So I've spent the day researching the various issues within my family. Mostly the serious issue of violence with my 19yr BS.
Thanks to a bit of advice on my other post, I have been motivated even more to begin to deal with the situation tonight! As soon as I get home! No More wishy washy parenting. They are taking advantage of me & I know it. And ruining my marriage & their little sisters childhood.
So I've got the phone numbers for the local family relationship centre to make an appointment asap and also have the family relationship hotline number to call on my way home for some immediate advice.
If you've read my earlier post, it has some examples of the violent threats sent via text from my 19yr BS to myself and my HS.
The things he says and writes are just terrible and if I had received that kind of abuse from anyone else in the world I would be pressing charges or getting a restraining order from the Police. Because he is my BS I refrain...he takes advantage of this, knowing his BM can't possibly do something like that.
He's punched a hole in his bedroom door
Swears
Yells
Threatens to hurt my HS
Threatens to sell or destroy our proeprty & pets
Makes demands and basically does what ever he wants in our home
Does not pay board/refuses to pay board
His behaviour scares my youngest BS and makes her childhood life miserable on many occasions.
When he is confronted with this behaviour he blames everyone else but himself - namely my HS.
I feel like no matter what I do or say he will not change or listen. He will not be happy unless I divorce my husband and live alone with his crap. (um..NO)
Now my 17yr BD has decided to join in with this behaviour - demanding things, swearing and when told to stop swearing blatantly says "No"
refuses to eat certain meals and throw them into the bin claiming she will make herself something edible later.
Both say nasty teasing things to the little one and tell her to shut up or stop it when she is jsut playing like a normal 8yr old.
My Mother supports their shitty behaviour so they just run to her.
My HS and I are planning to buy a business & move about 5 hrs away to raise the little one in peace. We figure that the other two will be old enough to be settling into their own lives by next year. BD 17 will be finished school and ready to study & BS will be a 3rd year apprentice and turning 20yrs old!
They are both behaving as if I am plotting to abandon them.
BD is demanding that we buy her an apartment in the city so that she has somewhere to live - this was an idea we had considered as an investment property and somewhere that she could share with a friend and rent from us as a student, but not while her behaviour continues along the lines of her older brother.
BS even had the hide to ask if his GF could move in with us just hrs after going completely crazy about us giving his dog to a good home (in other post)
I don't know how they are coming up with the idea that all of this is acceptable behaviour.
IT MUST STOP
I MUST DO SOMETHING TONIGHT
I don't care if your blunt - I probably need it. God knows my HS & Little BD will probably thank you too.
I need any advice I can get.
If I haven't done anything to attempt to resolve this one way or another then I no longer deserve to be a parent.