and BM strikes again!
SS is on vacation from school for the next 2 weeks and when DH dropped him off at BMs on Sunday, DH asked if he could pick up SS every afternoon next week.
Per the CO, DH is allowed to keep SS one week during vacation and BM gets him the other week. Well, DH can't keep him round the clock because he works 10 hr days and has no one to watch him, which is why he asked if he could pick up SS in the afternoons and come get him on the weekend. BM said he could have SS all week or not at all and so now DH won't be seeing SS for 2 weeks.
Why is she such a vindictive b*tch?!?!?!?
- young_step_mom's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Since the CO was made a yr
Since the CO was made a yr ago, the mediator told BM that DH was ALLOWED to have SS all week but that if he couldn't have him all week long he was allowed to take him in the afternoons. I should have been clear about that, my bad.
He would pick SS up from BMs house (she lives w her parents) and it wouldn't really change her plans because she always leaves SS w her parents anyway so she can go out w her friends in the afternoon. Of all the times we have gone to pick up/drop off SS, the only times I have seen her are Sunday nights when we drop him off after 9 PM.
DH never changes his mind and since the CO has been in place, DH has always picked up SS in the afternoons during SS's school vacations because he can't have SS all day long. In fact, BM is the one constantly changing her mind and calling DH at the last minute saying he can't come after all, or calling him and asking him to take SS because her parents are going out and she has no one to watch him.
Plus, BM and DH agreed he would be able to take SS in the afternoons and their chat on Sunday was really more of DH wanting her to confirm previously made plans so that he wouldn't come to BMs house just to have her close the door in his face (as she has previously done).
I think she is just pissed because they had to replace SS's school uniform and DH made her pay her half.
I am not trying to start a
I am not trying to start a riot, but I can see your BM's point.
This is your husband's week. His responsibility to ensure childcare for the week, instead he is leaving the child at the BM's house and in effect using her as an unpaid babysitter for the kid during times he did not arrange for child care and only seeing the child when it is convenient for him (the father).
Dad needs to either pay BM the going rate for childcare while she is watching the child and he is at work (if she agrees to do this) or find another alternative for childcare for the week.
Just a thought, did he ask BM, in advance, if it was ok to leave the child at her house during his week? Or did he just assume it was ok and let her know far too close to the holiday for her to make alternate plans? What if she had plans to be out of town that he just messed up due to not taking the child for his week?
I have to agree with Spunki, I believe your BM is frustrated and feels taken advantage of.
He told her about a month and
He told her about a month and a half ago, she said it was fine. He told her again about 3 weeks ago when they took SS to a Dr's appointment, again she said it was perfectly fine. I just think that if she didn't want to look after SS, she should have said no to DH from the get-go.
speaking as a wife and step
speaking as a wife and step mom.....
both the ss live with thier mom, both DH and I work full time, DH already pays CS and medical insurance which leaves us struggling sometime, so why would my DH pick up kids then pay for childcare just to pick them up (late) because of work in the evening then feed them, bathe them then put them to bed because its too late to do anything else? PLUS we have two small babies in diapers that we have to pay childcare for which is expensive because of thier age... Just let the man pick up his kids when he is not working...if he was not working then BM would be complaining of needing CS .....at least he is trying to see the kids
That is honestly how I see
That is honestly how I see it. When DH was still in medical school, he couldn't afford very much CS. He was still paying more than he needed to (thanks to FIL who helped him out A LOT) but she was always pissed because she felt DH wasn't giving her enough and should drop out and get a job. She denied visitation even though he was giving her more money than was required by law.
Now that DH is done w school and paying waaay more in CS, she is pissed because this means he can't be at her beck and call and pick up SS whenever she wants. He used to come back from school early and pick up SS or FIL would help take care of SS because DH was at school, but now that his schedule isn't very flexible, she gets pissed that he can't get off early and pick up SS every time she calls (although he probably picks him up 80% of the times she asks).
If he doesn't call daily to ask about SS, she says he doesn't care. If he calls daily, she says he needs to stop harassing her. If he asks for more time w SS, she says no because they should stick to the CO and it isn't his scheduled time but if he sticks to the CO she says he doesn't miss his son and only takes SS because the court MAKES him. There is no winning with this woman!
I do appreciate your guys'
I do appreciate your guys' responses and I honestly hadn't thought about it from her point of view. I would understand her feeling like DH is taking advantage of her, and for SS's next break I will definitely talk to DH about finding some way to keep him for the whole week, I just wish she had spoken up 6 weeks ago instead of telling him that it was ok and then changing her mind. Plus, if she had said this at any other time (as in, not in the same conversation where she got mad at him for making her pay half of SS's uniform) I probably wouldn't think she was being vindictive.
The CO does not say DH has to
The CO does not say DH has to have SS all week. It says that DH can take as much as 50% of the vacation time (in this case one week) but that if he is unable to, he have SS for a few hours daily. The CO even says that DH can have SS daily the WHOLE vacation, all DH was asking for was one week!