horrible me

I know this sounds so bad, but maybe DH will just drop dead or have an accident at work or something and die & then SD can go back to live with her Troll Grandmother.

schrob01's blog
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I have one on the way, i'm due Sept. 30, but I don't care, i raised my other two all on my own & it's much easier than having man around, less interference & less distraction. Men are like damn babies themselves.

OMG lol...please be careful

OMG lol...please be careful what you wish for!

wow.....

wait...didn't I just read a bible thumping post where u were expousing yur Christianity?

"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"

struggling

Yes, that's me & I admitted to you I am really struggling with all of these feelings I'm having while I love God at the same time. You don't know HOW difficult this is for me. I have to pray everyday to be able to endure living with DH & SD. This is the hardest thing that I've had to do. I'm being asked to love a child that I don't love, that I don't want to love. I feel like I'm betraying my own children when I try to take SD under my wing. She has lied to me, stolen from me & my children and it is so hard for me to be around her, especially since DH doesn't believe me & took her side & never made her face any consequences.

not perfect

the only difference between someone who is a Christian & someone who is not is that i've accepted Christ as my savior. does that keep me from sinning or having sinful thoughts? No, it doesn't excuse me either. All it means is that when I fall, i have to pick myself back up, ask God to forgive me and extend to me the power & grace that I need to be able to not sin any more. This is something that in and of myself, i do not have the power to do but because of me having accepted Christ as my Savior, when I ask Him to change me & make me more like Him & to help me love others the way that He does, he begins to transform me. Sometimes it takes time & believe me, it's hard to love someone when you feel that they are your enemy. It is the hardest thing to have to do. It's one of those "fake it till you make it" things. so i keep praying it & faking it & eventually... it won't be fake, but real. I'm trying to be patient, i'm asking God everyday to help me. I believe He has allowed me these days alone to gather my thoughts & regain my sanity & find some peace & spend time with my daughters. He's given me a break for a little while, but soon, it will be time to get back into the trenches. R&R is almost over, this is war we are fighting, not against flesh & blood. It's difficult to separate the SD from the enemy.

but wait...I'm lost

yur bio says u have been married for six months....so when did u notice that u hate being around yur dh's daughter?....I guess I'm just a little confused.....I mean....its only been six months....do u think maybe yur still in the adjustment phase of marriage? I mean, did he JUST start guilt parenting in the past six months?

"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"

no

he's been guilt parenting forever, and I have been doing the best that I can, on my own to make adjustments. i thought that i was doing well by letting it all go, but had no idea that my children were the ones having to deal with the brunt of SD's spoiled behavior. While DH & i were at work, she began to pawn her chores off on my little one. She would send her down stairs to retrieve meals for her, open her soda can & water bottles for her. I didn't realize how spoiled she was & helpless she was until we all began living in the same house.

It wasn't till we went on vacation 2 weeks ago, that my children had enough of her. My husband was always telling them to do chores, but never telling my SD. I noticed that at first. Then he would get on my children to unplug the appliances in the kitchen, but when i asked SD to turn the television off at night when she goes to bed, she completely ignored me & my husband wouldn't back me up & instead, reprimanded me for asking her to shut off the tv. I let it go.

I even let go of the stealing & the lying to me. But when we went on vacation & my children "voted her off the mountain" so to speak, basically they alienated her & refused to engage in any kind of relationship with her any longer, my husband wanted me to scold them & make them engage w/her. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it. how do you force someone to have a relationship with someone else?

So, that's when everything came out into the open. It all came to a head, after 6 months of being married. Now, it's out in the open, everyone's angry, expressing the ill treatment & how unfair my husband has been. And he has been. I have been asking for him to make things fair. We made a list of chores & house rules & the only children that have been expected to follow them are mine. SD manages to squirm her way out of everything. DH has no back-bone & just blames everything on me & my kids, saying that we hate her. We didn't at first, but we do now.

