Hey everybody, Its been a while since I've caught people up to speed into the changes and updates with the SK and myself. If you have read my blogs or forum posts recently or in the past I'm hoping I can be a little more clear. Beforehand I apologize because this will be a long blog post. Thank you for taking the time to read....

Currently DH and I are living apart. We decided to do so after we had an altercation and I made the choice to not be in that environment and not put that energy around the Skids. However, I still do see them every month. If you have read my blog entry about MIL disliking me it was partly because of the altercation DH and I had. I took full responsibility over what I did and I apologized because I knew I was wrong for my part. But after the altercation it was told to me she had been mad at me before the fight happened. I respect and love MIL because at one point we were great friends.

So as of right now there is no relationship between MIL and I. I have decided to leave her alone, because all I can do is apologize and change. Iam in a better place emotionally and spiritually. DH has a good bond with his MIL, the way I see it is that their business is theirs and mine is mine. DH and I have completely moved on from the incident that caused all this and we are best friends, although we have differences of opinions about his kids and parenting, he is a good dad and he tries hard to keep up with work, kids schedules/school and still manages to squeeze in fun time with the kids. He is the only parent in their lives being that babymama is still M.I.A. (as I have posted before). Last we heard she was in a hospital on the west coast being evaluated, because she was walking down the street with no pants on, on drugs. She had given the mental evaluator DH number and DH was questioned about her past drug use.

This is the last we heard about her which was last year. She has not contacted the children at all. The kids have always been aware of her unstable condition, and they do understand why they don't see or hear from their mom. SD who is going to be 13 soon has changed her opinion of her biological mom over time. She use to really miss her and would say she wanted her mom around but now she said she doesn't care about her mom and wants nothing to do with her ,of course these are her words and thoughts at the moment, and those may change over time. SS who is 14 I can see still cares for his mom and even gets emotional when she is brought up. Sometimes he says he doesn't care but I can see the hurt.

SS is homeschooled still, even though I don't think its the best choice for him. His dad has decided to continue with it. I have completely let go of assisting in his education and anything he does regarding school is done with his Dad. From what I have heard and gathered he is still behind in his grade, and isn't completing assignments. From my old blog I had also mentioned him going to counseling and a possibility of ADD/ADHD. He was seeing a counselor in the past for two reasons #1 to assess if he had ADD/ADHD and #2 to aid with emotional issues with his biological mom. It was finally ruled out by both the doctor and counselor he didn't have ADD/ADHD and the counselor said SS didn't bring up any trauma from mom. Also the only reason ADD/ADHD was ever brought up is because bio mom said he had it initially. When DH asked her if she had taken him to a doctor she said she didn't, She was assuming he had it.

I wish I had more positive things to say about SS concerning school and house duties but realistically I don't. When I see he does something good I try to praise him for it and hope he keeps it up but that's not the case. I'm aware he's a teenager and we all know how hard that can be on both sides. I just try to take this day by day with him, and so does DH. Sometimes I can see the frustration in DH eyes and I'm lost for words or ways to help. I love SS and only want to see the best for him but I have and am doing the best a step-parent can.

SD is going to regular school and has been pretty consistent with her grades and house duties. She is by no means perfect and right now she is ok.

I also wanted to mention custody. Its still suppose to be DH has them in the summer and babymama has them in winter but ever since she asked DH to take them like I said before she is M.I.A. She is still in the U.S. illegally from our understanding. I have brought up to DH to get full custody since she hasn't been in their lives for years now, this would require him going to court in Canada being that the court issues are all there. She is Canadian and the kids have duel citizenship in both Canada and U.S.

When Iam with Skids I do show interest in their likes and dislikes. However, I have disengaged when it comes to things like their schoolwork and disciplinarian actions. If I notice something I usually tell DH so he can handle it as he sees fit. But obviously I will speak up if one of them is calling the other a name or being mean. Anything deeper than that goes to their dad. I have found that this method works for me personally as a Step-parent and as an individual. I have felt more peace and calm in my life and relationships.

I hope this blog cleared up any confusion. If I missed something please post it below so I can clear it up thanks again for reading this....