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envious of nuclear families

truebloodfreak's picture

Submitted by truebloodfreak on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 11:13am

Do you ever find yourself this.kng about your life would be if you had a nuclear family with no skids. This is mainly for the stepmoms who have no.BIOS or have bios with your SO and not kids from a previous marriage or relationship. As I walk around my job and look at the other cubicles I see happy couple pics,baby pics. I don't know why but I get envious and wish I had that. I don't Im not married, I'm just a baby momma. I'm glad I'm.not married but still some part of me doesn't want to just be the baby's mother. We lived together for 4 years so its like were married but we definitely have some issues to work on before even thinking about marriage ..... I wish when I came home from .work I could just be crested.by my baby and my SO. ....just a vent ...sigh :?

Comments

Beautiful Dreamer's picture

Submitted by Beautiful Dreamer on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 11:19am

I do sometimes but since BM#1 left the state with SS last year and BM#2 refuses to let SS go anywhere alone with us and me and DH have a girl and a boy together we kinda have a nuclear family except when you look at DH's paycheck :/

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 11:22am

Do you ever find yourself this.kng about your life would be if you had a nuclear family with no skids.

ALL THE FREAKING TIME! DH and I have a 22 month old son together, and I have no previous children. Sometimes I think it is even harder having BS1 as it's like a tease when skids AREN'T there... like this is what our "family" could be like without psycho BMs always lurking in the shadows and skids always just a phone call away wanting or needing something.

DH even says he wishes that he could have met me a long time ago and saved himself the drama/hassle of psycho BMs and I most definately agree! (Not that he doesn't love his kids, he just doesn't love what he has to put up with to be a father to them)

confusedsm03's picture

Submitted by confusedsm03 on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 1:34pm

Agreed.

tofurkey's picture

Submitted by tofurkey on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 11:39am

I think about this all the time. I look at other people who have no skid drama, no step drama and I admit I feel envious. I love my DH but I really wish that we could experience life as newlyweds in peace.

Agent_Lovely's picture

Submitted by Agent_Lovely on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:20pm

I don't get envious anymore.I realize all those people who are beaming happiness and light in public can be some of the most miserable at home.I'm careful to envy what anyone else has anymore because people can be so misleading that way.Just because they don't have BM and Stepkid drama doesn't mean they don't have unfaithful spouse drama,money drama,hoarding drama,ocd drama,no sex drama,etc to deal with.

I also don't envy them because while they're tied down to their infants and round the clock parenting...I get every other weekend to be a full on crazy grownup with my husband. }:)

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:20pm

I think it really depends. My current marriage is the best marriage I could ever have hoped for for myself. Our children, a whole other story. Selfish me is very happy with the relationship my husband and I have, but the mother in me wishes that my kids and my husband's kids could have grown up with both their parents instead of in a stepfamily dynamic.

I see what the divorce from my kids' dad have cost them and I see what my husband's divorce has cost him AND his kids. I was lucky in that my kids were always with me. I couldn't imagine them not being with me and missing their childhood and all of their many milestones in growing into adulthood. I know it pains my husband greatly that he doesn't get to experience those things with his kids.

My girls are grown now and have no relationship with their father. His wife couldn't stand the fact that he had children with another woman and he, being the spineless person that he is, decided that not being a part of his childrens' lives made HIS home life much more pleasant. It is very sad.

I think that is why in reading a lot of these stories, I come away thinking about the kids and not their parents. I wish I would have thought of it way before for mine and my husbands' kids sake. Instead, I just try to keep the peace with all of the x's for their sake. It's the least I can do to try to compensate for selfish me.

Ifeeya's picture

Submitted by Ifeeya on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:52pm

I disagree. Anything else is better than having to deal with the ex's drama. And we are not just talking temporarily, but forever!

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 5:37pm

It's funny but before I was actually a stepmom - there were a few step situations that I knew existed but no one ever talked about it so I had NO IDEA what I was getting into - DH, DD and I are a family by ourselves 48 weeks of the year and then for 4 of the weeks we have SS so in essence we are a nuclear family - the only caveat is that BM can and does call any freaking time she wants and just expects us to lie down and walk all over us and that I have to actually know a person like her really pisses me off - I have no friends like her and I mean anywhere near as nasty as her in my life and it pisses me off that I have to have her in it. Oh well another 8 months and bye bye BM - in fact now that SS has turned 18 my DH does not do anything through BM he calls SS and asks him about flights and all that - and this time when I booked for Christmas we did not even ask them we just booked and sent the ticket. It will be so nice when a huge chunk of DH's money no longer goes to BM!!!