SS12 is a total brat!! selfish,lazy,selfcentered in every way and horribly mouthy!! Well BM and I have been discussing this for the last few months and I have let her know some of my frustrations and we are starting to have a working relationship! well I let BM know that I was no longer going to accept his bad behaviour and neither should she, we both deserve some respect! she agrees! I let her know that from now on when SS12 starts in one of his moods that He only gets one warning and BM was there and backed me up when he was told this! works well so far! SS12 hes tried to start something a few times with me and I shut him right down, I am no longer worring about hurting his feelings(I am not cruel though)and BM no longer wants him to live with her, she said she has all she can handle right now with ss14, so when ss12 pulls the "i'm going to go live with Mom" line I say fine call her tell her to come get you and she wont put up with that crap either, so if you think it's soo bad here go ahead and call child protective services they'll find you a home, but your mother, your father and I will not take any of your crap so either smarten up or go find someplace else to live, my house my rules! you want your own rules get your own house!!!! well that usually does it right there, there is usually some under his breath growling as he walks away, but sometimes he calls his BM and she is now telling him to smarten up!!! Finally I think we are on the right track!! it's going to be a long and painfull ride, but its better than the alternative route!!!!!