I haven’t blogged in quite some time. I am one of the “lurkers” that are here. I log in while I’m at work and read the blogs and answer them when I feel that I have some sort of input. I don’t always log in to “lurk” but I do log in when I have a comment to make. I have been a member of this wonderful site for 10 weeks. (sidenote: Dawn you are an incredible woman!) When I first came to this site I felt like my entire world was crashing down around me and I had little or no control over it. I was contemplating divorce and I “hated” my SD11 and dreaded her visits. Since that time things have started turning around for me. After SD11 and I had our “moment” the tension started to slowly ease off. We don’t always get along but she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love her whether I’m mad at her or not. Our relationship has tremendously improved.

My marriage to DH has also tremendously improved. Since he started disciplining SD11 we have had very few issues. I’m very proud of him for making a conscience effort to change…most men wouldn’t. (as I’ve seen from this site) The reason I haven’t blogged is because I feel that a lot of you have it worse off than I do. I don’t have a completely crazy, spiteful BM to deal with. She is still in love with my husband I have no doubt about that. She is living with a man that isn’t particularly the nicest person in the world. I must say that she used to call DH A LOT early in our marriage but she doesn’t do that anymore. I had to quickly put the kabosh on that. As a matter of fact I believe that was our first argument. Now I stay more pissed off that we don’t get phone calls when we should get them and we get them when we shouldn’t…crazy.

My beefs with the BM are that she is ALWAYS late for drop offs and pick ups…ALWAYS! She also doesn’t spend any of the child-support that she gets on SD11. I know that child support is for whatever it’s needed for ie a car payment so that BM can get back and forth to work…blah blah blah. I don’t agree with it but I can’t change anything about that. I’m on both sides of that fence and I must say that WHEN my ex pays child support it’s used on my daughter. I make enough money to pay my own car payment. Which leads me to another beef about her…she is a career waitress working part time. (I don’t want to offend anyone and that certainly isn’t my intention) Every three years the wonderful state of NC automatically takes DH back to court to make sure he’s paying his fair share. WELL my issue with this is that DH is a very successful business man and like I said before she works part time waitressing. Why should she benefit with more child support just because he made something of himself and she didn’t? It isn’t anyone’s fault but her own that she doesn’t aspire to be more and it certainly isn’t our fault that she won’t work full time. Of course they take that into account…so they say. Whatever I don’t believe them.

Another beef I have is that she’s truly an idiot. When you ask her a question you can literally see the wheels in her head turning trying to come up with an answer. When she leaves messages this is what it sounds like “Hey DH it’s me BM. Um I was um wondering if um you could um pick SD11 up from practice and everything and stuff.” I SWEAR that was taken from an actual message left! I can’t carry on an intelligent conversation with her because it’s impossible!!! In my opinion, if you can’t speak more intelligently than that…just don’t speak!

Now that I’ve gotten that off of my chest I feel much better. I don’t want to jinx what I have going on right now but I just wanted to share my good fortune with the rest of you.

Have a GREAT weekend!