A little OT....should I be so jealous?
So, my best friend got engaged to day in front of Cinderella's Castle in DisneyWorld. She and her fiancee have been together for 1 year.
BF and I have been together for 2 1/2 years, would love to get engaged/married but God only knows when we'll be able to afford it (of course, thanks to BM and the giant f**k up called SD).
I love my friend, we've known each other for over 10 years. But I just can't seem to get that happy for her 
Of course I said congratulations and can I see a picture of the ring, but it was all done with a frown on my face. I really want to be happy for her but it just seems so unfair. Why can't life just be easy in this situation?? Skids seem like more trouble than they're worth most of the time!! ARRRRGGH Any advice on how I can just get over it and properly celebrate with her? (really need it since the 4 of us and my cousin and her boyfriend are all going on a weekend vacation together next week so I need to have my smiling face by then :/ )
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honey, i feel the same way
my best friend AND my cousin just got engaged to their men. and they are getting married around the same time next year. both have not been with their men very long. i have been with my man almost 5 yrs and, like you, cannot be sure when we will be able to afford a wedding b/c of bm and sd11. its also because of other shit.
you have a right to feel sad/depressed/jealous/bitter. you are only human. however i would suggest keeping your feelings at bay when around your friend. one day you will have your special moment in time, and your friend will be elated for you.
my advice for you would be this site (duh), keeping a journal on your feelings, speaking with other friends/family who you can trust, and maybe getting involved with helping your friend plan. do NOT keep your feelings inside for too long or else you will blow up.
skids are way more trouble than they are worth. they really do ruin things for us stepmoms who just want a normal relationship with the men we found and connect with. WE are the victims, NOT those kids, but its always turned around.
good luck hun.
MOST true genuine men are
MOST true genuine men are not going to marry a woman that refers to their child as F up. No wonder he rather talk to his X. Its not that you can't afford it, its that he prob wants his x back.
Troll
Yvonne seems to be a BM troll - and if a 'man' wanted his ex back, he would go to her - if not he doesn't. Pretty simple!
_________________________________________________________
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.
William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2I'm curious as to why
we suddenly seem to have a rash of bitter BMs here? I don't get it...where are they all coming from??? AND WHY don't they go to ivillage and spout their "wisdom"?
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957
Just wanted to tell you that
Just wanted to tell you that I wasn't offended in the slightest that you called SS a giant f**k up. I'm sure you only said that because he is. Don't let what that person said get to you. She doesn't know anything about you and is just trying to antagonize.
LMFAO
Number 1: At what point did I say that BF was talking to BM??? That was never said and was not even remotely the point of this blog. Fucking idiot.
Number 2: My BF will tell anyone himself straight up that SD was the biggest mistake of his life. He had been dating BM 2 months, thought it would be a "good idea" to have a kid and has suffered endlessly since then because of that stupid mistake. Sorry if you can't handle the facts but, sometimes, A KID IS A FUCKED UP MISTAKE!!!
And just because I happened to fall in love with him, I now have to suffer the consequences as well...which WAS the point of this blog.
Don't worry Chai, the troll does not bother me one bit. She's too dumb to even read the blog coherently enough to get the point. She's just bitter because she was probably like my BM: got pregnant early in the relationship to try to "chain" the man to her because he "can't" leave her if they have a child....oh and then he did leave her. And now she's alone and bitter. Boo friggin' hoo
****I'm curious as to
****I'm curious as to why
Submitted by BitchBitchBarbie on Wed, 08/12/2009 - 7:09am.
we suddenly seem to have a rash of bitter BMs here? I don't get it...where are they all coming from??? AND WHY don't they go to ivillage and spout their "wisdom"?
I'm curious as to why that as soon as someone disagrees they're the biomom.
If you read her original post you'll see that he treats her like crap.
BECAUSE
we are a support group and do not bash each other for sharing feelings others not in our situation would not understand and frown upon....... and up until the ivillage raid we had peace & harmony!
I'm a stepmom too, and i
I'm a stepmom too, and i really don't have enough time in the day to worry about what my DH is doing every second of the day, who he is calling etc...Its your DH that is disrespecting you not the X.
You don't know if he wants his X back, you just hope for your buddies sake he doesn't. Maybe he doesn't and wants to keep his wife, but sure enough he feels the tension with his wife in regards to his children.
Maybe he likes talking to someone that actually gives a crap about his kids. His wife is not one of them.
we think
these things when we see people like you around here because MOST of your statements are inflammatory. Find a better way to say what you think and you won't get treated like a bitter BM. Have a lovely day
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957
Don't ast like a bitter
Don't act like a bitter stepmom, and you just might get better responses as well.
sigh...
