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BM changes her mind...and it only took 8 months!!

Amaurea's picture

This past October, BM's husband passed away from a "seizure" (everyone pretty much knows it was a drug overdose/drug related...but we'll let that lie go for now). So she strikes a deal with my FH: if FH will allow her to change SD's last name to BM's (now dead) husband's last name, then FH can stop paying child-support forever. The reason for this being, if SD has BM's husband's name and BM files him as the main care-provider then the state will pay BM every month as if SD was his child.

So FH agrees to this (because he was barely affording the child-support in the first place AND the state is now paying BM almost 3 times the amount he was every month so, overall, its better for SD financially). BM and her lawyer draw up the papers to stop child-support in November, all parties and lawyers sign, and everyone goes on their merry way.

Or so we thought.......

The other day BM texts FH: "We need to talk soon about some child-support. Money is tight and SD is getting older now."

:jawdrop:

First of all: this was YOUR IDEA b@#*h!! FH's daughter doesn't even have his last name anymore because of your brilliant plan. And guess what? Money is tight for everyone and you're getting money from the state for SD every month for free so don't cry to us!

Secondly: SD is getting OLDER now?? What does that have to do with anything? YOU were the one who agreed to no more child-support FOREVER. And, wow BM, she went from 3yrs 1month old when this started to 3yrs 9months old now. Thats a WHOLE LOT older with ALL KINDS of more expenses. I completely see your point BM :?

What did this woman think when she CAME UP with this idea and drew up and signed the papers HERSELF???

Comments

goodmom's picture

I think the entire idea was nuts. If I was DH I would not want another man's name given to my children no matter what financial hardship I was facing. I dunno, call me crazy but it's like selling your kids out. I especially wouldn't want them named after a deceased druggie who died from an overdose. To each his own though.

That being said, Considering how hair brained the scheme seemed from the get go I'm really not surprised BM is going back on it now.

Having a baby does not make you a mother.

Sia's picture

Not only is that incredibly illegal, you'd better double check that Dh didnt sign away his parental rights! The only way I have ever heard of getting out of CS is to give up all parental rights. This sounds like a BAD situation!

libby's picture

State....BM would no longer seek child support for the minor child - Very important detail - please tell me you did not take her word

Amaurea's picture

FH's lawyer looked over the papers closely...it said she would no longer seek child support. He did not sign away his parental rights, it was just stated that the deceased husband was the main financial and physical provider (which IS true; FH only has SD EOW and BM's husband had a problem with prescription drugs. Other than that I can vouch that he was a decent person and took good care of SD.)

Basically, she could only get $$ from one place: FH or the state via her dead husband. She and FH chose the state.

goodmom's picture

What Sia said.

Having a baby does not make you a mother.

libby's picture

She can come after you then, I would call FH lawyer and double check.

StepMadre's picture

What a greedy pig! I've never heard of anything like this before, but i'm not surprised. This kind of thing happens when one parent actually cares about their child's welfare and is willing to put their kid first and one parent just wants to milk money out of their kid and is willing to do anything to get it. What is with the sense of crazy entitlement these BM's have? I'm disgusted...

"A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness isn’t being a bully, it’s having a backbone.” ~Robert Kiyosaki

imagr8tma's picture

but I guess she was only concerned where she could get the most money from. I would give the lawyer a call and take it from there.

Not surprised though. Now she probably wants money from the state and DH to pay support. But of course will try to keep it out of court.

Amaurea's picture

BM just dropped off SD for her EOW...and GLEEFULLY informed FH that she and her new boyfriend just closed on a new condo so he may not be able to get into contact with her tomorrow afternoon cuz they'll be at a meeting with the real-estate agent.

Huh.

And how did they get the money for this (considering she just asked for extra child support DAYS ago since "money is tight")?? Oh yeah: she just received a large amount of money from a trust fund left for her by her grandmother. Information that she openly offered on her own while gloating about the new condo. :jawdrop:

I rest my case. The woman is out of her effin' mind.

stepmom2one's picture

Don't give her a cent till a lawyer looks over the paper work. It doesn't sound like you need to give her anything. Offer to take SD 50/50 is SD is costing her to much (if you want that).