BM Just Doesn't Care - Heartless Mother
BM venting time.
How any birth mother could be so evil and disconnected to her own kids is beyond me. She is a b*tch to the highest degree.
Not only is she argumentive and verbally abusive to her kids and everyone she deals with because she a b*tch. Her son, my SS doesn't want to be with her. SS wants to be with his Dad. Could you believe that she told her own mother, a very religious woman "The reason you're so miserable is because you need a d*ck."
So of course, SS growing up with a b*tch is no piece of cake either. He has a spirit of entitlement and has to get his way and when he doesn't -- there is no reasoning with him -- not even DH can control him. Lately, we had to 2 incidents where DH had to take a belt to him because he's out of control.
OK - my gripe - this woman gets a good child support check and SS never comes home with clothes, a haircut or a belt for that matter and he always, always, always has his pants falling off not because of style but just plain sloppiness and he looks poor and ridiculous. DH had to throw his sneakers out the other day because they were worn and holey. I DON'T GET IT.
She works (recently had a baby) a good job at that. She has a man who works and gets child support.
What hurts me is this, DH has gotten use to his son looking this way. I told DH just this weekend "you and SS need a haircut". DH came home lastnight from work, handsome with his haircut. Is he going to get one for SS? No because he gives that B*TCH money every week, she should do it.
The few times SS has gotten a haircut it's because I paid for it and I won't go out to my family's house with him looking like he crawled out of a whole. The f*cking nerve of that woman.
I bought SS two belts. What does he do with them? God knows. Of course, DH has mentioned it and has gotten mad about it but has he gone out and bought him a belt? No because he feels he does enough. His son is with us every weekend Friday to Monday morning and goes to school from our home. He's with us every major holiday and every once in a while an extra day during the week because he can't stand his mother but I told DH she better give up some money or he can't be here that often. It costs money for him to stay (he eats a lot) -- extra food bill. (Our grocery bill is $500 a month!!!) Family of 3 and 4 on the weekend. I'm not having it. It's not fair and it's not right. I told him "She's taking advantage of you."
We went out to a married couple's house for dinner last week and I bought SS a nice shirt (not very expensive) because I didn't want him to embarrass us. I really care about hygiene and having decent clothes on your back. If my son looks good and he always has a haircut, I don't want to walk around with SS who doesn't. Anyway, I gave the shirt to DH and I watched SS have an attitude and didn't want to wear it and didn't even say thank you. When DH asked him what was wrong he didn't answer.
I refuse to support his child - but - stupid me - vain me - I care about what he looks like when we go out. Even for Christmas I got SS a haircut. DH asked me "How much do I owe you?" I said "nothing" because I know after child support and house bills he really doesn't have the money.
BM is a real f@#$ing bitch. How DH got with her and had two kids not one withher is way too much for my brain to wrap around. I think she's ugly, doesn't have a nice body and definetely doesn't have a nice personality. (Maybe it was good sex.) Who knows??? I've made some bad choices in my life but that one right there is cruel and self-endangerment. :O)
Boy, did I need to get this off my chest.
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Same here. SS lives with
Same here. SS lives with us. BM is drug addict, never works, disappears for months on end and has not since I have known him done one thing for SS financially. I finally called my rank - she hasn't spoken to him or seen him since June - his choice - she sold drugs with him there last time (he is 11) so I get a call from school about him yesterday. This child has had a shitty life but is a great kid! Smart, never any problems out of him for us, and when the school or someone needs mom, he says its me. I explained to her his lack of responsability comes at the times she tries to call (2 weeks ago) and the school immediately took him to the counselor to talk. I got a hug when I got home and a thank yo uso much for what you did for me. Why cant he be enough to change? I looked at his baby book yesterday, DH had full custody since SS was 4 months old. HOw could this chubby smiling baby not be enough for her to care????
ur not alone
FSS keeps coming to our house with clothes that are too small for him including underwear that are so tight that pinch his thighs! We can't afford to buy him anything because she gets half of my hubby's paycheck! She won't get him haircuts so fiancee shaves his head with a clippers...but she can afford 100 dollar shoes and clothes from Lane Bryant and goes out every weekend...as long as she looks good and gets to have fun it doesn't matter..it just proves her son is a paycheck to her..now she wants more money...we don't have anymore money to give this woman...nothing is ever enough.
