Who pays for collage/university?
DH and I have been saving for university since we started dating ... or rather I started saving for my son's education in 2009 and when we started we set up one for his son, and now our daughter as well.
We save every month, and plan to up our payments and should have enough to give our three kids a full ride by the time they get to school.
SS9's BM claims to have an RESP set up too, however they're registered and our bank can't find hide nor hare of it. When DH and BM sold their house from their marriage (after we got married??) the agreement was for them to split the money 50/50 with BOTH halves going into our RESPs that we're BOTH supposed to have.
We provided her with proof of our completion yet she has yet to do so ... two years after the fact.
She's chosen to be a SAHM which is fine, but she's used it as an excuse to not pay CS, despite the fact that their standard of living is higher than ours.
We worry that she won't be chipping in, and while we can scrape the money together, I don't think we should have to. I feel that the courts should take into account the full situation in that they take into account both families NET income and the number of kids both support and then decide on CS based on that. While I know lots of steps might think that they shouldn't have to pay for someone elses kid I think each case is different. If he's acting like a father figure while SS9 is there, and supports his wifes decision to NOT go back to work to stay at home with his kids than he's hurting SS9's future educational savings (her CS was going into an RESP along with our payments).
I just feel that if they choose to keep her at home, when she could be working and they just have enough income for her not to have to, then SS9 shouldn't be the one to pay for that decision. He was there first.
thoughts?
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I honestly don't believe it's
I honestly don't believe it's the parent's responsibility to pay for their adult children's college education.
Studies have shown that people who pay for their college education themselves do better in school, don't skip classes and party less because they're not getting a free ride.
I, for one, am not paying for my daughter to attend college (if she so chooses). She can live with me rent-free but even that will come with conditions that she maintains her grades.
BM is begging DH and Dh's GRANDPARENTS for money for SD14's college fund. The kid is in 8th grade...and already was held back once.
AMEN to that! My siblings and
AMEN to that! My siblings and I worked summers, took out loans, and paid our own way through college. It's not a parent's responsibility, IMHO. Once you're an adult, you're responsible for your own education. If parents can afford it and want to pay, great. But it shouldn't be a requirement. I'm a COD, and there was nothing in my parents' decree about paying for college, but it seems to be a new trend for Generation Entitlement.
Depends on the child. My
Depends on the child. My parents paid for my education and I didn't waste the time away. I may have appreciated it more had I paid for it but I think I was pretty balanced and was the only one from my class to not flunk first year. My DH was also paid for and he had troubles his first few years, but due to learning disabilities.
I see your point and we've discussed it often. I think we may end up getting them to pay a portion to give them a credit rating as I had none when I left university having had no student loans, but we want to help as much as we can.
I don't think I would be
I don't think I would be worrying about kids getting a full ride to college. There is nothing wrong with them having to work to pay for part (if not all) of their own education.
However, that's just my opinion.
Be that as it may, I would not, personally, worry about making up the portion that she has not contributed. When the times comes for that child to go to college and his fund is shorter than the others - simply show him the paperwork proving to him that his mother was supposed to contribute as well. Then, let him figure it out with his mother. In the meantime, the two of you will need to start worrying about funding your retirement instead of giving your kids a full ride to college.
We can't get into the business of fixing our children's relationships for them. ALL parents make mistakes. And it is up to each parent to have to some day face the music and fix what they broke. Also, ALL children have to learn how to have adult relationships with their parents. The ability to do so can only come from being able to learn and accept that their parents aren't perfect; being able to DEAL with it; and being able to move on from whatever residual disappointments they may have from their childhood.
On another note: I don't know what a RESP is...?
Registered education savings
Registered education savings plan ... Canadian only perhaps?
We have our retirement planned as well .... We save for both ...
I'm 99% sure your SAHBM is
I'm 99% sure your SAHBM is NOT putting anything aside for her kids college. I would question that if I were you because I would ask that to be taken in for consideration on the next CS modification.
Who pays for the skids college? The mantrap uterus & the drunk penis that are responsible for underachiever that he is as it damn won't be me the SM especially since he's a jackass to me. I used to do homework with skid & he treated me like dirt.
My BD got straight As & got a full scholarship. Skid can't even stay awake long enough to do homework. No way am I going to open my purse again for this nonsense. If he can't get a scholarship or financial aid or a job then he better get a harmonica & a tin cup because he's not coming for more StepMom aid.
I agree I have 2 kids in
I agree I have 2 kids in college right now and I do not pay for it. They have to pay for it them selves. I feel that the kids will work harder. In regular school my son barley got by but in college he is getting very good grades and is making way more of an effort and its because he is doing it on his own. He told me so. And he thanks me for making him do so. He gets it now.