Schrob, just from the title of your blog I take back my

earlier suggestion of thearpy and suggest instead a divorce. If you hate him, and his daughter so bad that you even think of him dying so you don't have to deal with them any longer.........honey you shouldn't be in this relationship. Honestly, you need to get out, take a break, get a divorce, get thearpy (while out of the relationship) etc. Not because you are messed up in the head or anything, just because this situation is unwinnable at this point, I'm afraid. **PS, I only base this off what all you've told us**

~all you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust...and sometimes a machine gun~

You can't be for real

I'm going to go on the assumption that this is a joke. Not a whole lot of your story adds up. Bible thumper, knocked up before marriage (if my calculations are right, 6 months ago with baby due next month = 2 months preggo at marriage), 2 other kids with a big gap between them that you raised on your own, and wishing death on your husband to get rid of SD. Did I get it all right?

If you are for real, you need help and a divorce attorney. I don't typically jump on people like this but if you are going to preach the Bible to people, don't be hypocritical.

LAB, I don't think there are many out there that can preach

the bible without sounding "hypocritical". No matter where your relationship with God we are all still sinners. That's what the bible teaches us.........just because she's a Christian doesn't mean that she's not allowed to have bad thoughts, or even do sinful things! We all do, we're human. I really don't like the term "bible thumper". Not at all........I think it's as derogatory as making racist comments. JMO.

~all you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust...and sometimes a machine gun~

Um, last time I checked,

Um, last time I checked, wanting your husband dead is not just "bad thoughts"

My point was, don't preach the Bible if you are going to turn around write something like this. I believe people are free to believe whatever they want, but they can keep it to themselves and not push it on anyone else.

Agreed.

~all you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust...and sometimes a machine gun~

PREGNANCY

pregnancy was planned. I've been treated for Endometriosis for the past two years. I didn't know that I had it, hence the gap between my 21 yr old & the 11 yr old.I almost died during child birth. I was married to their father for 17 yrs. we separated 1 yr after 11 yr old was born. he had a drug problem & always was in and out of trouble. Our divorce was final 3 years ago. I hadn't dated anyone since then. DH was the first. I had always wanted another child & by sheer luck came across my current doctor 2 years ago, he initially treated me for urinary incontinence. While undergoing surgery, they found tumors in my reproductive organs. That was what kept me from getting pregnant. Younger daughter was a miracle baby. They did a laperoscopy & I had been being treated for my condition for the past two years, hoping to preserve my ability to reproduce, hoping I would get another chance to have a baby. Because of my age & the high risk, my pregnancy was planned.

I, in no way am looking for a

religious debate....this not what this site is for....however....I just find it a bit much to see a post where a Bible verse is quoted verbatim and then a post from the same author where it is stated that maybe the DH will just drop dead....sorry...it doesn't work that way for me........and if yur SD is so messed up and yur biodaughters r in such great shape,...then yur Christianity should be showing u that SD NEEDS you all more now than ever...maybe its not about u......I found thru my Christianity that life is totally not about me at all....we all sin and we all have undesireable thoughts....I guess making them real and written for all to see,was just personally upsetting to me.... I STILL cannot understand why u would marry a man who's child u see as the "enemy".

"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"

well...SMJ....I for one....

didn't mean to offend using the "bible thumping" term,,,HOWEVER...when someone posts a bible verse verbatim, I consider that to be "bible thumping" and then says maybe her DH will drop dead....sorry,,,,that just makes me sick....and I find those who throw the Bible in yur face and then speak in such unChristian terms offensive....

"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"

Also agreed.

I just really don't like the term "bible thumper, or bible thumping". I feel as strong about that as others do about other slang words ya know. I hope I didn't sound like I'm jumping down anyone's throat.......it's just to sit back and not say anything about the word being tossed around is the same as agreeing to it, IMO anyways.

I don't know this member, don't know if she's real. I wonder to be honest......but just think about what if she is, what if her life is so horrible right now she's here actually putting these terrible thoughts out there for HELP? Here we are belitting her and calling her "faith" out so to speak.

I just think we should all be more supportive

~all you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust...and sometimes a machine gun~

I am VERY supportive....I don't need to prove that.....

and I try to stay out of posts that piss me off....but I'm sorry...I'd be a phoney if I didn't say something....wishing death is a big one for me....

