We have to deal with the church issue. However, it is us that go to church and not Bm. We just have to deal with it and work around the fact that ss will miss church at least every 1st and 3rd weekend. Ss of course doesn't care. Why couldn't you guys take him to church? Is there a huge difference in religion choice. In our case Bm has no religion that we know of.
Bottom line though, if there is a court order, then he doesn't have to give up his son.

Dawn

Im on my soapbox today as we had problems with the same kind of thing and it pisses me off.

I am a few years down the road from where you are now. BM did everything that she could to frustrate visits with my DH's girls, then eventually her heard exploded (when our son was born) and flatly refused to let us see the girls at all. She took us to court at this point with the intention of us only being able to see the girls for one week in the summer. Two weeks before the court date she moved 8 hours away hoping this would seal the deal. Well the court slammed her and gave us every other weekend (hubby works 2 weekends a month), summer vacation etc. She complied for a while but because she couldnt get what she wanted in court she worked on dh, who of course "wants to take the higher road" and work with her. WTF! Lets see, $2500. down the hole, sleepless nights, depressed hubby, stomach problems, etc. for what???? Not to mention this "flexibility" has done more harm then good. You cant be flexible with a control freak. And as a sidenote Why is it that the crazier and more controlling the ex is the more the "flexible" the dh tries to be?...... anyhow... BM has messed with visitation so much and alienated the kids against us that now at this point we maybe see the girls one week a year as long as all the stars in the sky align correctly. So why didnt we just give her want she wanted in the first place?????

Here is what my dh failed to realize and excerise. A court order is LAW. Even though it may have gone in your favor does not give you the ability to be flexible with it. Only the courts can alter a court order. If you do not follow the order - even if you are just trying to "take the higher road" you are in contempt of court! I dont understand why people will fight for this right to be protected and then throw it away at whim. Ok im overdramatizing but seriously. Protect yourself and follow the court order as it is spelt out. When the BM or BD - whomever is your ex - doesnt like something in the order its out of your hands - tell him/her you sympathize - perhaps they should discuss it with the judge. The two of you couldnt agree - it went to court - so the judge decided. Both parties to the court order are expected to follow it as it is written out. Wave it, hide behind it - and abide by it! Some people you can reason and negotiate with - but not with a controlling or abusive ex!

My brother-in-law has a druggy ex who is not allowed to see her son unsupervised, she was a great person before the meth addiction but not now. She has been systematically working on my bro in law to let her have the son for a weekend. She was starting to wear him down, he felt sorry for her, she is his mother, etc. I told him its not his decision to make, the court order releases him of the ability to make any decisions regarding visitation. It was freeing to him to know it was out of his hands. Now when she whines to him he just says "well im sorry but I guess you will have to go before the judge to change visitation - I am bound by the same order."