I was trying to get the bitch to marry her BF at the time so she would no longer have the same last name as us...lol.

"If your going through hell, keep on going, don't slow down, if you're scared, don't show it, you might get out before the devil even knows you're there" -Rodney Atkins

never changes her last name from whomever she is married to this year bc her maiden name is associated with trash and crime and being a coke head, lesbian stripper.