It is now over... after BM accused me of harm.
Not sure if anyone remembers my last post it was almost a year ago, BM accused me of hurting SD. This was a split second accusation which was quickly squashed but not once did i get an apology.. Since then i had taken a huge step back as a step mum. Which in turn has now caused us to end. Bit of a back ground, BM is the most toxic, abusive, narcassistic piece of s*** to ever walk this earth. Gives us Bio mums a bad name! One rule for her and one rule for everyone else. In the last 5 years we had a realtionship she had 6 boyfriends that were all introduced to kids but yet WE were the problem. She is now on boyfriend number 7 by the way and already introduced to kids after 2 months.Anyway, before this acusation i had great relationship with SD, SS was another issue he wasnt used to rules and boundaries and being diciplined for misbehaving so struggled adjusting to my home. But while DH was working i took the kids 50/50 split during all holidays (while still paying her full money might i add because it was our job to fund her activities with them? See what i mean... )but since this accusation i did take a step back and told DH i am not putting myself in the vulnerable position anymore, if hes working kids arent here alone with me. which is what BM wanted until i put it into action it which is when she said "Obviously it was a joke" YEH REALLY FUNNY DICKHEAD!
Also before me and DH were together she called police on him for HER attacking HIM with a chair. witnesses there and everything. So if she could do that to her kids dad then she could have easily destroyed me and i was not about to let that happen.
But since then i have had numerous conversations with DH about how i feel like a stranger in my own home, BM actively telling kids not to listen to me. Might i add this is MY home alone, he moved in with me. I was constantly walking on eggshells, didnt think it was fair we were to parent my kid together but with his kids i was an outsider and was to allow his kids to get away with murder because he didnt see them as much. Realised after months of talking nothing was going to change. I made the decision to stop this going any further. I love him, i still do. If the kids werent involved it would be great. But thats an ideal world eh. We are still in touch and found out that BM has gotten worse. She is now fuming that we are broken up but she is now realising just how much i actually did for them, well F U sweetpea. Caused this yourself because of your bittnerness. But also so has DH. lets the kids rule them and tell them what to do and ill be damned if i let a 14 yo tell me how to live in my own home.
Will never be in that position again i can assure you. My kid and I are now doing great. He is a lot brighter too, which fills me with guilt as it wasnt just me going through this hell. Lessons have been learned and i hope no one experiences what i have but if you are, just leave. These kinds of people never change!
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Yes girl!
Yes girl!
sometimes sitting here negotiating with these Disneyland dads is a futile exercise and straight up leaving is the best option.
Majority of these single dads are Disneyland parents (who aren't trying to minimize their dysfunctional patterns) looking to use unsuspecting women to help feed their delusions, subsidize their child support, warm their beds, take care of their kids, and fuel their fragile egos
and these toxic a$$ exes these men bringing to the table are THE worst. Don't want you around their kids (newsflash - dont want those d0mestic t3rrorists over here either so it's mutual) but have no problems using you/your clean quiet home for free respite care from their horribly behaved kids, free nanny for those kids, free maid service to pick up after their lazy messy kids, free chauffeur service to drive their destructive loud kids around, etc .... be a slave to their kids AND pay them child support money plus dictate our home life/schedule.
And isn't it ironic that these dudes all of a sudden want 50% or more of custody AFTER they lied about how minimially involved their custody schedule is, after they lied about how "normal" their kids/baby mamas behave, after they lock you in with marriage (now you're the free hired help, free bed warmer, etc)
I swear Disneyland parents are the best con game swindlers who try to sell their sh*tty step life baggage as if it's some majestic role that will naturally bring great joy and satisfaction
Well done for standing up for
Well done for standing up for yourself, and refusing to let BM, DH and SD walk all over you. So glad that you and your son are doing better - which isn't really surprising, huh? ;-) They can do want they want in their toxic, dysfunctional lives - you are finally free and clear to enjoy your life from now on.
Sounds like you made a great
Sounds like you made a great decision and are thriving because of it! That family was very toxic. If must be very freeing to be gone from that mess.
Well done for standing up for yourself.
Bet deep down it feels really good. Relizeing you are not going to change BM. DH has to know you mean business, no reason to watch disrespectful kids. It's DH KIDS he has to handle them. Not you. You did not cause this dysfunction, you should not have to deal with it. Be careful that BM ultimately want to dump her kids on you. Become single and take up with her new lover
Glad you got out and your kiddo is doing better
Sometimes you have to cut your lossses and RUN. Or kick them out.
I'll say to you what my dad
I'll say to you what my dad once said to me. "About damned time. What the hell took you so long?"
That was over a work situation but those comments applied equally to the end of my first marriage.
Do not let the "love" you mistakenly feel for this failed man, failed father, and failed mate cloud reality. Stay the course, move on.
I fortunately did not partake of the intimacy that my XW offered repeatedly during the divorce after whoring around the whole relationship, dating, engagement, and marriage.
Do not ever again risk sacrificing yourself and your own child on the altar of sparental martyrdom to this idiot and his baggage. Write him and them off. Get on with living well.
Congratulations! Here's to a
Congratulations! Here's to a fantastic new life!