Selfish Rant
I know people have it way worse but I need to vent.
Last Friday I was supposed to get a huge promotion at work....instead I’m now laid off. Great.
Skids are here and my kids so I guess I’m not allowed to be down in the dumps because my DH is acting all mad if I just go in another room for a minute.
i just lost my job can’t i just get a little support and a shoulder to cry on? No because daddy has to watch SD12 make her tick tocks and the kid has not shut the F up since she got here today......
My dh isn’t a comforting type.....I don’t if he doesn’t know how or what. He always makes me feel worse....he ends up snapping at me or something and all I’m looking for is someone to tell me it’s going to be okay......and make me feel like it’s going to be. I’m learning that he’s just not the person that makes me feel safe or secure....he makes me feel anxious....frazzled....rushed ..confused...on edge.....judged.....even when he doesn’t do anything but be in the room. It’s hard to explain.
I think we just don’t click....all step crap aside. We are opposites in every way....politics...religion...music...movies....personalities....howwe want to spend weekends...how we want the house decorated....how kids are raised....I mean the list goes on.
and in times of crisis like what’s going on now....being married to someone who you can’t come home to and have all the crisis melt away is very hard.
now add all the blended family stuff into that and it’s just a huge disaster.
ugh!
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Step crap issues aside or not...
You deserve and should have a partner that is your shoulder to cry on without any criticism or judgement. If you don’t have that, he isn’t being a partner but a self centred jerk.
hubby knows how i feel about skids and he needs to maintain that relationship with them away from me because 5.5 yrs in nothing has changed, their attitudes and behaviour has gotten progressively worse and that will not change ever as the elder 2 are adults and all 3 skids have their mums are narcissistic traits and mental craziness and personality disorder just like bio mum.
even my husband says why can’t any of them be like me? Well when a crazy woman raised them, you struggle bad to counteract that craziness...
Thanks! I just wanted to be
Thanks! I just wanted to be sad yesterday and All i got was “what’s wrong” and what not.
I don’t know....there is so much resentment on my part.
i spent my whole life until I married him very confident and had really super good luck in life....for 35 years! I swear he brings me bad luck.....if there is something bad that will happen it happens.....things in our home always break....plans never go right....I’ve just never experienced so much bad luck before LOL
You know what??
Alot of us were such positive, accomplished and confident people until stepcrap wreaked havoc on our lives and yhe abuse took its toll and started to make us miserable but we do have a choice to step out of the crap and not subject ourselves to crap behaviour.
It took me over 3 yrs after marrying my hubby to stand up for myself.
Sorry about your job - hugs to you
I said to my DH only yesterday, that a lot of relationships will be cracking under the strain of so much forced togetherness - too much really for most of us. It sounds like your DH has zero emotional intelligence and is only prepared to give attention to SD12, whilst taking you completely for granted. It doesn't matter if he doesn't get it, if he isn't a "comforting type" - when your partner loses their job you give them some TLC - it's not rocket science! Sorry to say but he sounds quite narcissistic.
Thanks! I was so stressed
Thanks! I was so stressed coming home from work yesterday.....I almost snapped at SD12 after hours of watching her rock back and forth on all the furniture......sing loudly and demand he watch her.....and she now demands that he sits with her while she does her online schooling.....OMG...this kid is in all gifted classes and is basically acting like she doesn’t know how to spell and needs help.
you know that feeling you have when you have house guests.....like your life is whacky and you can’t really ever feel relaxed or peaceful.....or in your normal routine....I think I have felt like that since marrying him.....
Sorry about job loss, what a
Sorry about job loss, what a tough time to lose a job!
Why are you married to someone you don't click with and who makes you feel worse? I am just not understanding the concept. Is there a reason you are married? I am not getting it.
IM so sorry!
That totally sux! I would invite you to try visualizing your perfect person and perfect job...it really helped me.
But take some time away from all of them! They do not support you emotionally, then go outside or hole up somewhere...you need to to grieve properly.