Okay... so you any of you who have read my other blogs you know... 3 kids( 1 bio son (3) 2 SD (10)) Daughters mother recently died of drug over does but they were taken from her ABOUT 2 years ago now Theres the background. Dad is strict, rules are in place, with consequneces that follow...

The girls are good kids, but they seem to lack the motivation to do stuff. Little to no engagment in school, poor grades, lieing about things (bedroom clean, did you do this or that). The lack of engagment worries me, they are very young to disengage from life... I know when teen years hit this is a normal phase. But i have been around for 1 year now and it seems the "NORM" for them. At first I just thought it was because of the changes with there mother losing custody ad that it would get better and then with the death of there Mother im not sure how i shoud address or if i even should. 

Tell them to clean there room, they shove it all under the bed. I tried doing it with them... FAIL i just ended up doing it for them and 2 days later it was crazy messy again. And I am not talking like things on the floor, im talking they sleep with toys and books and clothing and papers, wrappers everything shoved in corners and under the bed. I am a VERY neat person... and I have been trying to show them and teach them but they have NO/ZERO/NONE motivation to want to learn. I tell them and then its like they NEVER heard it. My 3 year old knows better then to put his laundry on the floor, he knows it goes IN THE LAUNDRY BASKET. 

With school there Father isn't really engaged as much as I wish. He never checks on there homework and makes them 100% responible for it. but they are barely passing and the only reason they are is becuase of this STUPID no child left behind rule. I mean common yeah let a child fail and NOT understand how to do the basics and move them along to STILL not be able to apply the basics to even more complicated learning.  Either way thats off track... I am not saying do there homework for them BUT I really feel like he needs to HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE for it, since the school isn't. Sit down every night and just go through there bookbag with them, make sure home work is completed and even go as far as checking it and if you knows its wrong having them retry. IDK i was raised to be 100% involved, but I also am very opinionated and always feel the need to be in control. that means I dont always allow the children to learn for themselves which isn't the best either. I know this and I am working on it! And my SO has no filter with holding it back and saying "hey babe he will never learn if youre always doing it for him." 

Their father is fed up with the room cleaning thing as well but has just given up and avoids that part of the house. We both feel like we are a broken record daily and that all we do it yell at them for not doing what they are told. Grounding.. works for maybe a week that follows and then right back to old habits. Their father says there mother had no rules and she had primary custody for 8 years and feels this has alot to do with it. But they have been living under dad roof full time for almost 2 years. I fell there should be some kind of movement on the changing front. 

And they lie about everything mostly small things, or things they "think" they are gonna get in trouble for... best example....

Twin 1 & Twin 2 were given $20 each to go to the book fair by Dad. Dad stated you can spend the full $20 if you find things you like there. When they came home from school Dad asked... " so what did you girls get at the book fair?"

Twin 1: was excited about her boosk showed Dad and went on her way. 

Twin 2: showed her book and stated she only spent $14, and that she had $5 change. 

Dad: That doesn't add up gave you a $20, you can keep the change for something in your wallet. But what happened to the other $1?

Twin 2: they only gave me $5 see and brings out her wallet showing a $2 bill and and 3 ones. 

Dad: Twin 2 the school wouldn't give you a $2 bill and 3 ones. 

(mind you Dad gives them 2 dollar bills occassionaly as a fun gift for a treat and they can spend it or save it)

Twin 2: Silence.....

Dad; Twin 2 i dont care that you have the money i told you it was yours to spend, so ca you just explain to me what happened?

Twin 2: well i had some money left over... and my friend really wanted something so I spent the rest of the money on her. 

Dad: twin 2 thats amazing why would I be mad at you for that? I am mad now that you lied in the first place about somthing i am so proud that you did....

Needless to say they think they are going to get into to trouble they lie. and curbing this habit seems to be impossible..... any suggestions on ANY of the above is apprecaited.