QUESTION!
How do you get a BM to keep her kids? I don't want to straigt out say I don't want your kids(that might scar them)but I want them out of my home. Does anyone know how to word a conversation that may make her decide to keep them, she already has one living with her and I want her to take the other one. I just don't want to hurt DH by saying I don't want your kids here, and he is already stressed out, and is very unhappy with his kids behavior. What do I do?
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I could really use some
I could really use some advice! I need to have these skids out of my home, they are ruining our home life!
I would suggest talking to
I would suggest talking to DH. Its really not your place to talk to BM about something like that without talking to him first. Is there specific problems that he could solve, that would make things better?
If you get an answer to
If you get an answer to this, I'd really like to know it too. Our BM sent skids to us a few years ago and teenage SS15 has pretty much ruined everyone's relationships in the family since he got here. But pretty much having two separate sparent dynamics going on in one house along with extended family interferance has run our marriage into the ground. But most of all my ss15 is completely inappropriate (i would love to explain but it is too unique and bizarre and specific to him probably). He can't be trusted around any of my children. It has always seemed to me that you should be able to force a BM to take custody... they are HER kids after all and it is YOUR house. It seems crazy that the parent of other biochildren in the home can't have some say about the crap going on around them! It's like the only option is to leave if you don't like it and break your own family apart.
That is the problem I have
That is the problem I have no say in my home. I can't discipline them, last time I did they both hit back!I just want to get her to take them, I wonder if there is some sort of approach I could use like " what kind of mother doesn't want her own kids" perhaps that comment would work! But how do you bring up the topic without being the wicked stepmother! I mean I love these boys I just don't like them, I want the best for them but right now that isn't me, I am beggining to hate them right now because of the chaos they bring into my house, and they shouldn't be around someone who is feeling this way around them, I don't want to scar them I just don't want them! And it isn't just me even his family(brother,sister,father)thinks these kids are brats, the way they swear at me and treat me like shit, the way they treat their father and they fight all the time, we can't even go places it's embarassing how they'll fight and scream in a restaurant of at the mall, everyone looking at these little monsters like they might belong to me when our other 4 children are very good( not perfect) well behaved children. Anyone have any thoughts!?
Start mandating the skids
Start mandating the skids address you as Mom in your home.
I sent you a pm with a
I sent you a pm with a suggestion...
I think its time for both
I think its time for both your husband and you to assert power over them And be harsh about it too. Groudn them, take all their privilages away. I mean ALL. no tv, no games, food at specific times, if they dont eat, too bad, here is a snack go to bed. Their beds, onthe floor everythign out of the room , bare walls and they earn anything they want back. Practically military style but heck. They hit you? they physically hit you? i would call the police and hav ethem removed if my skids ever physically attacked me and i would tell my dh those will never come through my door ever again. Figure out your time to see them and not on my time ever again.
Their mother can't handel them and that is why she doesnt' want them. BUT if they are causing seriousl problems to yoru entire family! and they are a disruption you can legally put them in a home for the sake of your other 4 kids. Andif your dh thinks the same way, and feels just because he's the dad he is stuck with them, tellhim no, you gusy are not trapped. My neighbour did this to her own daughter ...she was 14 or 15 , got involved in drugs, disrespect, physically huritn gher, couldnt' trust her with the other 4 she had in the house, she had her put in a teen home, adolescnet with problems.
You can do that to save the other 4. NEver feel you are trapped becasue bm doens twant them.
You can ever test this. Have them removed for a while and tell both ss, youdont come backuntil youdo a to z....
Have you ever taken them to live somewhere else???
Has your dh punished them? Asserted power over them? ANd i mean harshly...down right the strong arm here?
How did she take the one
How did she take the one kid? Do they want to live with her? Does she want them or is dead set against having them?
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"