I dont understand these women...I feel like I'm a minority when it comes to being reasonable and fair with my ex(even though he's a loser!)...I'm still FAIR...there is no reason to be hateful and vindictive when you share a child with each other...these women are sick people...they should get mental help!
Preaching to the choir
My SS is in desperate need of a haircut. I always tell him he has a nervous tick from throwing the hair out of his eyes. He look ridiculous. And the clothes are always hand me down crap. She gets more than enough to dress him better. SD is always dressed nice and so is mom with EXPENSIVE clothes might I add. These women are just stupid. I will not get SS haircut because she gets the money. Why should I spend any extra. We have him clothes at our house and if we go somewhere in public he HAS to change. he always comes over in adult sized shirts my Dh could wear. Pants that are so long they are rolled up several time. I tell him looks like a damn farmer. (I'm mean I know.) Just like poor person. SD's excuse is because he doesn't care what he looks like yet. Whatever. Just another piss ass excuse from BM.
clueless
My FSS hair is a mess, it hangs in his eyes and he is always looking under it to see things. BM gets more than enuf CS to get him a haircut and FH will pretty much just ignore it..
He looks ridiculous I really do hate going out with him.
BUT if I say ANYTHING then I get this look like, yeah you are right, I will mention it to ex...
whatever.
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
Yeah, what's up with the slopiness thing?
Why do these women let their kids run around dirty and sloppy? It's such a reflection on their parenting.
I think you shouldn't pay for any more haircuts or clothes. And if you are going somewhere and he won't pull himself together so he is fit for company, then DH needs to step in. Otherwise, leave his butt at home!
nasty clothes
My husbands ex-wife is remarried with stepchildren . Her husband is a r.n nurse consultant and she is also a nurse . Her new husband has 2 kids in high school and they dress in new clothes and expensive shoes.Meanwhile my husband and i have custody of their son " thats a long story " but anyway we buy our children nice clothing and keep them with nice haircuts . The ex wife buys our son yard sale clothing that are nasty and worn out . When she picks him up from school 4 her visits she will keep the nice clothes we buy and send him back to school looking like a hobo. Nasty worn out strechy pants and a button down shirt . Not to mention she doesnt give him a bath or comb his hair . She dresses nice and always seems to be clean and so is the her other bs and skids . I told her that I provide her with good clothing for him the least she can do is bathe and dress him properly. She does this out of spite and meaness , I am a very successful woman and she tends to do alot of things out of envy . The last visit she had with him she sent him back to daycare in a pair of little girls stretchy pants and a plaid button down shirt and his hair standing up . She hates me because of my relationship with her son and tries everything to "get to me" but my husband and I refuse to play the game with her . So keep your chin up and stand ur ground . Do what you can to raise them and nurture them as much as possible . Buy the haircut and nice clothes that make them feel more confident . It just shows the kids who realy cares . My ss is my baby boy and my responsibility no matter who gave birth to him .
You are so right
That last sentence is key. Thanks for the words of wisdom. It's so sad because women who do this have hatred toward the child they have that reminds them of the men that is gone and they take it out on the child. Sometimes they aren't aware that's what they are doing. Love makes the difference and children know who really loves and care for them.
haircuts
My 16 year old son lives with me. His hair is long and in his eyes and that is the way he likes it. Yes, its a mess and looks bad - to me - but I have to remember that I had crazy hair at his age too. I had a mohawk and my mother was none to happy about it. He does dress like a slob sometime too and doesn't take showers on the weekends unless we are going to a family function.
I do buy him nice clothes and he has his grubby clothes too. He has started to date so he cares more about his appearance. As far as his hair is concerned, he gels is back for family events so we can see his face. It's a faze and it will change. I am just thankful the only thing he has pierced is his ear.