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BM Strikes again!!!!

Lovemystepkids37's picture

Submitted by Lovemystepkids37 on Thu, 07/21/2011 - 1:56pm

So last night DH tells me that BM called and told him that ss12 was "rude" to her on the phone...DH is a truck driver and I am home with the kids and he is home every other day and all weekend... I say I dont really know anything about it, I know that she called but I do not answer the phone I just had it to ss12 because we have caller ID and I know it is her... I do not stay around when he is on the phone and I let him talk in privacy... SO...DH tells BM that he does not know why ss12 was rude to her but that he has been kind of emotional lately due to puberty being in full swing and that we just have to be patient with him. So she then responds with "are you sure it is that, or is there something going on at the house that is making him upset"? DH says no, everything is fine... She then says " I dont think he gets enough privacy"...Okay, WTF?? She lives 1,200 miles away, She has seen our house! He has is own room, full size bed, laptop, 25 inch color t.v. with satatllite hooked up and we have a strict rule of knocking on any door before you open it!!! Where does this lady get off!!!Before he came to live with us he was sleeping in a twin size bed in the Laundry room at her grandmothers house!!!! Everytime he gets upset or disagrees with something she says then she says we are doing something that makes him treat her this way. She NEVER takes responsibitiy for anything she does!!!!
I have not spoken to her in over 2 years. I leave all of it up to DH and SS12. I have nothing to say to her and I really do not think I ever will. I never speak a bad word about her in front of ss12 but it gets really hard when he starts talking to me about her and what drives him crazy..I just have to keep saying "well, she is your mom and no matter what, she loves you" but it gets really hard... any advise?

Comments

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Thu, 07/21/2011 - 3:23pm

She is having a dose of the 'guilts'.
He isn't living with her and she feels guilty. So instead of saying you guys do a terrific job and provide so much more than she could she turns it into an attack to make herself feel better.

Ignore, rinse and repeat.

Or take a LOT of photos of his bedroom door and label it "Sorry, I can't send you a photo of his room because of our privacy rules."

roseslady2's picture

Submitted by roseslady2 on Thu, 07/21/2011 - 3:31pm

He has way more privacy than any kid in my house will ever get. We don't allow any computers oor TVs in their rooms, doors are required to be open whenever a friend is over, whether girl or boy. Not really sure if SS10 will be straight so we need to limit both. Each only needed to be told that if they wanted privacy, they could pay half the rent. SS15 seems to think that he'll be ready for that within the year. LMAO he has no idea what a cost that will be once he gets his truck. But, we've made it clear that children in our place do not get privacy and adults that aren't paying anything don't get much either.

Don't pay any attention to BM. If she has a problem, let her take it up with the court.

MrsFitMama's picture

Submitted by MrsFitMama on Fri, 07/22/2011 - 11:53am

Oh fun... the blame game. My mom does it to my dad in regards to their kids. I'm so blessed that their bm isn't caddy like that. If anything, she doesn't pay too much attention to skids. Dh and BM let one another know if there were any accidents or anything noteworthy and we go on with our lives.

She must realize she sucks at life in being a parent... dh should tell her to pick up a parenting book and boys and puberty. Holy smokes do they get moody. Plus I doubt ss likes her very much. Mb she's harping on him. Geeze, how often do parents and kids disagree and the kid gets mouthy? IT'S LIFE.
Oh well, at least you know you're doing a good job.
You should write her a letter... air it all out. And then burn it.