Ya know what sweetiepie...you're right. I give up on you. I sincerely hope that maybe one day you'll post your own blog and that way WE can comment on what you have to say...I've been checking but infortunately you haven't posted ANYTHING about yourself thus far. So...you're just here to observe and comment on everyone else but share nothing about yourself. Interesting. Oh well...have a great week!
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957
I have posted about my life
I have posted about my life and me as a person. I'm sorry I just don't have to fight for my husbands attention, I don't have to bash his X or have my DH bash his X to have a part in the family.
I wouldn't have married him if I knew there was gonna be drama 24/7,if I knew he hated his X etc.
I hope I have a good week too!!!
Where?
Yvonne, where have you posted about your "life" and you "as a person"? Very curious, as your attitude is very BM-like and suspiciously not SM-like?
And on a totally different note:
As my little add-on to this thread, my Husband was with his ex for four+ years over an eleven year span in which they had kids. He never married her even though she desperately wanted him to (she even told people they were married! I checked and in our state, they weren't even commonlaw). My husband fell in love with me over a year-long time period and we got engaged immediately with an inexpensive antique-shop ring. My then-fiance took an engagement picture of me with his phone and I was wearing aviator glasses, had drawn a little mustache on my finger and so had giant sunglasses and a fake mustache as well as my little ring in my engagement picture. We spent 45.00 on court fees altogether and 15.00 for my new drivers license and that's all we spent on our little wedding! We already had rings and I had my family there and that was it. We were giddy with joy throughout the whole thing and It was the best wedding ever. Despite my complaints about my skids and the crazy witch who spawned them, I am one of the happiest married people i've ever known. Weddings don't have to be big and crazy to be fantastic and it's about the marriage, not the wedding. So, please don't be discouraged about the cost, if you dream of a big wedding (something I don't understand!) then you can save for it, but I had a courthouse wedding and it was amazing. We celebrated with friends and other family later and kept the stress and money spending to a minimum. We took 1/2 the money we would have spent on the wedding and went on a vacation/honeymoon and with the other 1/2 we got a brand new bed and bed linens.
I think that if you're in love and really love each other than it will happen naturally. I think guys tend to dread the whole wedding thing (and as a result the proposal/engagement thing) and that helps make them slackers in the proposal department. Best of luck to you though!
"The truth shall set you free." ~John 8:32
You Rock
BBB! Thank God this site has you.
"The truth shall set you free." ~John 8:32
I was jealous
after the first sentence! I don't blame you. There is nothing that says you can't be jealous, but you CAN fake "I'm so happy for you" just for her sake. You don't have to mean it. You can give her your support and feel slighted at the same time. It's obvious that you that it's not her fault that you aren't getting what you deserve, so just put on a happy face for her benefit. You can be unhappy all you want without raining on her parade. You sound like you already know all that though. Just follow your conscience.
"If your going through hell, keep on going, don't slow down, if you're scared, don't show it, you might get out before the devil even knows you're there" -Rodney Atkins
Marriage doesn't have to be expensive
We eloped, got married in a barn with a JP. License, $30. JP, $50. Flowers, $60. Getting married without drama--priceless.
Getting married without the drama - Priceless
JamaicanMeCrazy
LIVE LOVE LAUGH
is right! When DH & I decided to get married, I was so stressed out trying to make plans, pick a church,find a minister, find a dress, etc., etc. and trying not to step on anyone's toes (read: SD's, MIL, my sister) that I was about to say forget this crap & we'll just live together! DH asked what I'd like to do as far as getting married - I said if I had my preferences, we'd get married barefoot on a tropical beach - and he said so why aren't we? That's all it took for me to pick up the phone and call the travel agent. And no, our families were none too happy about it, but WE were and that's what mattered. We had a beautiful beach wedding & we did have an awesome reception 2 weeks after we returned from Jamaica, even wore our wedding attire (he khaki shorts & white shirt, me a red/orange sundress; MIL was horrified that we got married barefoot!) You can make a wedding as pricey or as inexpensive as you wish - a JP in the park or at the local scenic lake, whatever you can afford. Our wedding & trip to Jamaica was a lot cheaper that what it would have been had we done the whole wedding thing here at home. As for the reception, DH is a wonderful cook, he & his uncle did smoked pork for bbq and my sister & I did the rest of the food & drink - we rented the American Legion hall and did homemade invitations on my computer (which, btw, looked totally awesome!)We hired DH's cousin's DJ show and our guests and us (and a few crashers from the AL bar) had a blast!
Suggestion
can we just NOT respond to Yvonne35 --- she appears to have nothing positive, humurous or interesting to contribute....