anyone else deal with possessive bm??
so this girl treats dh as if he is her property and it irritates me!! for instance, at his family gatherings, when she dropped of sd, she gets out of the car walks to the back yard screaming his name looking for him (we were at a after party if you will for a baby's baptism) and hollerd at him infront of his ENTIRE family about something that could have been discussed quietly...i was preg for our first child at the time so i just let if slide and hoped that he would grow a pair and set her straight and he just told her something to shut up and walked off and she left. then at another one of his family gatherings, she again was dropping off sd, she decided she wanted to stay a while... she grabbed a chair and started talking to everyone, including me!! i was still preg with our first child at the time...everyone is looking around like wth is this girl doing?? no one likes her, they are only nice to her because she is sd mother. dh told her to leave and she did, all the while making a scene. then the last straw...
she called and texted dh one morning becuase he did not pick up her other son (not his) and she wanted him to come to our house so she could have a break...dh did not respond, so she proceeds to bang on my front door like she is the police. now i live in an apt and i have a 2 month old baby at the time and i told dh to inform that crazy woman that she better stop banging on my door before i go and stop her and i also had him inform him that the next time she disrespects my home she is going to be in for a very rude awakening....i am sick of this childish girl and not sure if he is worth putting up with all this craziness!!
- txcajunmom's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Hey there txcajunmom… I’m
Hey there txcajunmom… I’m sorry to hear that you have this dramatic idiot to contend with. It sounds like she hasn’t “let go” of the relationship between your DH and herself. She also sounds like she needs a TON of attention… good bad or other. It further sounds like you all are pretty young (I’m guessing early 20’s..?) and I think in time, once she finally accepts the fact that it’s permanently over between them AND matures a little her antics should calm themselves down a little… for your sake I really hope so!
The BM in our life is almost 10 years younger than we are, is a Russian immigrant and is completely dependent on DH for a lot of things that I would find unacceptable in any other remarriage situation (he still replaces the air filters in her house every two months… will fix broken appliances… move furniture yadda yadda yadda). It’s annoying as hell, but I don’t find it “possessive” in any way. The girl is literally ALL alone and needs the help. I just figure if it’s something that I wouldn’t mind him doing for a neighbor than I shouldn’t mind him helping her out a little. And she never disrespects me in any way by “showing out”… I wouldn’t have anyone disrespecting DH or myself, especially in or outside of my own home.
I really think your DH needs to set some definite boundaries with this young woman.
well i am young...late
well i am young...late twenties though lol. but yes she needs to let go. we have been together for over four years now and they have been apart obviously longer...we have two children together and she has had numerous relationships since theirs and even had another child with bd#3! i think she just wants to make us as miserable as she is. she tries to talk to his family and they ignore her calls becuase they want nothing to do with her crazy self! she tells people that she dosent care what anyone thinks his family is still her family, even though no one likes her, they are "nice" because of ss. i dont know what to do, dh has went off on this girl plenty of times and i have told her what i will NOT accept and she always apologizes but a few weeks later here she goes again!
I feel you on the in-laws
I feel you on the in-laws thing… Mother Russia still has photos up all over her house of DH’s parents like they are her own… it’s really sad and creepy.
When his family comes to visit she has to make a big scene about coming over to “visit with them too”… she even screamed in DH’s face one time about it when he nicely asked if she could keep clear of a certain event we were having, “You go ahead… you go ahead and PLAY family with MY family!!!”
He was in shock… the sheer fantasy land she lives in boggles the mind.
*laughs* when MIL is acting too friendly towards her sons ex he usually has to put her in check by saying something like, “Your Russian “DAUGHTER” told us all about the lovely conversation the two of you had!” *puke*
Stay strong girl… you sound like you have a very level head on your shoulders!
Txcajunmom, I'm in my
Txcajunmom, I'm in my twenties as well.. Personally, I think the age thing doesn't matter.. The BM in my situation sounds just like yours, and she is older then me, but acts way younger! They will always be immature and CRAVE attention from anyone and everyone.. Its what I'm learning to deal with lol.. They need to feel like they come first in some way.. If you love your man, stick in there.. I have learned that.. These things take A LOT of time.. Hang in there! *hugs*