DH and I talked most of yesterday afternoon. I had sent my boys' to their dad's house for the day so it was just him and I. My opening stance was that I couldn't forgive him for what he did and that as much as it killed me inside I thought our relationship was over. I've never seen anyone as remoresful and willing to accept 100% responsibility than he was yesterday. By the end of our hours long conversation I told him it would depend strongly on how my boys felt about it and that I couldn't promise that we would work things out. So, he went back to his hotel room and I went and picked up my boys.

We drove for a while and I asked my oldest what he thought about everything that had happened. His reply: "I know that I've only known him for 2 years but I've never seen him act like that before and I don't think it's who he really is. I think he made a mistake and that he deserves a second chance." :jawdrop: So not the response I expected from my 14 year old boy. I asked both of them if they feel safe and comfortable and they both assured me that they do feel safe with him there. So, the decision was made to keep our family in tact and for my DH to get some counseling. The boys and I went to dinner and home and my DH arrived a little later. He apologized to the boys and we all talked for about 30 minutes about.

I think my DH truly had his eyes opened after all of this. I'm not the kind of woman who has ever NEEDED a man. I've always supported myself and my boys regardless of my relationship status. He now knows (in case he wasn't sure before) that I won't hesitate to put him out if he ever does something like this again. He's there because I WANT him there, not because I NEED him there.

So, thank you for the thoughts, prayers, and advice. I guess I'll be sticking around as a SM afterall.