Ok, this has been an exceptional trying week. First off, SD10 is now SD11. She was to have a slumber party but, because of her actions and behavior over the past several weeks if not longer has, lost that opportunity. I invited her MGM (maternal grandma) and MU (maternal uncle) over for cake and ice cream on her actual birthday. DH couldn't be there (didn't want to be there because of MGM and MU). I decorated with balloons and streamers had presents sitting out and cupcakes. She was surprised to see the decorations, but she didn't say thank you or anything else. She thanked MGM,MU and her sister for the gifts but didn't thank me. After all I was the one who did all the decorating, shopping, wrapping, etc. and all along I was having a migraine from hell, but yet managed to put a smile on my face. She thanked DH for everything when he got home as if he was the one who did it all. DH did make SD11 tell me thank you.

Sunday is a good day, everyone happy. SD15 is doing her own thing, SD11 is playing with her new games, we have a great dinner, lots of talking and having fun. Then DH and I decided we want to turn in early. Major mistake, because once we close our bedroom door, SD11 takes every advantage to do what she wants. She ended up staying up playing with her games and therefore overslept Monday. Even though I refuse to wake her up I had to do so because I had things to do. So she starts cry. She does manage to get ready and wanted me to take her to school. Nope, rule is, if you miss the bus, YOU MISS THE BUS and therefore you walk. (Getting up on time is a major issue in our house and if she misses her ride to school she has to walk and suffer the consequences at school for being late.)

Well, on Monday I check SD15's grades and find out she got a D in math. It was apparent she didn't complete a homework assignment which has been an issue with her. We had received a letter a couple of months ago saying that SD15 was very close to failing Math. She managed to bring her grade up to an A- and she decided to slack off since she had an A-. WRONG. Then it's time to take SD11 to her therapist. I meet with therapist first, telling therapist about everything that has been going on and that DH and I are thinking about finding another therapist because SD11 has become to comfortable with therapist. Then therapist brings in SD11 and for the first time I see therapist actually acting like a therapist. Well, SD11 shut down and would not say a word. Therapist says that SD11 is the one in control in our house and that if DH and I want to gain it back, we better get on the same page. DH has to step up to the plate and take charge with SD11. Problem is, he feels too guilty about her mom dying, about SD11 being in a fragile state, about SD11 behaving bad. He makes every excuse in the book as to why not to punish her.

What I have noticed recently is that every time we go anywhere he has to tell SD11 all details and ask if there is anything she wants or needs, yet he doesn't do that with SD15!!!! Why is that??

What I have been trying to get at while I have been ranting is that we took away SD11 privilege of going to end of school year swim party as a consequence for her actions. Temper tantrum lasted from 5pm to sometime after 9p. SD11 is not like other children who may cry for an hour at most, she literally will stand and cry in one position for hours. It's exhausting to say the least. Well, I kept reminding DH that we are to ignore her. I could tell that DH was about ready to jump out of his own skin because he really did not want to see SD11 cry and stomp and yell like she was doing. He wanted to calm her down, but I kept telling him she has to learn how to calm herself down and get control of her actions. What is going to happen when she becomes an adult?? I was very proud of him, I know it was hard, but SD11 managed to get dressed and go to bed by herself. That was a major step.

My head hurts once again from all of this. Thanks for letting me rant.