Is it clutter, or gross? Gross I have a problem with. I make my FDH clean gross. Yesterday I made him pick up a chewed piece of gum that SD had stuck to our dining room table (luckily I make her use plastic mats). Clutter, I leave at the bottom of the stairs and make her take it up to her room, which I largely ignore. You could also put it in their rooms. That's how I deal!

let it go. i have }:)

dh never gets mad at me for it tho'. if anyone else says anything, i tell them "i'm not the maid, and they're perfectly capable of picking up their own shit."

OR u could take above advice, gather it all together, clutter AND gross, dump it in their rooms and close the door.

OOORRR, another effective method is give some "warning shots" - as in "if this shit aint clean in two hours, everything that is NOT where it belongs will go in the trash". then give timely warnings, before walking around the house with a trash bag. (but on this one i'd give dh a head's up as to what my plan is. if he gets mad, too bad, HE knew about it in advance and didnt take care of the problem either.)

Have you had a talk, and by that I mean, quietly, privately, without recrimination with your husband about what exactly is bothering you? If you have and the response is still the same, then it's time for you for you to do what you need to in order to have the home you want.
The skids, well, they are just kids and it's your home. I'm sure you've read how other have taken the garbage bag and thrown in whatever's laying around... Try it. Don't say anything, just do it.
No fuss, just toss. If you can, for the first week, hide the bag. See if anyone notices. Keep doing it. You don't have to remind them after that. No yelling, no fighting. 'You left your things out after I asked you not to, now I put them away'.
Honestly, I've never really had to raise my voice, I'm matter of fact. Yes, it is a bit cold, but better that then high blood pressure.

To me the bottom line was and is, I'm the adult. It's my home. You live by my rules.
And if that makes me a bitch, then so be it. I don't think it's unreasonable to have a nice home. Or even just a clean home!

Yes, do the trash bag thing.

And on cleaning showers, sinks, etc. -- discuss it with your dh and hopefully get agreement with him and unity to take this next step. Tell the boys you are either going to give them allowance or college fund donations or insert/what/works/for/your/household/here or you are going to hire a maid service. Maybe the tradeoff item is pay for a video game service they already have, food items they love but grownups not too interested in, certain clothing options like expensive shoes, etc. They can continue to receive their benefit by doing their chores properly. But if they won't do the cleaning THEY will still be the ones to pay for it.

That is, pick out something you would normally do for them anyway that costs money and take it away to use for the maid service.

It's best if you can get your dh on board. If you can't, do it anyway but pick something he won't easily replace himself for them so they don't have to get their wittle hands dirty wif housework.

I agree with just quietly throwing away anything left lying around. The first time I did it, I felt awful. I was terrified I'd get "caught" and grilled about why I was so mean to throw away skids things! I couldn't look DH in the eye that night because I thought he knew what I did.

NOPE

Couple weeks went by, skid never mentioned anything was missing.

Now, whenever shit gets left laying all over my house I throw it away.

I ALWAYS remind, "pick up all your stuff, make sure you have everything with you before you go back to your mom's" so when shit is left behind it's tossed. Not one damn thing has ever been missed.

ETA: DH still has no idea, years after I started, that I do this. I just do it and never say a word. He just thinks that skids miraculously started actually taking care of things since I've stopped complaining and there isn't shit all over the house any more.

I have the same problem!!!!! My boyfriend gets so mad if I get mad that his kids are being nasty slobs. Whether they're boys or not, 7 years old or 16 years old. When you go to someone else's house you clean up after yourself. Period. If they are living with you full time they should have chores. They should be some other responsibility other than being spoiled and lazy. I know how u feel!!!