"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"

Agreed

this is just too much.... on several levels.

I thought the same thing. I

I thought the same thing. I ignore a lot of things on here, but this was too much for me.

I'm calling Bull Shit on this one

Looking into this a little more I also noticed this:

http://www.steptalk.org/node/15083 where you claim to have your first counseling appt. with DH on Monday.

then this http://www.steptalk.org/node/15099 where you claim DH and SD have been gone for 5 days.

Anyone else see more lies and hypocrisy?

Go troll somewhere else please. We have enough problems of our own without people causing drama here.

yes

yes SD has been at BF's house since last Thursday. DH has been at mommie's house since last Friday. We fought, he went to mommie's to watch her dog. Mommie lives 10 mins. away. Counseling was Monday at 6:30pm. Gone - meaning NOT AT HOME since our fight. But in contact with me. Even though he went to stay at mommies WE still went to our counseling appointment. why is that so unbelieveable?

As a former, practicing

As a former, practicing "bible thumper" I left the church because of hypocritical, self-rightous people in the church who seem to think christians are perfect and above feelings, emotions and mistakes. I was put off by her religious posts for personal reasons but I am a reasonable person, respected her feelings, kept my opinions to myself and moved onto the next post. Why?? Because this lady is pissed off and she needed to vent in her own way. I have a huge dislike and distrust for organized religion and religious people, however I'm going to defend Schrob01.

Schrob01 is scared, hurt and angry. Normal feelings considering what she is going through right now. She is falling back on her faith to support her through this rough time. She is pregnant, hormones are going all whacky and her DH is behaving like an ass. She shouldn't have to answer to us for her feelings or defend herself for being a christian and having those feelings. That between her and her God and not for us to judge, question or belittle.

This site is for us to rant, rave and vent. Sometimes when we're angry we just wish the object of our anger would go away and never come back. I know I do. So please. Like SMJ said, she is reaching out for our help and support. Please let's focus on the issue at hand and not how she got there. The past no longer matters, except as a learning tool. All that matters is today and the future and those things we can control, change and improve upon.

Schrob01 - If you're still on here PM me please if you need someone to talk to, to help get you over the hump. Minus the kids, I went through a horrible, abusive marriage while a practicing christian. I may be able to help.

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine

i feel the same way!!!!!!!!!!!

maybe i am not crazy afterall!!!! yea me!!!!

on a serious note, isnt it sad we have to think that way? why cant the skids just go away?

Schrob01, I have responded to several of your posts,

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.

But sweetie, this one is indeed the most disturbing. I'm not speaking in regards to the fact that you proclaim to be a christian and yet speak of your dh dying, but I am speaking directly to the fact that you wish death on him period. This type of statement is made from self pity and honey you have got to snap out of it. First, accept your own responsibility in this relationship. I lived in an abusive marraige, yes, there were times I had thoughts of the police showing up at my front door(when the ex stayed out all night) to tell me he had been killed in an accident. What I realized is that these thoughts came out of my unwillingness to take control of my own life, I was in essence waiting for life to clean up my broken home, my broken spirit, my broken life...all of which I contributed to and had the power and control to change, by just leaving. This is exactly what I did. You have stated that you have kicked the dh and sd out of your home, you have stated that you have attempted counseling with dh, and while these are probably the best actions you can take for yourself and your daughters, thinking irrational thoughts is going to help no-one. You are going to have to deal with this man( as you are having his child)even if you divorce. Wishing him physical harm because he has hurt you, because he has failed to live up to your expectations of what life with him should be, is plain and simply wrong. Pick yourself up, start taking actions that will put you and your two daughters on the path you need to be on. Your marraige has gone to a very unhealthy level,and my opinion is it is time to let go. I dont come on here to " preach" to anyone and I am of the opinion that God himself, does not propose to judge a man until the end of his days, Why then should I? We can choose to sit in self pity, or we can take action. I hope you can see that you need to focus on what you need to be doing for you, your daughters and your unborn child. Step up, take responsibility, find friends or loved ones to give you emotional support and accept that the only one you can change in this situation is yourself...

Yes

Excellent response Sebbie....

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