The changed man left and the insensitive boob is back
Do you ever just want to kick yourself in the a** for believing they might change?
I thought once he was treated like crap by his ex he understood how it felt and would stop acting that way too. Apparently he was upset by the way the ex treated him but didn't see the connection between what she did and what he does. "It isn't the same damn thing at all!" He is more screwed up than I am!
Tomorrow will be the second time that he has made plans to do something "special" that we have recently discussed doing, just the two of us. I was thinking, "Okay, so we won't be doing it alone, that's okay, I guess I won't mind. It will be cool for them too." In front of them, to my face "When am I ever going to get to do that with them again, maybe never, I can do that with you anytime, you don't need to go."
Uhm..........No, not only can't you do that with me anytime (or you would have by now) you don't need to say that crap in front of them! Thank you so much for being a thoughtless a**. The follow up note to that....enjoy it dumb a** cuz I am NOT going to go there with you now or ever!
He did this same thing last year when they visited. For my birthday, the weekend before their visit, we had a really romantic dinner outside at a lakefront place. During dinner we talked about how nice it would be to take a day off during the week and rent a boat and spend the day on the lake. Peaceful and relaxing, no kids, no job etc.
The Skids come visit the following weekend. I am off to work Monday and come home to all of them exhausted and sun burnt - leaning over the computer looking at all the pictures they took. One a boat, at the lake ALL DAY LONG! I looked at him and he said, "Remember when we talked about the boat on the lake? I took them, it was great!"
Me - "Why didn't you tell me, I could have taken the day off"
Him - "NO, when am I going to get to do this with them again, maybe never"
Me- "Maybe you could have waited until after we did it like we had planned" Him - "No, we can do it anytime"
Me - "no, we can't and won't do it anytime"
Him - "Come on, look at the pictures, they are great."
Me - NOPE, Would rather not thanks." and walked away.
This time, a festival. This time he disrespected me in front of the skids and this time, I have had enough. Next year is my 50th birthday and somehow I am sure they will be visiting the following week again. Next year I am going to plan a fabulous vacation to the place we discussed during this years birthday dinner - for myself and my daughter. The reasoning - "When will I ever get to do that with her again....maybe never."
He won't get it and I dont care if he does. He is right about one thing, I may never get a chance to go on vacation with her again. I want to make sure that the vacation I want is shared with someone who loves me unconditionally, would never purposely hurt my feelings, and respects me. The person in my life who fits all those conditions, is my daughter.
Just one more day and I can go back to work and end the misery of being around these ungrateful people!
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Comments
I know exactly what you mean
I know exactly what you mean though. And, once he's gone and done it without you it just doesn't feel the same to go do it a second time. He is completely clueless. You should definately take your daughter on a vacation just the two of you. You are right, that bond is special and important and a lot more deserving of some special time than a guy who is too clueless to even realize how hurtful he is.
I'm sorry that he can't comprehend how hurtful he's being.
I cannot even begin to tell
I cannot even begin to tell you how many vacations I have shared with all our kids and all I want is one without them. ONE! is that too much to ask?
If he put as much thought into the time we spend together that he does for them, I would be happy but he doesn't.
I get a last minute - lets go to the "blah blah blah" with "so and so", they invited us. and the grown adult kids get - "I put together a week of fun..."
seriously?