SD having medical problems
My SD 6 has started having severe constipation. She is permanently or I should say currently on miralax every day. We have 50/50 custody and primary residence in our school jurisdiction. We get her every morning before school and every evening after school. Well starting this 1 st grade year she has started the problem of being constipated. Now as I tell this I am not putting blame on one house or the other but there is a clear pattern, the therapist notices it and the doctors notice it. the child sees a therapist weekly and the we have been to the doctors 3 times regarding the constipation issue. Plus in constant phone contact with doctor working on something better.
Now every time she spends a weekend with her mother she comes back to our house complaining of stomach pains which last one day and we just give her the normal dosage and then she doesn't complain the rest of the time at our house. She has never complained on a weekend, but she has come to our house on monday morning and told us that her stomach has hurt all weekend but she never told her mother or sf. We have been dealing with problems like this for 2 years. Will she just won't tell the other house problems and waits all weekend or the two days during the week to tell us. So now with how to fix the constipation problem. The doctors have told us that it is obviously not our house because our other daughter 5 doesn't have any problems and she doesn't complain at our house. Plus the therapist is stating that it is a lot of stress related and the doctor agrees. SD tells us constantly she doesn't want to be at their house, cries, throws fits during pick ups and change overs. She tells the therapist how much she doesn't like being over there. I am looking for any parent out there that is dealing with something similar and how they handled it.
I don't want my daughter missing school (which she does due to stomach pains) and I don't want her to be unhappy but we are looking for help. The BD and me are looking for help we don't know where else to turn. We know that she is in pain but we can't prevent her from going to that house and we are hoping that yes it has been 3 1/2 years since the CO has been in place we are hoping that things will get better. We are at a loss and now our daughter is suffering medically as well.
I have offered to make a diet plan with the other house to at least normalize what goes in her belly, they say they are willing but never follow through with it. So what does a parent do in this situation?
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I have a similar issue. Skids
I have a similar issue.
Skids BM is bipolar and emotionally unstable.
I have no advice for you. Hope some others can help both of us.
I'll bookmark this and see if anyone has advice.
No no, don't use Mag Citrate.
No no, don't use Mag Citrate. Miralax is much safer for longer term use. It's not a stimulant and does not cause bowel dependence. There are off brands and it can be purchased in bulk.
she is on a fiber diet at our
she is on a fiber diet at our house and fiber dummies and vitamins and miralax. its a lot for her but we have tried everything and at our house it is consistent... as much as a 2-2-3 schedule can be consistent.
our insurance covers it we
our insurance covers it we only pay 10 for it. i just got off the phone with the doctor again and they said to continue what we are doing and we are having to start over if she comes to our house without having used the bathroom all weekend. and the doctor wants us to start potty training her with making her sit on the toilet 1 hr after dinner for less than 15 mins just to try. i mean this is getting a little ridiculous just wish people would put their children first. they make her feel so uncomfortable over there about going to the bathroom so now apparently she is holding it until she gets to our house..
Is there any chance there is
Is there any chance there is any sort of sexual abuse going on? It almost sounds like she is afraid to go to BM's. How do they make her feel feel uncomfortable about going to the bathroom? That is concerning.
For a long time she said she
For a long time she said she didn't like being around sf, but she is in therapy and no kind of sexual abuse has come out. she is just extremely close to her father, me and her siblings at this house. I don't like the sf he makes me uncomfortable and I try to avoid contact with him and my bd and bs because of how he makes me feel, but still make sure i am not being rude. Its just one of those feelings you get about people. her mother is very weird about talking to her daughter about bowel movements cuz she thinks its gross so i am sure that makes the daughter uncomfortable and that might be a reason she holds it. my husband and i know we have to discuss the topic so we don't make it embarrassing or uncomfortable. we make it just like any other conversation at our house as to not put anyone on the spot.
i know they have a baby on the way and she has told the therapist she hates the idea of a new baby over there so all these factor play a part in her stress and her regularity. but its not like we can fight for full custody right now. because we all know it is rare to get a child taken away from the mother unless the mother is absolutely horrible. this mother is just mediocre as the courts and lawyers have told us.
i know the pain of constipation and i don't want her to keep going through that. its not fair to her
trust me all of that happens
trust me all of that happens at our house. even when the 1yr son farts we laugh and let them know its natural we all do it. the girls tell us everything from sneezing and the color of their snot to their bowel movements and how it felt. we are extremely open at our house. i know how uncomfortable one can feel and i never want my children to go through that at least at my house
*giggles* jasper - "binding"
*giggles* jasper - "binding" - um, is that not the reason she's posted this blog in the first place?
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sorry, i could NOT help myself!!!!!
i needed that laugh thank
i needed that laugh thank you.
if we ever go to court again. we have to go to coparent counseling for 30 days first anyways. i just don't know if we are there yet. i mean i am just tired of spending money on court. we have already paid 20,000 in court costs for the 2 times the bm went for full custody and lost.
I know sd is manipulative
I know sd is manipulative don't get me wrong and i appreciate all the views and advice i am getting. But our house it ten times stricter and harder than the other house. we have discipline, chore chart, and i don't deal with the crying for no reason which my sd does on the regular to get her way. works quite well with her mother in fact when i had to pick my sd up from school for her complaining of stomach issues she eventually pooped at my house then her mother wanted to talk to her. she had told me she felt well enough to go back to school so i was packing up my 1 year old and then she told her mother that she was still hurting and just didn't want to go to school because she hurt too much so what do you think happened. she stayed home sleeping.
so i know a lot has to do with her behavior but obviously there is something else behind it. and i am not saying blame bm but she should take responsibility for letting the child act like a baby and get away with not attending school and knowing that all she has to do is complain about stomach pains and she can get out of school.
I do not baby my children in any way shape or form. I am the hard parent i was raised with strict rules and i will continue to raise my children that way. i have no problems with my 5 year old unless she spends her 20 court ordered days with her father once a year. but we have continual problems with my sd because the two households are extremely different. it is what it is. yes i get we have to learn to work with this co but some things just don't work for some kids. i just didn't know if anyone ever found a way to work with a child who is emotional and sensitive about everything including health, emotions, feelings and well everything.
just looking for some answers or someone who is going through or has gone through this and thought of a way to get through the unstableness of a 2-2-3 schedule. or have any better ideas.
once again thank you so far for everyone's input