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serenity

schrob01's picture

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can & the WISDOM to know the difference.

I pondered this little prayer last night & what it means to me & how i would apply it to my life. I accept that I will never be able to change my SD or the way my DH relates to her.

I have excercised the courage to change the things that I can: DH & I are separated, unfortunately it had to come to that. But my sanity needed to be restored & so now I'm getting back on track with myself mentally & emotionally.

The wisdom to know the difference? Well, that I think has to happen first. Which it did, when i came to the realization that I can't change SD or DH. I need to accept them the way that they are & not be angry about it or resentful. Choose to live with it or not, which I have chosen not to & move on.

I don't know what is going to happen. I think I need to wait till the dust settles before I make any MAJOR decisions & give DH a chance to pull his head out of his a$$ during this time of separation.

Comments

Colorado Girl's picture

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

Acceptance is such a tough pill to swallow sometimes. Especially when the core of who I am just knows it could be different... be better.

It is what it is.

I feel for your plight here, schrob01. My situation is similar in a sense and I am still trying to figure out whether I stay in it or enjoy the freedom of not. I, too, am fixing myslef first before I make the decision. To know whether I'm being too harsh by leaving my husband or too codependent in nature by staying with him.

Big hugs to you.

schrob01's picture

How comforting to know that there is someone who is exactly where I'm at right now. I feel that by disengaging there is a better chance & a bigger possibility for things to turn around. I've illiminated myself from the equation & have re-focused on me & what I need to do for ME to be healthy. I see this "letting go" as a good thing for all involved. I've left my husband alone to deal with his insanity. You know, there are ways that you can leave in love & with love w/out any anger or bitterness between you. I think when we come to that place of acceptance, that's when we're able to leave in love.

Big hugs to you also!

Colorado Girl's picture

is being okay with whatever the outcome may be.

I've disengaged to an extent.

I have also laid down where I'm coming from and what I need to fix in myself. Laid down my expectations and more importantly became completely vulnerable and laid down my fears.

My husband was mad at first but I think is coming around and taking it all at face value rather than a reflection of him failing. He's more aware and more responsive once he was able to actually hear where I was coming from.

I have hope.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley