What do you think...
Why do the "second wives" always take the brunt of the anger from the X? After all, most of us met our DH after they were divorced or separated and had no intention of going back to their X's. Is it just that the X thinks that the divorce is temporary and we are poaching on their territory? Do they really think that their psychotic behavior makes them seem appealing to any man? My DH wouldn't touch his X with a 10 foot pole...yet, I am the target of her anger, especially after extended parenting time with the children. Help me out here, because my DH is sick of me asking him this question.
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Threatened
She is just plain threatened. She see's you as moving in on her territory. She feels like you got her man (which he was at one time) and she is worried that maybe the kids will see you the way he does. I know it sounds silly, but women are very protective (whether or not they show it.) You are a threat; the other woman that is raising her children, that I can tell you as having a biochild is not something that you like. My outlook is that as long as she is good to my child she is fine, but when she crosses the line, I call her on it. I can feel for both the biomom's b/c I am one and the step mom b/c I am one. I am lucky, that my childs (stepmom almost to be) and I can get along, don't get me wrong we aren't best friends by any means, but I will call her and the biodad to let them know what is going on. I have only once had to tell her how it is, but after that it was okay.
What drives me crazy is when the biomom puts herself before the kids, that's where I have a problem. I know that I would die, before my child had to go through anything (that I can protect her from) she is my whole world, I think the reason we hate the biomom's is b/c they no longer feel that way about the children. Which is mind-boggling.
That makes sense
I also think that it's easy for the "first wives" to project any hurt or anger resulting from the demise of their marriage onto hubby's new love. AS do the step-kids. We are the easy targets for everyone! They have no emotional attachment to us (past or present)..as they do thier children/(parents) or former husbands.
I think its easier for "first wife" just to blame me as the reason for her lot in life...rather than looking at her own actions and role in why she is no longer with this wonderful guy!
Especially since...that "thinking of you often....especially today" e-mail she sent him on thier anneversary last year.
Some women are just nasty, hateful, jealous, self absorbed, bitches and there is no rational explaination for their behavior. They live and thrive on negative emotions. I'm a firm beleiver in KARMA! I've seen it in action. IT really does come back on them. All that negativety clouds their lives & happiness....
What a horrible way to live.....