Things are heating up again
We are about to go back to court soon. Always a stressful time. DH doesn't want to pay her anymore spousal support or at least obtain an end date and he wants more time with his daugther (50%). Of course she is fighting him on all levels.
This weekend we had SD. I have always had a really good relationship with her...she's 6 and I have been in her life since she was 2 1/2. Well, it started Friday night with her questions about her daddy and mommy's relationship...are they best friends? or are they good good friends. Once we cleared that up yes they are friends..subject ended.
We threw SD a big birthday party on the weekend. We all had a lot of fun. At the very end of the evening SD says to me...I am confused? About what? Why mommy and daddy aren't together? I wish they were and we could be a whole family again......I was flabbergasted!!! Never has she said that before. I asked her if she had this conversation with her mommy...she said no. I told her I wasn't there when things happened but I want her to talk to daddy. She did and I think he made her understand that we are family and they are a family.
I guess I felt hurt...was she just tired after a long day? or did she hear some stuff because of the legal stuff starting again. I know her mom has just come out of yet another relationship. SD really liked the guy (short term only 3 months but spent every weekend with her)
I guess I don't know what to make of it. Thoughts?
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I guess I never thought
I guess I never thought about it like that. I can see that...maybe even after a day of fun, she was wishing her mom could be there as well.
I guess in school she is the only one who has an overnight bag and the lessons are geared toward traditional family units.
I know she loves me. I guess I worry if there are things being said in her mom's house to undermine our relationship.
I usually allow my DH to take over when the questions do start. We have never told her the truth as to why they broke up (mom had an affair with her best friend). Her mom has given Sd a few reasons...1. daddy left mommy for another woman (me)not true and 2. he wanted to keep the family pet and she wanted to get rid of it. He just tells SD that sometimes grown ups are better off being friends.
We are unsure if the truth should ever be told (age appropriate of course) or just let it be.
Thanks for the insight.
(Oh by the way apparently it is me...I am referred to as Stepmonster by the EX.)
Enjoy your day
i believe the children needs
i believe the children needs to know the truth from the start. i would let your husband answer her question so you don't feel strange or uncomfortable. and if you have to answer to that, this is what I would say, some people get together and when they can't get along or no longer wants to spend their whole life together anymore they go in their own ways. it is not wrong, people do it to make themselves happy. tell her that she is lucky to have 2 families that love her very much.
-happy mom
-happy mom
-happy mom
RE:
I agree with vickiemac 100%. She probably heard something at school, or had to do an assignment, or SOMETHING about "family" with ONE mom and ONE dad. She probably just started to wonder, think "does this make me different?", worry, etc. Just be supportive and loving to her and basically keep doing what you're doing.
There's always the possibility that BM said something or planted this in her head...but I wouldn't pursue it because it's seriously not worth it - just be loving and caring and explain things 100% truthfully like you are!
*~So sayeth Nymh~*