Do your skids call you mom or dad?
Ok question for everyone out there.. do your skids call you mom or dad even though their not your bio kids?? this is why i ask... my bio daughter calls dh dad, she doesnt remember her bio dad and he has chosen to not be a part of her life dh is the only father she has and remembers always being their for her, so when skids heard her calling dh dad they asked if they could call me mom,
i was shocked and kinda stuck so i just said that will have to be something you and your dad discuss and i'm fine with whatever you guys decide.
well after dh said it was up to skids they sometimes call me mom sometimes call me by my name (depending on how they like me that day or what they want from me) but the last time we went to court the judge addressed them calling me mom or their step dad dad was not right and he doesn't want to be hearing of it anymore, he said they only have one mom one dad and they shouldn't be calling anyone else mom or dad because they only have one mom and dad. ok first off i dont care if they call me mom i never asked for them to do it or told them they had to i just thought you know their kids who cares but i think that should really not be up to a judge to tell dh that he needs to tellthe kids their not allowed to call me that i think that should be more of a family decision... i dont know what are all of your thoughts on it? o and by the way when we did talk to skids they told us that bm still lets them call their step dad "dad"
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My skids call me by my name
My skids call me by my name only or say stepmom when they refer to me with others.
That judge is just fuc*ed up.
No way he should have any say in that, it's a personnal family issue and was not imposed on the kids, therefor he should keep to his legal judgements and leave those other details up to the family.
In what way could that EVER cause any harm anyway ??
That's just wrong!
Screw him and let the skids be comfortable with whatever they call you and their stepdad.
Jezzzzuuus....don't they have some crazy criminals to go catch and prosecute instead of wasting time on issues like this that don't even belong (in my opinion) in the court system ??
That jst gets me fired up and UPset!
Chaotic :sick:
I am called by my name,
I am called by my name, though every now and then they call me mum playfully, which is nice i suppose.. i guess it means they actually like me!
What business does a judge
What business does a judge have telling you something like that??? That is overstepping in my opinion. My SS calls me Mom - he has since the day my husband and I got married. My SD calls me Mom-may. Their mother HATES it and she has even punished them for saying it. They've learned not to tell her or say it around her. If we happen to be around the Wookie, the kids will call me by name. I didn't ask them to call me mom, that was their own decision, but I like it. My Bio-kids had a step mom for about three months (LOL!), and they called her Momma T. I didn't have a problem with it. It didn't bother me. My Bio-kids also call my husband Dad. He has been more of a father to them than their own bio father.
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I had to sign back in and
I had to sign back in and respond when I read this. WHAT A JERK that judge is!
Do you have a DH? Can you ask for a different judge? I'm not sure how family court works, but to me, that is a very clear indication of his being "out of touch" with today's day and age, and also very very judgmental on how HE thinks step-families should go. I don't know if that's his own stuff coming out in there or what.
It's up to the adults and the skids in the relationship what to call each other. The ones who see and deal with each other every day!! NOT some judge who maybe sees you once every what... 6 months if that?
If that were me and I had an attorney, I'd ask for a different judge. Someone that seems that "arcane" with matters so trivial also sounds to me like he could become the traditional "BM is the 'Mother', with everything that entails, and DH is 'just the Father', who is supposed to pay, and only get visitation, etc.". Does this make sense? In short, I'd be concerned that he's more pro-BM, than pro-Father.
Hope everything works out!! And... keep letting your skids call you WHATEVER they feel comfortable with. That judge is misinformed (in my opinion)!
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
Sorry I meant to write here
Sorry I meant to write here """ Does your DH have an attorney? " NOT "Do you have a DH"! I hope that makes more sense!
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
I think that where there is
I think that where there is an active parent Mom or Dad, should be reserved for Bio parents - I don't think the judge was out of order - I'm sure they see lots of this type of thing. I wouldn't want my BD calling SM 'mom' and I wouldn't let my skids call me 'Mom' - I'm not their mom, so they can call me by my name....simple really.
One day, SD8 asked if she
One day, SD8 asked if she could call me "Mommy" and it caught me off guard. She has a Mom and a Dad, and she has always called me by my name which is fine with me. I felt really awkward b/c she is not my bio child. I quickly responded that maybe she should o.k. that with her mom first and see what she says. Since then, SD has ALWAYS called me by name.
~Lizzy (NotMadeOfMoney)
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"Who needs therapy when you have wine." ~Anonymous
Judge was clearly an idiot!
Judge was clearly an idiot! I think its great that they want or feel comfortable enough to do so and they came up with the idea themselves!!! It would be different if you or DH forced that upon them. I think 110% it is a family decision. Yes you are not their mother, but you do play a motherly role in their life. I think your family and esp the kids should decide what they feel most comfortable with and go with that.